כיצד מתוודה? אומר אנא ה ‘חטאתי עוויתי פשעתי לפניך, ועשיתי כך וכך, והרי ניחמתי ובושתי במעשיי, ולעולם איני חוזר לדבר זה
For Maimonides it is necessary to be specific when you verbalize your wrongdoing or mistakes. Additionally, we need to express (and/or awake) two specific feelings during our confession: “regret” and “shame” The Viduy is not a mechanical and cold verbal confession, lips service. It must be accompanied by sincere feelings of remorse.
But why should we feel ashamed?
Our rabbis said that “shame” is one of the three elements of the Jewish people’s emotional make-up. They explained that a Jew inherits “genetically” three qualities. 1. A Jew is innately shy and easily feels embarrassed (bayshanim). 2. Jews are innately benevolent (gomle hesed) and 3. Compassionate (rachmanim). The rabbis of the Talmud were so confident about these “genetic character traits” that they claimed if a Jew does not have one of these three characteristics “their ancestors were not present at Mount Sinai” (a euphemism to say that such individual might not be ethnically Jewish).
In addition to considering “shame” as an innate condition of the Jewish character –in contradiction to the “chutzpah” that is supposedly attributed to the Jews– our Hakhamim indicated that “shame” is a necessary step for our Teshuba or repentance.
Maimonides writes that when an individual commits a sin against God, he should confess and say “… I am ashamed of my wrong actions.” The feeling of shame is a critical step in the process os sincere Teshuba. Why? Because unlike the feelings of “guilt” which is intimate and private, we feel “shame” when we know that our bad deeds are known by others. Therefore, feeling “shame” while reciting the Viduy (= confession) before God, means that we really feel the Presence of God at that very moment. HaShem is invisible, and it is extremely difficult to be aware of His constant presence. Therefore, we do not easily feel ashamed when we do something wrong privately, because we are not in front of other people. Now, feeling ashamed of our sins when we are in private before God, means that we have reached a very high level of Emuna (faith); it means that we have clarity regarding His existence. And that His presence is as real to us as the physical presence of other individuals.
This idea, feeling the Presence of God at the same level that we feel the presence of other people, was famously expressed by Ribbi Yohanan ben Zakai. When his students came to visit him on his deathbed, he blessed them saying: יהי רצון שתהא עליכם מורא שמים כמורא בשר ודם, “I wish you would fear and respect God as you fear and respect men.” His students were puzzled and asked their master: “And no more than that?” And Ribbi Yohanan explained that feeling the presence of God with the same clarity that we feel the presence of other individuals, demonstrates a very high level of faith.
The greater our awareness of the Presence of God, the greater the feeling of shame that we will feel when we confess our sins to Him. And vice versa.
