HAVING A CHILD…. OR TWO…
Parashat Toledot tells us that our second patriarch, Isaac, prayed for his wife Ribka, who was barren, to conceive. God answers Isaac’s prayers, and Ribka conceives. She prophetically learns that she is pregnant with twins and that her children will become founders of two nations: “One will prevail over the other, and the older will serve the younger.” When she gives birth, the first baby to emerge is covered in hair. They called him Esau. The second is born clinging to his brother’s heel (‘eqeb), which is why they call him Ya’aqob.
LIVE THE DIFFERENCE!
The children become adults, and their lives follow different paths: Esav becomes a hunter, and Jacob “dwells in the tent,” spending more time in his house than in the field. The personalities of these twins were very different. These differences between Jacob and Esau remind us of an essential point in parenting: sometimes children have the same father, the same mother, the same genetic background, the same education, and yet they can have a completely different character – or sometimes opposite – one from the other. The Torah also tells us that Isaac loved Esav more, while Ribka loved Jacob.
PRESENT OR FUTURE?
One day, Esav returns from hunting and is exhausted. He finds Jacob making lentil stew and asks him to give it to him. Jacob offers it to him in exchange for Esau’s birthright. Esav accepts. Before he gives him his bowl of lentils, Jacob gives Esau bread. So that? So that once Esav was satisfied with the bread, he would have the opportunity to reconsider and not sell his birthright. But Esav didn’t care about tomorrow, and he was willing to sacrifice his future to enjoy the present a little more. Unlike Esav, Jacob represents the idea of making sacrifices in the present – studying, saving, and working hard – to ensure a better future.
ISAAC IN WAR
A famine strikes the land of Canaan, and Isaac moves his family to the land of Gerar, which was ruled by the Pelishtim king Abimelech. God gives Isaac strict instructions that he not go to the land of Egypt. Isaac is the only one of our patriarchs who never left the land of Israel. Isaac settles in Gerar. When the local men ask him about his beautiful wife, Ribqa Isaac tells them she is his sister. He did this out of fear that they would kill him to stay with his wife. Unlike what happened with Abraham, Abimelech discovers that Ribka is Isaac’s wife and criticizes Isaac for deceiving him. Once this issue is resolved, Isaac prospers financially in Gerar, but the Philistines envy his success, and Abimelech asks Isaac to leave. Isaac moves in and digs several wells nearby, finding water. The Pelishtim shepherds claim those wells and destroy them. Eventually, Isaac settles in Beer Sheba, and he and Abimelech make a non-aggression treaty.
TELL ME WHO YOU WILL MARRY, AND I WILL TELL YOU…. WHO WILL YOU BE…
We return to the children of Isaac and Ribka. Esau, going against everything his parents and grandparents wanted, marries two Hittite women, which would be the equivalent of marrying a non-Jewish woman in our day. His parents suffer greatly from Esav’s decision.
When Isaac was old, the time came to bless his children, which in those times was also the way of assigning who was going to be the spiritual leader to continue the path of Abraham. Isaac calls Esav and asks him to go hunting and prepare a meal for him so that Isaac can grant him this blessing and privilege before he dies. Ribka overhears this conversation and establishes a plan for Jacob to obtain this blessing: she will prepare the food, and Jacob brings it to Isaac and receives it in her place. Jacob dressed in Esav’s clothes and thus managed to prevent his father, Isaac, who was already blind, from being able to identify him. When Esav returns, he discovers that his brother has received his blessing, and he vows to kill him. Ribka makes a new plan to save Jacob: her son will move to her family’s home in Haran, Syria until Esav’s anger calms down.
Isaac bids farewell to Jacob, and, this time, consciously blesses him with the blessing of the land of Israel and the continuation of Abraham’s legacy.
ANOTHER SUMMARY
1. Isaac marries Rivka at age 40. The couple had to wait twenty years for HaShem to answer their prayers. Rivka conceives twins. Pregnancy is difficult. Because babies fight each other in her womb. God tells her that these 2 children in her womb are going to produce 2 nations. Esav is born first. And Jacob came out clinging to his heel. Over the years, Esav becomes “a skilled hunter, a man of the field”; while Jacob is “a man of his house”, a man of integrity.
2. Isaac favors Esav; But Rivka loves Jacob. One day Esav returns exhausted and hungry from the field and exchanges his birthright for a plate of lentils. The Tora tells us that Esav did not care about the birthright.
3. There is famine in the land of Canaan, Isaac heads south and reaches Gerar, the land of the Philistines. Isaac presents Rikva as his sister, fearing he will be killed by someone who lusts after her. Isaac works the land, rebuilds the wells dug by his father Abraham and reaps 100 times more than he planted. The Philistines envy him and destroy the water wells. But in the end Isaac enjoys some quiet years.
4. Esav marries two Hittite women. Isaac is growing old and blind and everything indicates that he is in his last days. Isaac expresses his desire to bless Esav, that is, to declare him his heir, before dying. Esav goes hunting to prepare his father’s favorite food. In the meantime Rivka dresses Jacob in Esav’s clothing, covering him with skin so that Isaac would think that he is his brother and Jacob receives his father’s blessings: material abundance and dominion over his brother. When Esav returns and realizes the deception, he cries and declares that when his father dies, he will kill Jacob.
5. Rivka fears for the life of Jacob and he flees from his parents’ house and goes to Haran with the purpose of finding a wife from the family of his mother Rivka, the extended family of Abraham. Esav marries a third wife to try ingratiating himself with his mother: Machalat, Ishmael’s daughter.
