וְגֵר לֹא תִלְחָץ וְאַתֶּם יְדַעְתֶּם אֶת נֶפֶשׁ הַגֵּר כִּי גֵרִים הֱיִיתֶם בְּאֶרֶץ מִצְרָיִם.
Exodus 23: 9
THE PROBLEM
It is said that when someone abuses another person it is because that individual was once abused. The trauma that an individual once experienced and suffered is now projected onto a new victim. Uruguayan Psychologist Robert Parrado explains that in his practice “… 100% of the abusers we treated were victims of abuse when they were children” (see here) Abuse becomes repetitive, ad nauseam. Because the new victim will “almost inevitably” become an abuser. Abused children will be adult abusers. Victims of violence, will become violent predators. And persecuted, persecutors. The cycle of “abused” and abusers is created and recreated across generations. How can society overcome this compulsive repetition? How can this cycle of abuse be repaired?
RIGHTS OF A SLAVE?
This week’s Parasha, Mishpatim, contains a large number of laws in what constitutes the first code of Jewish law after the Ten Commandments. It is worthwhile to analyze the first of these laws, that of the Hebrew slave (עבד עברי). When a man was sold as a servant, usually in a voluntary way because of extreme poverty (indentured servant), or because they stole from someone else and did not have the means to pay his debts. The Tora mentions some of the details of the relationship between the slave-master and his servant. But surprisingly, especially for that time and context, the Tora does NOT refer at all about the obligations of the slaves toward their masters, but about something else, completely unexpected and virtually non existent in those days: the rights of the slave! For example: the maximum amount of years a slave can work; his conjugal rights, which remain in effect during slavery; his right to be treated humanly and with dignity, and even his right to severance after slavery is over. Remember that these laws are being presented to individuals who until a few weeks ago were “slaves” of the tyrant Pharaoh, were treated with violence and humiliation, and were deprived of any basic rights. In a few years, upon entering the Promised Land, many of these people will be able to have their own salves. They will be “slave masters”, because slavery, especially indentured-servitude, was very common in those days. BREAKING THE VICIOUS CYCLE Let’s try to imagine now the psychological impact of this “declaration of human rights” in the minds of the Hebrews. By mentioning slavery, there is an implicit acknowledgment of the trauma that the Jews endured for more than two centuries. But Divine Law now requires overcoming the dangerous tendency towards victimization and holding grievances. And it proposes a difficult, but not impossible, paradigm shift. It is as if God is saying to His chosen people: “What you have lived in the past, what you suffered, cannot condition your behavior with your own servants. You were indeed abused by the Egyptians, but that treatment was wrong. I condemn it but I also forbid it. Abuse cannot be repeated. The worst thing that could happen to you is that you would now become an abuser. Therefore, I’m teaching you that when the roles will be reversed, and you would be a “slave master” you must not repeat the behavior of your oppressors.” The Tora turns the negative experience, the abuse of the weak individual, into something entirely positive and constructive: empathy with those who are most vulnerable.
REAL KINDNESS WITH STRANGERS
In this same Parasha the Tora also conveys this powerful and revolutionary idea in a similar context . The treatment of the “GER”, that is, the legal immigrant that comes to work in your land. Except in the Jewish nation, in antiquity, these foreign workers were not protected by the local law. They were the epitome of vulnerability, and were commonly abused by their masters. The Tora, again, is revolutionary: (Exodus 23: 9): “Do not abuse the stranger, because you know what it means to be a stranger, since you were a stranger in Egypt“. The trauma of the abused must be channeled in a different way. The Tora teaches us to “free ourselves” from the abused / abuser circle. Indicating that we are not condemned to mistreat others. And the best (or only) way to break the circle of abuse consists in behaving with extra compassion with those who are under our control. Following the Tora’s instructions, the former Jewish slaves will achieve what even today seems impossible: overcoming the psychological need to abuse others, to compensate for the trauma of being abused in Egypt. This is also a way of expressing “freedom”, psychological freedom, that redeems you from your own past and breaks the heinous cycle of abused > abuser.
