Minhaguim of Sheba Berakhot

Today is the 21 of Sivan, 5771

As we have explained last week (see HERE), part of the celebration of the seven days of celebration after the wedding is the recitation of the Sheba Berakhot (seven blessings).

These blessings are recited only when a few conditions are met:

According to the Sephardic custom in Israel (Rabbi O. Yosef)

1.There must be ten adult males present (the chatan is considered one of them)

2.The meal has to take place in the residence of the bride and groom (bet chatanim)

3. There must be at least two new guest (panim chadashot).

When one of these conditions is not met, then if at least three adult male are partaking of the formal meal, they recite just the last berakha (ashe bara…)

The custom in the Mashadi community is the same except that the sheba berakhot are recited, regardless of where the meal is taking place (Rabbi Ben Hayim).

The Ashkenazi custom also allows to recite the sheba berakhot even if the meal does not take place in the residence of the new couple, and even if just one new guest, not two is present (Rabbi Knohl).

When the Sheba Berakhot are recited, the custom is to have two cups of wine: with the first cup, one says Birkat haMazon and at the end of the Sheba Berakhot, he himself says “bore peri hagefen”. With the second cup, they say the other six berakhot. After bore peri hagefen, the wine of the two cups is mixed and given to the bride and the groom (R. O. Yosef)

When only the berakha Asher Bara is recited, the custom is to say first bore peri hagefen and then asher bara.

 

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The First Mitzvah of the Torah

The first Mitzvah of the Torah and the first blessing given by God to Adam and Eve, is the commandment to (marry and) have children. Bereshit 1: 28 says: “And God blessed them [Adam and Eve] and God said to them, reproduce and multiply“.
The Rabbis of the Mishna, discussed the Mitvza of having children is considered fulfilled.
Bet-Shamai said that the Mitzvah is fulfilled by having at least two boys: same as Adam and Eve, who at the beginning brought two boys to the world: Cain and Abel.
Bet-Hillel, however, says that the Mitzvah is not considered fulfilled until one has at least a boy and a girl. Because this is how God created human civilization: with one man and one woman. The matter was settled like Bet-Hillel.

There is an additional reason for this opinion: if you read carefully the words of the Torah, a husband and a wife must first “reproduce” themselves, in other words, have a replica of themselves (a man and a woman) leaving in this world the same number and kind of lives that one day will be taken away.
One more thing: although the Mitzvah is fulfilled by having one boy and one girl, the rabbis explained that it is a great merit to have as many children as one can. They deduced this guidance from the second word of God’s commandment: “reproduce and multiply“.”Reproduce” means bringing to the world a replica of yourselves. “Multiply” means “bring into this world more souls than yourselves”.
Of course, this Mitzvah does not depend exclusively on our good will: its uniqueness consists that to fulfill this Mitzvah the spouses need to be granted God’s blessing, as the Pasuk says: the blessing of having children.

 



The Seven Days of Celebration

The week following the wedding is a period dedicated to celebration and marked by specific Laws and customs. These seven days (shib’at yeme hamishte) are meant to making the newlywed couple happy.

The bride and the groom refrain from performing labor during the week following their wedding. This is not the same prohibition as Shabbat or festive days (Yom tob). Rather the couple should avoid activities that will distract them from rejoicing. Nevertheless, there are some exceptions where the couple would be allowed to perform certain works (a time-sensitive business, a public service, etc).

During these days they should wear festive clothing and hold festive meals. It is a very old custom for relatives and friends to prepare the meals for the couple and host them in different locations. In the times of the Talmud the families and friends of the bride and groom would come to celebrate at the new couple’s home (bet chatanim).

The couple is not formally obligated to make from every meal during this week a festive celebration, they are permitted to eat normal, quiet meals as well. Indeed, there is no obligation to hold even one festive meal per day. But when the couple attends a meal which satisfies certain conditions (as we will explain later on) then the Sheba’ Berakhot (the seven blessing of the bride and groom) should be recited at the end of Bircat haMazon (Grace after a meal).

(From: “The marriage covenant” by Rabbi Elyashiv Knohl)

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