When somebody says:

1.What is mine is yours and what is yours is mine. Nonsense.
2.What is yours is mine and what is mine is mine. Evil.
3.What is mine is yours and what is yours is yours. Kindness.
4.What is yours is yours, and what is mine is mine…. some say, that was the trait (=the sin) of Sodom”.According to the Mishna, the ideal attitude in Judaism is to give with kindness, to share with others what God gave us. And all this, without expecting automatic reciprocity (“What is mine is yours and, what is yours is still yours”). This is the epitome of Jewish morality.Now, what is so wrong about “What is yours is yours, and what is mine is mine”. For many, “leave ME alone and I leave YOU alone” is the best possible scenario for living in society! Moreover, why the Mishna compares this seemingly perfect behavior with Sodom, the city of evil?First, we need to remember that Sodom was a very rich area. No one was allowed into their city (into their “club”) unless he was rich, like Lot. To prevent others from sharing in their wealth, the Sodomites legislated laws against helping the needy. Strangers and poor people were not welcomed, on the contrary, they were brutally abused.

As it is typically the case in any corrupt society, to justify their selfish laws the Sodomites developed a suitable “philosophy”(which I cannot resist to comparing with the Nietzschean notion that helping the poor and the sick delays the evolution of the Ubermensch).  The people of Sodom reasoned: Why should we share what the gods had given us with the needy? That would be a sin! If the gods would have wanted this poor man to have food, they, the gods, would have given him food! Giving food to the poor will be definitely a sin: going against the will of the gods.  This cynical philosophy, which characterized Sodom, precipitated its destruction.

In Judaism, “Mine is yours, and yours is still yours” is the practical application of “You shall love your fellowman, as you love yourself”

He [Hillel] used to say  “the more meat [i.e., food] the more maggots”.

In this Mishna we are taught that excess in the satisfaction of our basic needs is not necessarily good. On the contrary, it hurts us.  Anticipating the modern medical view on the destructive consequences of overeating Rabbi Ytzhaq Magriso (18th Century Turkey) writes: “Hillel explains that all wordily things are meaningless, fleeting and impermanent. One may expect pleasure from these vices, but the effect is often the opposite. The first vice [mentioned by Hillel] is overeating…  one feels good and strong after a large meal, and feels that he can go in this manner forever. But the net result is often obesity… Overindulgence in eating and drinking can bring about many sicknesses, an much human illness is the result of not keeping one’s mouth closed.  If one eats too much, he ends up shortening his life span.”

Judaism does not preach to suppress our basic needs. But when we indulge in excesses, these needs turn into vices or what we call today addictions. Overeating; the insatiable craving for wealth; excessive laziness; excessive attention to sex. etc. are all self destructive

Rabbi Magriso concludes:

“Thus, the more a person indulges in worldly vices believing that this will lead to a good life, the more the opposite becomes true.  A man should get along with the minimum required to live a respectable life, and not seek more. The opposite of the vice of overindulgence in eating and drinking which shortens one’s life, is the increase in the study of Torah. As the master says, ‘The more Torah the more life’ .”

The Tora we learn “is not merely an external gain, but it becomes an integral part of a person. It is thus something that one carries with him even after death. In this respect it is the exact opposite of worldly vices, which are entirely external. Nothing of these [food, material wealth, etc] can be taken along when one dies.  No matter how much one gains of the worldly, everything is left behind”.

…המלבין פני חבירו ברבים… אע”פ שיש בידו תורה ומעשים טובים

אין לו חלק לעולם הבא

Rabbi Eliezer from the city of Modi’in says in Pirqe Abot that when a person embarrasses someone else in public, he might loss his share in the world to come, the afterlife. He emphasizes that even thought the perpetrator might be a fully observant Jew and a kind and generous person, if he is abusive, offends or embarrasses  someone else publicly, he looses his part in the next world.  Why such a terrible punishment for something apparently so trivial?   For the rabbis embarrassing, offending or bullying a person in public, is not a small thing. They actually compare this type of abusive behavior with “murdering”. 

ניתאי הארבלי אומר הרחק משכן רע ואל תתחבר לרשע

ואל תתייאש מן הפורענות 

To prepare ourselves for Shabu’ot, the day we received the Tora, it is customary to study Pirqe Abot, the “Chapters of the Fathers” which is a tractate of the Mishna composed around the Second Century. This Mishna does no deal with the details of the observance of specific Mitzvot, as usually the Mishna does, but with practical Jewish wisdom, values and mores.

There are many excellent English translations and commentaries of Pirqe Abot. My favorite one is the Me’am Loez, written by rabbi Ytzhaq Magriso, 18th century, Turkey. He wrote his commentary originally in Ladino (Judeo- Spanish. The book was published in 1747 and today we have a beautiful English translation of his book done by rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, z’l.

Let me share with you a few insights from his book

This Mishna (1:7) talks about neighbors and friends. Exhorting us to be careful when choosing our company.

*Rabbi Magriso explains the dangers of bad influences, via friendship. Influence, positive or negative, is not perceived while taking place. Bad company is like second-hand smoking. The harmful consequences are virtually inevitable, and we might realize those effects on us or on our children when it is already too late.

*Rabbi Magriso also wrote: What is the best way to assess someone’s character? What is the way to see if our children are in a good path? Look at his or her circle of friends. Who your friends are is the best indicator of who you are, or who you are about to be.

Rabbi Ytzhaq Magriso, the author of the commentary of me’am lo’ez to Pirqe Abot, explains in his words what we call today “intellectual or academic arrogance”.

This Mishna is addressing those who might “think highly of themselves because they are learned and consider themselves to be above the general populace at large. This attitude leads to arrogance, which is a very bad trait.  When a scholar studies he must do so with humanitarian outlook. Together with his studies he must learn to be humble and able to get along with people.  When a scholar sees someone doing wrong and wishes to correct him, he should not do so with strong language and disrespectful tone. rather, it should be with a sweet language and in a calm tone”.

On the same note, in August 2012, a teacher confesses her mishaps in this field: “The philosopher Foucault pointed out that knowledge and power are so intimately related that we cannot really think about them separately. .. Arrogance is the Dark Side of knowledge and students, no matter how old, can become scared of you because you have power just from being a teacher.” (see the rest of the article here ).

Rabbi Magriso concludes that a humble teacher or rabbi will make sin disappear: “Since he shows respect for the public and speaks to them in kind terms, they hold him in regard and esteem him. Then, when he admonishes them for some error,  they will heed him and respect his views. Thus, the study of Tora and good manners can allow the scholar to banish sin”

Pirqe Abot   English translation online, by Chabad.org

MUST WATCH “Don’t be too late”

 To prepare ourselves for the day of Shabu’ot, the day we received the Tora, it is customary to study pirqe abot, the “Chapters of the Fathers” which is a tractate of the Mishna composed around the Second Century.  This Mishna does no deal with the technical details of the observance of specific Mitzvot, as usually the Mishna does, but with practical Jewish wisdom, values and mores.      

There are many excellent English translations and commentaries of pirqe abot. My favorite is the Me’am Loez, written by rabbi Ytzhaq Magriso, 18th century, Turkey. He wrote his commentary originally in Ladino (Judeo- Spanish) and the book was published in 1747.  Today we have a beautiful English translation of his book done by rabbi Aryeh Kaplan, z’l (see here).

Let me share with you a few insights from this book

The Mishna 1:7 talks about bad neighbors and bad friends. Exhorting us to be careful when choosing our company (or our children’s company!).

*Rabbi Magriso warns of the danger of bad influences. Influence, positive or negative, is not perceived while taking place. We might realize the effects of bad influences on us or our children when it is already too late. Bad company is like second-hand smoke: I will bear the effects and consequences of smoking cigarettes even though I, myself, did not smoke.

*The Mishna warns us to keep away from a bad neighbor. Rabbi Magriso offers his interpretation of a bad neighbor.  In his opinion a bad friend or neighbor is defined, primarily, by his or her character. A bad friend is an individual who suffers when sees you happy. Find neighbors and be among friends who are not jealous of you, and save yourself from a lot of trouble!

*Anticipating the era of Facebook, rabbi Magriso also sentenced: What is the best way to asses someone’s character? What is the way to see if our children are in a good path? Look at his or her friends. Your circle of friends is the best indicator of who you are. Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are (or who you are about to be!)

Pirqe Abot   English translation online,  by Chabad.org

MUST WATCH “Don’t be too late”

On account of the nature of its content, it is generally designated in English as the “Ethics of the Fathers”.

The use of the word Abot (=fathers), in the title, is of very ancient date. There are various explanations for it. Samuel de Uceda, in his collective commentary Midrash Shemuel, says that as this tractate of the Mishnah contains advice and good counsel, which, for the most part, come from a parent, the Rabbis mentioned in it adopt the role of “fathers,” and are therefore so designated. Additionally, this treatise is the basis of all subsequent ethical and moral teachings and doctrines, and the Rabbis are, in consequence, the “fathers” or prototypes of all ethical teachers and moralists that will come after them.