RELIGIOUS INTEGRITY: Lying to preserve peace

Our Tora is very strict with the prohibition of lying. In Shemot 23:7 the Pasuq says:midebar sheqer tirchaq “Keep yourself away from lying”. 
There are exceptional cases, however, in which lying might be justified. The rabbis mentioned the case in which one would lie to promote or keep peace in the family. Provided this lie will only prevent harm, and it won’t cause harm to anyone else. 
The Rabbis learned this important principle from the brothers of Yosef. As we know, when Yosef was young he was betrayed by his brothers who kidnapped him and sold him into slavery. After many years, Yosef became the ruler of Egypt and his brothers needed him. Yosef behaved toward them without resentment, but they thought that Yosef still held a grudge  against them, and he behaved positively just to protect his father from more anguish. When Ya’aqob abinu died, the brothers thought that now Yosef will exert his revenge and punish them So they lied to Yosef. Bereshit 50:15-18   When Yosef’s brothers saw that their father was dead, they said, “What if Yosef bears a grudge against us and pays us back for all the wrong which we did to him?. They then sent a message to Yosef, saying, “Your father ordered before he died saying: Thus you shall say to Yosef, “Please forgive, I beg you, the transgression of your brothers and their sin, for they did you wrong. Please forgive the transgression of the servants of the God of your father.”
Exceptionally, the rabbis justified the actions of Yosef’s brothers because the brothers understood that otherwise the harmony of the family would have been permanently compromised. The Rabbis also observed that this kind of white lies are limited to cases of family peace, and they are permitted only when no harm is caused to another human being, like the case of Yosef and his brothers. 
  
(To be continued….)
    
Click here to watch this recent and very important interview with Norman Finkelstein, a famous enemy of the State of Israel. Please, read between the lines to see the clear agenda of those who claim to protect the Palestinian people’s interests.   


RELIGIOUS INTEGRITY: Representing and misrepresenting God

The Tora is very strict about our obligation to say the truth and our duty to keep away from falsehood.  Speaking the truth and acting with truthfulness is seen in Judaism as one of the highest religious imperatives. So much so that our Rabbis asserted that upon our arrival to the World to Come (=the afterlife) we are faced with three questions, aimed to asses the spiritual level we have achieved in our worldly existence. The very first question we are asked by the heavenly court is about our financial behavior.  nasata venatata bemuna? “Did you handle your money matters with integrity?” Clearly, the way we act in our businesses and material dealings is seen by our Tora as the most accurate indicator of our religious level. 
  
Our rabbis explain that the seal of HaShem Almighty is “EMET” (=The Truth). The seal of a King, similar to today’s signature, was the visual mark or the logo that identified the King. When people saw the seal in a letter, they knew that letter was coming from the King. Similarly, in this world the presence of haShem our God is represented by The Truth.  In a sense, every time we act with truthfulness we turn into representatives of HaShem Almighty. By performing an act of integrity (and the higher the losses we are willing to take by upholding the truth, the greater the merit!) we become “HaShem’s seal”.  Our actions will inspire people who see what we do to say: “This is coming from HaShem” (or, from His Tora).
  
On the contrary, if we lie, fabricate stories or act deceitfully, we move further away from Him. When a Jew (and especially, an observant Jew) acts deceitfully He is “misrepresenting” HaShem. He desecrate His name, as if he would have ‘sold’ God’s reputationfor money…  
  


Good news for those who know Hebrew. You can find now yalqut yosef, the book of Halakha of rabbi Obadia Yosef,  online and free.  Click here.


Religious integrity: The honest seller.

Question: A car seller agreed over the phone to sell to Mr. A a car for 5000 dollars. Mr. A will come to buy the car in the afternoon. At noon Mr. B comes and offers 6000 dollars for the car. Can the seller sell the car to Mr. B since no papers were signed with Mr. A?
  
According to Jewish Law, the seller has to sell the car for Mr. A because he has already given his word, and a Jew is committed to keep his word.  However, if the seller sells the car to Mr. B, Mr. A cannot formally sue the seller. In other words, a rabbinical court will not be able to demand the seller to act upon his word. In Jewish Law for a transaction to be legally binding, there must be some formal act called qinyan (a legal act of acquisition) between the seller and the buyer. The qinyan  might be performed in different ways, for example, a written commitment.   
Our rabbis explain, however, that even is the seller cannot be sued, this seller is now considered by the Tora mechusar amana: a person who lacks credibility, i.e., a dishonest businessman. 
What if other factors are part of the equation, for example, if at noon the prices of the car changed? According to some rabbis the seller still has to keep his word and sell the car to Mr. A at the agreed price (Rambam, Shulchan ‘arukh). Other rabbis hold that in those circumstances the seller might rightfully withhold the sell (Rosh, Rama). 
Only, when there was no clear commitment between the seller and the buyer, for example, if Mr. A said: “I will try to come this afternoon…”, or if Mr. A did not arrive at the time he promised, then all agree that the seller can rightfully sell the car to Mr. B.   
(Adapted from penine halakha, liqutim, 49-50)


Mr. Aaron Feuerstein, an extraordinary example of RELIGIOUS INTEGRITY and KIDDUSH HASHEM. 
WATCH THIS VIDEO CLIP and judge by yourself (by CBS, 60 minutes). 


RELIGIOUS INTEGRITY: The Honest YES

In the Tora it is written: (vayiqra 19:36) “You shall have just balances, just weights, a just epha, and a just hin; I am the LORD your God, who brought you out from the land of Egypt.”  Ephaand hin are Biblical units of measurements (like pounds or ounces today).  The Tora instructs the seller to keep the scales balanced (=just) and well adjusted, so there is no dishonesty in trade and business transactions. If you sell tomatoes you need to maintain the scale clean and well adjusted. Otherwise, even that little dirt on the scale will affect the final weight, and the buyer will get less tomatoes than what he paid for.  
Our rabbi extended the scope of this pasuq and explained that the word ‘hin’ a liquid measure unit, is similar to ‘hen’ which in ancient Aramaic means YES. They explained that in the same way our scales need to be just, our words need to be just. When the seller is going to say YES, it has to be a just and honest YES.   
Illustration: If I sell cars and a client says that he wants the car at the end of this month, and I know that I will not get the car at the end of the month, I must tell the truth to my customer.  Even when I know that by saying NO he will go somewhere else to buy his car, and I will lose the sell. If I lie to my customer and I pronounce the dishonest YES, I will be transgressing the Mitzva of HIN TZEDEQ:  Keeping a right YES, and a right NO. 
  
Rabbi Eliezer Pappo in his book Pele Yo’etz assures us that although in the short term the seller might lose a good deal, in the long term, the right YES and the right NO is the smartest business decision. Because, he explains, there is no better advertisement for a seller than the fame of a good name and honesty. 


It’s Your World  Taking responsibility for the environment, a message for tu bishbat, by aish.com


Giving the benefit of the doubt

The Tora instructs us to judge people giving them the benefit of the doubt. By doing this, we fulfill a very important Mitzva:betzedeq tishpot amitekha (Vayiqra 19:18) and we also prevent one of the main triggers of Lashon haRa.  Many times, we might be misjudging people’s actions or attitudes toward us.  The Mitzvah of giving the benefit of the doubt consists in stopping our own negative thoughts before they become resentment or hatred  in our heart. 
Illustration: A rabbi was giving a speech. In the last row Mr. Cohen, a respected member of the community is seating with a stranger. They seem to be good friends. While the rabbi is speaking, he notices that the two of them don’t stop talking. The rabbi is a little upset. The talking continues. Actually every time the rabbi says something, Mr. Cohen makes a comment to his friend, without even trying to hide it! The rabbi considers stopping his speech and demand from Mr. Cohen to be silent. But he knows this will greatly embarrass Mr. Cohen in public, and decides to continue. You can see in the Rabbi’s face that he is very irritated.
As soon as he finished his speech the rabbi walks directly to Mr. Cohen, ready to reprimand him for his disrespect. To the rabbi’s surprise Mr. Cohen came smiling toward him and before the rabbi could pronounce a word Mr. Cohen says “Dear rabbi, what a great speech! As always, I enjoyed every word. Let me introduce you to my cousin, Gerard. He is from France and he does not understand a word of English. But, I translated to him your whole speech and he was very impressed”.
(Based on a true story)
WATCH  100 Blessings  Why should I be grateful? by TribeVibe, from Aish.com


Rab Safra and Religious Integrity

The real test of integrity takes place when someone is faced between keeping his word and suffering a financial loss. King David expressed this idea in Tehillim: nishba lehara’ velo yamir… The honest man would keep his promise even at the cost of losing his money. Illustration: Mr. A promised to sell an item to Mr. B for 100 dollars. But later on Mr. C offers Mr. A 110 dollars! If Mr. A follows King David’s instruction, he will sell the item to Mr. B for 100 –despite the potential monetary loss– because he already gave Mr. B his word.
The Talmud brings the ultimate example of integrity:
“Rab Safra had a donkey for sale. A gentile came to his house and offered him 50 coins for the donkey. At that precise moment Rab Safra was reciting the Shema Israel, so he could not answer back. The Talmud asserts that in his heart Rab Safra accepted the offer of 50 coins. The buyer, however, thought that Rab Safra’s silence meant that he expected a higher price so he offered him 60. Rab Safra was still reciting the Shema, so he did not react. The buyer then offered him 70. At that point Rab Safra ended the Shema. Rab Safra refused to accept the 70 coins. He said that in is heart he had accepted the first offer, 50 coins, and he would not take extra money after that.”  Rab Safra was considered by the Talmud the epitome of yr-e shamayim, a man with a highest level of respect and reverence to God (Makot 24a, Rashi)
“Integrity includes but goes beyond honesty. Honesty is… conforming our words to reality. Integrity is conforming reality to our words – in other words, keeping promises and fulfilling expectations. This requires an integrated character, a oneness, primarily with self but also with life.”
(From Stephen Covey’s The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People)  
 
 
√ “Anywhere but Israel”
The negative vision of a Jewish traveler, and a newspaper, on visiting Israel. 
 


EMET and SHEQER: Of faith and witnesses

The Torah’s commands us to “stay far away from falsehood” (Shemot 23:7) midebar sheqer tirchaq. Falsehood (sheqer), is regarded as something repulsive. Therefore, when a person speaks words of falsehood violates this positive commandment even by merely including some falsehood in a true report and even if the words are literally true but their implication is false.

The foundations of our faith is the knowledge that our ancestors did not lie to us. God revealed Himself only once. To our forefathers in Mt. Sinai, 49 days after they left Egypt. This happened approximately 150 generations ago*. And while all other religions base their faith in God on “evidences”, we Jews know that God Almighty does not leave any physical evidences of His Presence: there are no pictures taken in Mt Sinai, no stones with a special divine radiation, no left overs of that miracle. But there are witnesses. 600,000 witnesses of God’s existence. Yesha’ayah (43:12) considers this explicitly as the nature (and mission) of the Jewish People. atem edai, he said, “You are my witnesses,” declares the Lord, “that I am God”.

In a good sense, the fate of our belief in God is intertwined with trusting our fathers. We believe in God –and so ironically believe all those religions based on the Hebrew Bible– because we believe in our fathers. Those who stood and heard the voice of God in Sinai. We trust them. We believe that they transmitted the truth from generation to generation. And by believing in their testimony, we inherited their role as God’s witnesses.

* Rabbi Henry Pereira Mendes, Z”L (1852-1937) an American sephardic Rabbi, and one of the rabbis of Congregation Shearit Israel in New York, wrote in his Sefer of Jewish History that, although there are some discrepancies as to what would be the exact equivalent date of the Exodus on the vernacular calendar, he suggests to keep in mind the year 1492 (BCE) a date, he said, very easy to remember for anyone who lives in America. Learn More about Shearit Israel and Rabbi Mendes: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Congregation_Shearith_Israel

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



Compulsive liars

Today is Rosh Chodesh Shebat , 5771

The Torah forbids to lie.
The Torah distinguishes between different levels of lying. In Shemot 23, 7 the Pasuk says: midebar sheker tirchak “keep yourself away from telling lies”. Which our rabbis interpreted as the prohibition to tell something about the past or about one’s future intentions, changing deliberately the details of it.

Lies are also classified according to the damage they cause. Although it is forbidden to lie even when no harm is caused, the more harm the lie causes to someone else, the more serious the lie is considered.

Our rabbis explain that the first victim of lies is very often the liar.
When someone gets use to lie, he builds for himself an alternative reality. A dimension he devises for himself to accommodate his wishes, fears, complexes. He will give more importance to his perception of the facts than to the facts themselves.

Sometimes -the Rabbis (and the psychologists) explain- a person might get addicted to lies. And in needs of changing reality or escaping reality in order to survive or enjoy life. This person is called ‘a compulsive liar’. Someone who lies out of habit.

“Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary”. The compulsive liar many times suffers from a very low self esteem and might need therapy and counseling.

How to Stop Compulsive lying?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7olO2PBr-8Q

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



The inconveniet truth

Today is the 23rd day of Tebet, 5771

The rabbis explained that we come closer to God to the extent that we are willing to sacrifice, for the sake of the truth, material benefits for ourselves. The ultimate test of our appreciation for the truth is not philosophy, but our willingness to lose in business or in any other personal area, for the sake of the truth.

This is what the Torah intends when says: vehalaktha bidrakhav “And you shall conduct yourself -in your daily life- in His paths”. (Debarim 28, 9).

Think of of a person, who is considered knowledgeable in Real Estate, and he is asked by a friend or family member, to give his advice about buying certain property that just came to the market. This person, instead of telling truthfully that it is a good deal, lies saying that he is not sure about it, or that something might be wrong with that property, because he is interested in acquiring that property for himself. The same applies for example in the area of Shidukhim -dating- . If someone asks your opinion about certain girl -which you consider her to be a very
good person- but you don’t give a good reference about her, because you’re interested in her for yourself. These are all examples of harmful lies.

In all these cases, when a person is asked to give an opinion, and he tells the truth, despite having a conflict of interest, and he sacrifices his own benefit for the sake of the truth, this person is behaving with real yrat shamayim, fear and respect of God, and is “conducting himself through the paths of God”.

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



Identifying the ‘Truth’

Today is the 16th day of Tebet, 5771

Saying the truth, speaking and acting truthfully, is one of the principles human civilization is founded upon (pirke abot 1, 18). The Torah exhorts us to tell the truth and keep away from lying. It also teaches us that there are some exceptional cases in which we are allowed – or even commanded- to alter the truth.

First we need to understand that spiritual growing depends on grasping the ‘true’ nature of our existence and living accordingly.

The God given tools to identify the truth are our intelligence (sekhel) and reason (Rambam).

The ultimate reality is God.

But it is not easy to hold ‘constantly’ in our minds the reality of God’s existence (let alone God’s Presence!) and live according to that Truth. Why? Becuase most people do not stop their lives to reflect where are they going or what are they living for? They are driven by pure ‘imagination’, constantly escaping, eluding, mocking or ignoring the reality of God’s existence, which is
also the reality of their own existence. Even those who are believers, often ‘forget’ of His existence and fall into the tricks of imagination.

The rabbis said that: “The seal of God Almighty is EMET” (the notion of ‘truth’), which means, that we should identify the ultimate reality as the reality of God. Therefore, whatever comes from God -the Torah: the book of His will- emanates from that source of truth too.

Living a truthful life begins by identifying the world of imagination around us and have a clear notion that the only true REALITY is God’s.

TV and the world of imagination : http://www.aish.com/ci/s/48924702.html

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024