MOURNING FOR TISH’A BEAB
During Tish’a beAb we behave as if we were in mourning for a loved one who has just passed away. To express and arrive at this emotional state of grief, we avoid participating in activities associated with physical pleasure or joy. We also set aside anything that distracts us from the mood of grief, which is the most appropriate for a mourner.
Some examples
RECHITSA (Washing): As in Yom Kippur, taking a shower, or bathing or washing is forbidden in Tish’a beAb. However, if part of our body gets dirty, we can wash it. The use of baby wipes (wipes) is allowed to clean the face, eyes, hands, etc., because this type of cleaning is not considered “washing”. Technically we could wash our hands normally in the morning for Netilat Yadayim, because we do it to fulfill a Mitsvá and not for pleasure. But the Sephardic custom is to wash only the fingers of the hand when we do Netilat Yadayim.
SIKHA (Use of creams or lotions): Using lotions or oils for pleasure is not allowed during Tish’a beAb. The use of prescription creams or ointments is allowed. Using deodorant is allowed.
NE’ILAT HASANDAL: Leather shoes are considered a luxury item (dress shoes), and since as we are in mourning, during Tish’a beAb we do not wear leather shoes. We can wear fabric sneakers or other types of plastic footwear, etc. Other leather items such as a belt or a leather Kipa are allowed.
TASHMISH HAMITA (Intimacy) Intimate relations are suspended on Tish’a beAb. If the Mikveh night falls on the night of Tish’a beAb, tonight Wednesday, July 26, the Mikveh must be postponed until the following night.
LIMUD TORA: On Tish’a beAb we abstain from studying Torah, because studying Torah is a pleasurable activity. We can read and study books or texts connected with tribulations or sorrow, such as the book of Iyob (Job) or Echa, or some passages from the book of Yirmiyahu or some Psalms of Tehiim (for example, 44, 79, 137), or masekhet mo’ed qatán, etc.
WORK: On Tish’a beAb it is not recommended to work because work distracts our attention from mourning. Abstaining from work on Tish’a beAb, however, is not a formal prohibition, but rather a tradition that some communities have adopted and others have not (minhag hamaqom). The decision to work or not work during Tish’a beAb will also depend on the financial or professional situation of each individual. In any case, if by not working on Tish’a beAb one would incur significant economic losses or risk their job, they are allowed to continue working on Tish’a beAb.
TEFILIN: In Yerushalayim, Sephardim wear Talit and Tefilin normally during the morning of Tish’a beAb. However, in most of the diaspora communities, both Sephardim and Ashkenazim, it is customary not to wear Tefilin in the morning, since Tefilin is a sign of honor and distinction: like “a crown” (pe-er) on our head that declares that we are the people chosen by God. In some Sephardic communities, the tradition is that before going to the Synagogue in the morning, one puts on the Talit and Tefilin at home, says Qaddesh Li and Shema Israel and then goes to pray at the Synagogue.
In the Mashadi community and in most communities, the Talit and Tefilin are worn exclusively in the afternoon at Mincha.
SHE-ELAT SHALOM: On Tish’a beAb we do not greet friends and companions as we usually do, since our mood is (or we should lead it towards…) the mood of a mourner. If someone unintentionally or unknowingly greets us, we can appreciate the greeting with a respectful discreet gesture.
SITTING ON THE FLOOR: The general custom is that during the reading of the Megilat Ekhá people do not sit on the benches of the synagogue, but on the floor, just like the mourners do during the shib’a (the first seven days of mourning for a loved one). The Sephardic custom is that on the night of Tish’a beAb, the lights of the synagogue are turned off, only one candle is lit, everyone sits on the floor and literally cries when counting the years that have passed since the destruction of our second Bet haMiqdash.
This year 2023, we will count 1955 years since the destruction of the Bet haMiqdash, as according to our tradition, the Temple was destroyed and burned in the year 68 of the common era (in Hebrew חיים).
