Humility and Leadership in the Jewish People

Ancient civilizations admired the physical power of their leaders (Hercules); their military wit (Alexander the Great), or their cunning (Hermes). Humility never deserved to be exalted as a virtue, especially by pagans. On the contrary, humility was associated with weakness.
The Tora, however, never emphasizes the military force or physical power of a leader: victory on the battlefield, ultimately, is granted by God.
This is the reason why I think Moshe, our greatest leader, would have been considered as a very “powerful” leader and warrior by other nations, because among other things
* Moshe confronted and defeated Pharaoh, the most powerful man in the world at that time.
* Moshe brought three million people from slavery to freedom.
* Moshe triumphed in the glorious battles against Sihon and ‘Og.
What the Torah emphasizes about Moshe however, is his character and personality. Particularly, his humility.
What is the humility of a Jewish leader? And why is it so important?
A leader can have two types of agendas: his or her public aspirations and his personal aspirations. Public aspirations consist of what the leader wants to do for the good of his community, his people or his nation. Personal aspirations consist of what the leader wants to do for his personal benefit: his wealth, his narcissism, his self-image, etc. Sometimes these two dimensions might coexist harmoniously and in balance, and sometimes they become inversely proportional: if the main objective of the political leader is his personal benefit, the leader will be willing to sacrifice the benefit of his community to achieve his personal goals.
There are many examples of this type of leadership. But there are no many examples of inverse situations. Namely, when a leader is willing to sacrifice his own honor, his material goods and even his dignity, when is not about the benefit of his people.
Let’s look at some cases of Moshe Rabbenu’s leadership to uncover what kind of leader he was.
THE GOLDEN CALF
Moshe reacts with indignation and anger when he descends from Mount Sinai and sees the people worshiping the golden calf. They had replaced HaShem with an Egyptian idol and they were worshiping him. The indignation of Moshe was so intense that he broke the Tablets.
PEOPLE COMPLAIN
In this week’s Parasha, when the people complained with chutzpah that they “only” had the manna to eat in the desert, and they started to voice aloud what they were eating in Egypt, Moshe was also aggravated (ובעיני משה רע ), although those complaints were not directed towards the person of Moshe.
MORE COMPLAINTS
In the desert, people complained again saying “Why did HaShem take us out of Egypt and bring us into this wilderness to make us die of thirst and hunger?”
The people complained to HaShem, but Moshe reacted with anger, calling the people of Israel “rebels” (שמעו נא המורים).
These three cases, in which Moshe reacts with anger, have something in common: the complaints are not directed towards Moshe: the people, unfortunately, were behaving with ungratefulness and insolence towards HaShem
Now that we know that Moshe is able to react with anger at certain offenses, we will briefly see other types of situations, that should have normally triggered a similar or more severe reaction on Moshe’s part.
PERSONAL COMPETITION
In this week’s Parasha, two individuals, Eldad and Medad, were “prophesying” in the camp of Israel. “Prophesying” was an exclusive prerogative of Moshe, until then. This “irreverent” event was noticed by Yehoshua, who immediately informs Moshe and proposes to neutralize these two men, Moshe’s competitors. What was Moshe’s response? (Bamidbar 11:29): “And Moses answered (to Yehoshua): Are you jealous for me? I wish all the people of HaShem would prophesy, and [hopefully] HaShem will grant their prophecy [also] to them!
PERSONAL OFFENSES
In another episode, also in our Parasha (Bamidbar 12: 1-2). “Miriam and Aaron speak falsely against Moshe …”. On this occasion, again, Moshe does not get angry, or react. There is no jealousy, no reproach, no counterattacks. Moshe lets it go and remains silent.
Why?
Because Moshe is “offended”, feels aggravated and reacts with passion when it comes to the honor of HaShem. Moshe passionately cares about the cause and honor of HaShem. HIS MAIN AGENDA IS THAT THE PEOPLE OF ISRAEL WOULD BEHAVE PROPERLY AS THE PEOPLE OF GOD. And this public aspiration, became his “exclusive” aspiration.
That is why, when it comes to personal matters, offenses which would affect his personal, Moshe does not bother. Nor is he offended. Acts with zero arrogance. THERE ARE NO PERSONAL AGENDAS FOR MOSHE. For him, it is enough to know in his heart his own integrity. And he does not care about competition or jealousy. On the contrary: he wants to stimulate it.
These gestures are a clear indication of what humility means in Judaism: moving our personal interests to the periphery and establishing the Divine cause at the center of our lives. Moshe, as an individual and as a leader, represents the epitome of humility.
And that’s why the Tora says about Moshe:
“And Moshe was a very humble man, more [humble] than any other man on the face of the earth”
שבת שלום


Words that hurt, words that heal. By Rabbanit Coty Bittón

Balak, king of Moab, feels threatened by Israel’s presence in the area. He knows that conventional weapons will not be enough to combat this people who counts with the help of HaShem and an army of 600,000 soldiers. Balak decides to use a more sophisticated strategy. He hires Bil’am, a famous wizard, for the power of his words. Bil’am knows how to invoke curses and use magic words that supposedly destroy the enemy. Nothing more suited to defeat this unconventional enemy. But God intervenes and does not allow Bil’am to curse Israel. On the contrary, Bil’am is forced to pronounce blessings for Israel. Some of them so beautiful that we have incorporated them into our daily Tefilot.
Words are very powerful. Human beings were granted the incredible ability of language. HaShem gave us this gift that allows us to communicate with each other and express our ideas, thoughts and feelings.
A person’s speech reflects his or her intellectual and spiritual level. An educated and refined person will stay away from bad words and negative language. We have a number of Mitsvot in the Tora warning us about the pain that negative words can cause others.
As parents we must take every opportunity we have to teach our children to stay away from using toxic language. For example, if I hear my daughter talk to her friends about another friend, I must remind her the damaging effects of Leshon haRa. Obviously, the most effective teaching process happens when my children observe that my husband and I, in our conversations, stay away from negative comments.
But it is not all about being careful with negative speech. We must also realize the power of positive speech. For some reason, Balak did not think that the best way to help his army would be to bless them, instead of looking to curse the enemy. Bil’am and Balak were only able to think of cursing and criticizing.
We are different. We know that good words, blessings, praise, have enormous power to do good to others. When someone is having a hard time, is sad or depressed, the words of support from a friend give him courage and lift his spirit. Same with words of gratitude and recognition to the efforts made by others. Sometimes doing Hesed with others it’s so easy! All you need is only a handful of positive words that can do so much good.
Once again, in this area we must teach our children by example as well. We criticize them when they do something wrong, right? Well, we must learn to praise them when they do something right!. The power of praising is amazing. And we need to use it. Usually we correct the negative behavior of our children and very often we forget to praise. No doubt there are so many positive actions we can acknowledge. If our children only receive criticism they will likely suffer from low self-esteem. And it is quite possible that they would also become critics. 
We must learn to find a balance between constructive criticism, which as parents we have to exercise, and praise, words of encouragement and appreciation to our children that will nurture their self-esteem and will allow them to become good people, men and women who know how to use positive language.


The beginnings of Antisemitism: DEMONIZATION

The origins of anti-Semitism can be traced back to Ancient Egypt. The anti-Jewish attitude of Pharaoh was not directly related to something the people of Israel had done wrong. Pharaoh’s antagonism to Jews had to do with a new political situation: Pharaoh’s opposition to the previous government, which was friendly to the Jews, especially because of Yosef. 
This is the first example of an incredible paradox that repeated itself numberless times in Jewish history. Being loyal to a present local government leaves Jews exposed to the whims of a new government, coming from the opposition. Let me explain: In exile, Jews were always very loyal to the local government. And thus, for example, when the son of the previous king succeeded his father,  Jews were respected by the new monarch, for the loyalty Jews had shown towards his father. But if the previous King was not succeeded by his son, if the previous King, for example,  was dethroned or overthrown by the opposition, now the Jews would have to pay for their loyalty to the previous government.
Is this what happened in Egypt when a new Pharaoh came to power? Everything seems to indicate so. And based on the plain narrative of the Biblical text (peshat) now the new Egyptian King inspired in the heart of the masses a new antagonism to the Jews.  And this when, for the first time, we will find a very distinctive element of anti-Semitism: anti-Semitic propaganda. 
In Parashat Ki-Tabo the Tora refers in one word, to this type of anti-Semitism. It tells us that before torturing us with hard labor the Egyptians  yare’u otanu (וירעו אותנו המצרים ויענונו). This sophisticated Hebrew word vayare’u is usually translated as “damaged us” or “they did bad to us” .  But there is another possible reading of this word, without forcing the delicate semantics of this term. Rather than translating “they did bad to us” this verse might be telling us something deeper: the Egyptians “made us bad”, i.e., “made us look bad” or in one word, “demonized us.” They spoke ill of us and falsely accused us of horrible acts. Pharaoh demonized us suggesting that Jews became rich by robbing the Egyptians. Or that because Jews are a separate people, their loyalty to Egypt is questionable…. This fake propaganda was necessary to justify their case for persecuting, killing and destroying us.     
The demonization of the Jews was, and unfortunately still is, the first step in any Antisemitic campaign. For centuries Jews were falsely blamed for the most heinous crimes: poisoning  wells of water (in the time of the Bubonic plague, 1350), killing a god, killing children to eat their blood in the Matza, etc. Some of these ridiculous allegations, incredibly, are still spread until today. The “demonization” of the Jews was, is and will remain a prerequisite to pursue and condemn the Jews. 
Pharaoh continues his inflammatory speech:
הבה נתחכמה לו: “The Jews are smart, let us outsmart them” The Jews had a reputation for being smart, studious, a people who appreciate the value of education. Pharaoh does not deny this. But in his anti-Semitic rhetoric Pharaoh “demonize” the intelligence of the Jews and presents it as a kind of negative and evil “cunning” which will eventually lead them to betrayal.
ונוסף גם הוא על שונאניו ונלחם בנו ועלה מן הארץ
“They will join our enemies, they will fight against us and abandon the land”.   Pharaoh’s speech is a typical demagogic discourse of a dictator. Note that Pharaoh does not address his court or his cabinet (‘abadav) as he does when threatened by the plagues. He speaks directly to the people (on national TV).
Pharaoh ends his speech with the most popular, harmful and unfounded anti-Semitic accusation. “The Jews will betray us, they will join our enemies and take our wealth with them.” Pharaoh is trying to sow fear in the Egyptian population, and like many other tyrants he used the essential characteristic of the Jewish people, their sense of community and unity, to demonize them. The greatest strength of the Jewish people is used by the anti-Semite as their greatest vulnerability. Thus, even it is a lie, it is credible to accuse of disloyalty a people that resists assimilation ….


SHEMOT: The Nature Of Antisemitism

We just finished reading the book of Bereshit, Genesis. Bereshit is not a book of laws. It is a book about the origins of humanity and particularly about the beginning of “Israel”. The book of Bereshit, however, does not mention the “people of Israel”, only the “children of Israel”. In the book of Shemot, Exodus, the family of Ya’aqob is transformed into a people, a nation. It is here, in our Parasha, where we find for the first time the word ‘am: people, nation, to define “Israel”.
The words עם בני ישראל, “the nation of the children of Israel” is first mentioned by none other than Pharaoh, and in a very particular context. Pharaoh refers to the people of Israel in a negative, hostile, today we would say “anti-Semitic” tone. Pharaoh speaks directly to his people warning them about the threat posed to Egypt by the Jewish people and presents a plan for getting rid of them. Isn’t ironic, and incredible, that in the first scene in which “the Jewish people” appears the “final solution” appears for the first time as well ?
In the coming days I would like to take a more profound look on the speech of Pharaoh, his evil plan and its execution. I think that this exercise will help us understand better the deep roots of anti-Semitism.
How did antisemitism begin in Egypt?
In Shemot pasuq 1:8 the Tora presents the events that led to it.
 “And a new Pharaoh arose in Egypt, who did not know Yosef”
Why would a new Pharaoh ignore the contributions of Yosef and wish to destroy the Jewish people? The Tora only mentions explicitly the surging of a new King. Following one of several interpretations I would say that we are dealing here with a very common political phenomenon. When a new government, say the “opposition”, takes over, it is natural that the allies of the former government would automatically become the enemies of the new government. Example: In a 180 degrees change from the previous government, the new Argentinian government does not consider Venezuela, Cuba and Iran as allies.
If in Egypt a new pharaonic dynasty surged, or as some historians suggest, if the native Egyptians regained the power that the Hyksos usurped two centuries earlier,  in either case, it would be nothing but expected that, if the former government was friendly with the Jewish people, the new government won’t.
Following this assumption we can learn a great lesson about the nature of antisemitism. The hatred toward Jews is not necessarily the effect of something bad Jews have done to the non Jews. Sometimes, many times, antisemitism arises for reasons that are far beyond what Jews can do or avoid doing. When Jews live in exile, and a government is friendly with us, it does not mean that the next government will treat us well too. Even though we would do nothing wrong to deserve being mistreated. This phenomena happened hundreds of times in the history of the Jewish people in exile. For centuries the Jews lived in peace, tranquility and relative prosperity in Spain until 1492. Something similar happened in Germany before 1938. But when a new Pharaoh arose in Spain, Germany, England, France, etc. things turned very bad for the Jews, without deserving it….
Accordingly, anti-Semitism had nothing to do with what Jews did toward the non-Jew. For Hitler the Jews were Communists, for Stalin we were capitalists. When the antisemitic tyrant wants to hurt us , the only thing that changes is the excuse.
What we are going to explore now is the anti-Semitic propaganda by which the tyrant justified his determination to hurt, expel or eliminate the Jewish people.
אשר לא ידע את יוסף  “A new Pharaoh who did not know [that is, who chose to ignore] Yosef”. The first thing an antisemitic tyrant in power would do is to ignore the contributions of the Jewish people. The more important or impressive those contributions were, the bigger the effort to conceal them (revisionism, demonization, etc.). The Nazi government ignored the participation and loyalty of the Jews who fought for the “motherland” Germany during the First World War. Nazi Germany chose to ignore the contribution of Jews in medicine, science, arts, etc. Men and women who contributed greatly to make from pre-Nazi Germany one of the most advanced countries in Europe.
The Spanish kings ignored the contribution of the Jews in the fields of medicine (think of Lorenzo Badoz, the physician to Queen Isabel), astronomy and navigation (think about Rabbi Abraham Zacuto) and especially in the area of trade and commerce, the main profession of Jews in pre expulsion Spain. .
Today we experience a similar phenomena. The world systematically ignores the enormous contributions of the State of Israel to the modern world. Israel excels in the fields of medicine, technology, agriculture, optical, irrigation, etc, etc. (see below). But instead of considering Israel as the most amazing country in the world, for their incredible contributions to humanity despite being the only country whose existence is threatened, Israel -the Jew among the nations- is according to a BBC poll, the country “that threatens world peace more than any other country”
Anti-Semitic propaganda did not change. In any case, it became more sophisticated.

 



YOSEF, and the secrets of his success # 6 EMUNA

Before we discuss the Emuna of Yosef, we must clarify what Emuna is all about. Emuna is usually translated as “faith,” and it is defined as the “belief” in the existence of God. Yosef’s Emuna, and the Emuna of a good Jew, as we will explain in the following lines, goes far beyond that kind of “faith”.    Emuna is to remember God, think about Him and make Him present in our lives.

Now let’s talk about Yosef’s Emuna. There is a fundamental difference between Yosef and his ancestors. While HaShem spoke directly with Abraham, Isaac and Ya’aqob, He never spoke “directly” to Yosef.  On the other hand we see that HaShem was very close to Yosef. The Tora tells us (Gen. 39:23) that thanks to His Divine intervention Yosef prospered in all his endeavors ואשר הוא עושה ה ‘מצליח.
Now, what did Yosef do to merit having HaShem near him, if God did not speak directly with him?
HaRambam, Maimonides describes a simple but very profound way to ensure that we are always under HaShem’s radar. Maimonides says that HaShem is as close to us as we are to Him. When we think of God and we make Him present, His Presence,  כביכול gets “synchronized” with our thoughts of Him.
And this is exactly what happened to Yosef. In all circumstances in which he lived, Yosef had HaShem always in his mind.
Yosef made HaShem present when he was provoked by Potiphar’s wife (Gen. 39: 9). As explained by our Hakhamim, Yosef saw a vision of his father, who reminded him that what could potentially happen with Potiphar’s wife, would not be correct in the eyes of HaShem.
In the worst moments of his life, when he was imprisoned for a crime he did not commit, and with no logical hope of getting out, Yosef did not forsake HaShem. Many people probably would had not persisted in their Emuna in a similar situation. Why? Because when someone is really bad, especially when one is the victim of an injustice, one might think that HaShem abandoned him, or that God does not exist, ח”ו. But Yosef persevered. He had HaShem present in those moments and he did not stop thinking about HaShem and mentioning him (40: 8).
When Yosef sees that his time of glory was coming, when he effectively interpreted Pharaoh’s dreams, he also mentioned HaShem (Gen. 41:32). Any other person would have probably boasted of possessing a great wisdom and superpowers. But Yosef did not. He attributed to HaShem the dream’s interpretation.
And when Yosef finally got to the highest position, he also continued to think about God. HaShem was present in his mind and in his words when he forgave his brothers (50: 19,20). This is probably the most important achievement of a person of faith, remembering HaShem when one is rich and healthy. Many people fail in the challenge of wealth and welfare. They forget HaShem in those circumstances because they feel that now, they do not need God anymore in their lives, ח”ו.  Our Hakhamim warned us about this phenomenon when they told us that  “the challenge of wealth (remembering HaShem when one is rich) is more difficult than the challenge of poverty גדול נסיון העושר מנסיון העוני.
Now we can better understand why the Tora says that God was with Yosef. HaShem was with Yosef because Yosef had HaShem in his mind at all times. We also learn from Yosef that if we ever feel that Hashem is far from us, it is surely because we have moved away from Him.


YOSEF, and the secrets of his success # 5: INTEGRITY

Today we return to Yosef. Last week we said that Yosef’s success depended on haShem’s help (כל אשר הוא עושה ה’ מצליח) but also on the impeccable moral behavior of Yosef, which earned him the Divine help. We already talked about Yosef’s patience, his self-esteem, his proactivity and his ability to see the future from a Jewish perspective, as a dimension open to possibilities that we ourselves can create.
There is another feature of Yosef, perhaps the least unknown, that brought Yosef to succeed: his integrity.
Yosef’s integrity is implicitly or explicitly manifested in at least three cases
1. HONESTY
Yosef was bought by Potiphar as a slave. Shortly after being in Potiphar’s house, Potiphar assigns him as the administrator of his estate. The Tora says that Potiphar (Gen. 39: 6) “… left everything he owned in the hands of Yosef, and Yosef did not have to give him any reports of anything …”. Potiphar had total trust in Yosef. What did Potiphar see in Yosef that led him to appoint him as his administrator? It was very common for slaves to steal. The rabbis said in Pirqe Abot מרבה עבדים מרבה גזל “the more workers at home, the higher the rate of robberies the employer will suffer”. Domestic workers felt that their pay was never enough, and thought that it was their right to take whatever they wanted from their employers, as a just compensatory act. Yosef obviously behaved with an uncommon honesty, which was identified by Potiphar and made Potiphar promote Yosef as his manager. Rabbi Eliezer Papo, z “l, says in his wonderful book Pele Yoets that honesty is the key to professional and commercial success, because sooner or later the honest person acquires a reputation that becomes its greatest asset and his more important credit report (and vice versa).
2. FIDELITY
As we know, Potiphar’s wife tried to seduce Yosef. For a young man with not family and alone, the affection of a woman was not only a matter of instincts but also, or above all, the fulfillment of an emotional need. But Yosef contained himself. He was not carried away by his physical or emotional needs and instincts. Yosef guided himself by the moral principles he learned from Ya’aqob, his father. The Rabbis already warned us that there are two very sensitive areas, in which many people fall, and therefore we must redouble our efforts to overcome them. First, the area of financial integrity (גזל), and second the area of sexual behavior (עריות). This is not new: we permanently hear in the news how people of all social levels and even (or especially) individuals in prominent political positions, fell in disgrace because of matters related to economic corruption or improper sexual behavior. Yosef gives us a great example of moral integrity and loyalty.
3. NOBILITY
We all think that Joseph is called “tsadiq” (a righteous man) because he refused the advances of Potiphar’s wife. This year I heard from Rabbi Hayim Sabato ( you can listen to his class, in Hebrew here) that additionally (or mainly) we should consider Yosef as a great tsadiq because of his ability to forgive. When he finally reveals his identity to his brothers Yosef did not express any accusation, and said nothing about blame. He forgave them and tried to comfort them. In an incredible display of moral magnanimity Yosef told his brothers. 45: 6 “And now, grieve no more, and do not feel bad with yourself … because in the end, it was to save lives that God sent me before you came here.” 45: 8 “It was HaShem not you, Who sent me to Egypt.” Yosef tells his brothers not to feel guilty. That they were actually a tool Hashem used to save millions of lives from starvation. It would have been so natural and expected for someone who suffered so much to express a minimum reproach, a small oral and emotional revenge, something that would make his brothers feel bad or responsible for what they did… But Yosef did not do that. Yosef only thought to comfort his brothers, because they felt so guilty.
Rabbi Sabato explains that sometimes a person can be a great “tsadiq” in the religious area, while when facing a social situation (בן אדם לחברו) this person may not act with the same greatness and altruism. Yosef, we are shown, had a comprehensive impeccable character, he was loyal to HaShem and nobel to his peers. All these attributes made Yosef attain his great and unique title, Yosef haTsadiq, “Yosef, the righteous, the man of integrity”.

 



YOSEF, and his success. # 4. HOW TO SEE THE FUTURE?

No. 4. HOW TO SEE THE FUTURE?
During the last days, I wrote about Yosef and the secrets of his success. We mentioned his patience, his self-esteem and his proactivity. Today I’m going to write about his vision of the future. Later on, we will explore two more elements: Yosef’s integrity and ultimately Yosef’s Emuna. These six personality traits made of Yosef a role model for us all, his descendants.
What does a Jewish “vision of the future” mean?
I think this is one of the least appreciated elements in the story of Yosef.    Let’s see…
Pharaoh dreamed of seven fat cows being devoured by seven skinny cows. But the skinny cows remained skinny, even after having devoured the fat cows.  And so happened with seven ears of wheat as well. Pharaoh sought someone to interpret his dream, and the Torah says ואין פותר אותם לפרעה “And there was no one who interpreted Pharaoh’s dreams.” Does this mean that no one was able to interpret Pharaoh’s dreams? This is what most people think.
But there is another possibility. Actually, the interpretation of the dream of the Egyptian monarch was more than obvious. Egypt’s cattle industry, cows, and Egypt’s agriculture, ears of wheat, will collapse. But, if the interpretation of Pharaoh’s dream was so obvious, why none of the court’s wizards approached Pharaoh and interpreted his dream?
Perhaps what happened was not that no one was able to interpreting Pharaoh’s dreams, but no one wanted to bring Pharaoh the bad news: that after seven years of wealth, Egypt will end in bankruptcy.  Who would dare giving these horrible news to Pharaoh?
First, because Pharaoh could react very badly and “shoot the messenger”.
But there’s more. Something much deeper. The court’s soothsayers understood that Pharaoh’s prophetic dreams conveyed an inevitable fate awaiting Egypt. The soothsayers were futuristic-fatalists, and thought that the future cannot be altered.
Here comes the genius of Yosef and his “Jewish wisdom”. For Yosef the future is not written in stone. The future is not static, it is dynamic. It can be changed. When the prophets of Israel spoke to the people about the future, and for example, prophesied that the Bet haMiqdash was going to be destroyed, they were not transmitting an unchangeable prophetic vision, they were warning about the future consequences of the misdeeds of the people of Israel. And thus, they called the people to do Teshuba, repentance, because they knew that “the future” is in men’s hands. The realization of that bad prophecy could be avoided.
The same happened with King Hizquia, who despite the prophecy of Yesha’ayahu Hanabi, saying that the King would die, prayed to HaShem and was cured.
Unlike Jewish society, where it is understood that the future can be changed by God or by men, in pagan society omens, prophetic dreams and oracles convey an “unalterable” vision of the future. For the diviners of Pharaoh, the seven years of famine would be hopelessly seven years of famine that will destroy Egypt.  So, it is better to say nothing ….
But where others saw a big problem, Yosef, with his Jewish vision, saw a great opportunity. If during the seven years of wealth Egypt stores grain abundantly,  Egypt not only will survive the famine, Egypt (and Pharaoh ) could end up becoming the richest country in the region, since everyone else will come to Egypt to buy grain.
The difference between Yosef and Pharaoh’s soothsayers had to do with a fatalistic vs. a creative vision of the future.
I think Yosef’s approach to the future characterized (and characterizes) deeply the Jewish view of the future, even in the professional or a commercial field.  We Jews do not have a static or fatalistic vision of the future. As my grandfather, z”l, who came from Syria to Buenos Aires without a penny in his pocket, said. “If today I work mopping floors, it does not mean that I will have to do this for the rest of my life”. He saw the possibilities of the future as wide open.
This is also the message conveyed by Tefila, prayer: If the future is already determined, why would I pray to Hashem and ask Him to cure a loved one who is dying? We pray because we do not believe in fate or destiny. We pray because we know that the future is God’s hand. It depends on His Will.
The future is not limited by a destiny. And Yosef understood this very well.

 



Yosef, his secrets for success. # 3. PROACTIVITY

פתחו לי פתח כחודה של מחט ואני אפתח לכם כפתחו של אולם
Yesterday we explained that one of the keys of Yosef’s success was his self-esteem. Yosef, despite having lived very traumatic experiences, always maintained a healthy dose of self-worth, which at the end helped Yosef to appear before Pharaoh and change his life.   Self-esteem should not be confused with vanity and arrogance. In fact, as we shall see later on, Yosef was extremely humble. When he interpreted Pharaoh’s dream, Yosef could have attributed it to his own wisdom, his superpowers, etc. However, Yosef repeated again and again that it was HaShem who reveled the interpretation, not him.
There is another very important element that helped Yosef to succeed: his proactivity.
When Pharaoh tells Joseph his dream, Yosef immediately explains that cows represent Egypt and wheat represent food. Pharaoh’s dream announces that seven years of plenty will be followed by seven years of famine.
Now, once Yosef explained the dreams to Pharaoh, his mission was over. Yosef was called solely fro that. However, after Yosef explained to Pharaoh his dream, he went on, almost without pausing to breath, and out of his own initiative he presented Pharaoh with an ambitious action plan to save Egypt’s economy (Gen. 41:33-35) “And now Pharaoh should find an intelligent and experienced man, and put him in charge of Egypt. And Pharaoh should assign officials to take 20% of the crops of the years of plenty. And gather a grain supply for the years of hungry.”
 Yosef was proactive.
There are two kinds of people: reactive and proactive individuals. Reactive people do nothing until something happens. They act by reaction. And when nothing happens, they stand still, passive waiting for something to happen. If Yosef had been reactive, after finishing the interpretation of Pharaoh’s dreams he should have gone. Most probably, he would have been taken back to the dungeon. But Yosef did not wait for an opportunity. Yosef created it. Being proactive means to actively take control of a situation and decide what to do, anticipating events. A reactive person is a “victim” of what happens to him and her. While a proactive person feels he is empower to change what happens, to make things happen.
Yosef did not wait for Pharaoh to ask him, “And in your opinion, young man, what should we do about this prophetic dream?” . Yosef knew that if he did not bring his proposal, Pharaoh would not have asked for his opinion. Yosef created the opportunity. And he was right.
Sometimes business is tough, for example, because customers do not come to buy. “Reactive” businessmen would continue waiting for customers, and would be ready to declare bankruptcy because no one comes to buy. “Proactive” businessmen, on the other hand, when there are no customers they would go and look for them. And if they do not find customers, as the book “Who Moved My Cheese” explains, they might change their line of business. Proactive people will never be passively waiting for opportunities to arise. The would be looking for opportunities. Or try to create them. Proactive people would develop new ideas and try new things. They are never idle. This applies to virtually all areas,  our professional life, our family relationships,  and even in the area of Shiddukhim (finding a spouse).
Also in spiritual matters it is expected of us to be proactive. For example, regarding Teshuba, when we seek to restore our relationship with God, we cannot be passive. Our Hakhamim told us that HaShem expects us to take the initiative. We should take a first step, even a small step. “If you open up for Me a small little door, even as small as the eye of a needle,  I’ll open a huge gate for You.”
Do not wait for the gates of glory and success to be opened for you. Go and open every good door you can. Even if, at the beginning, these doors look insignificant.   That is a Jewish definition of proactivity

 



YOSEF, and the secrets of his success. # 2. SELF -ESTEEM

 

# 2. SELF ESTEEM

Yesterday we mentioned that by studying in depth the story of Yosef we can easily identify what were the characteristics that allowed Yosef to succeed, despite the challenging circumstances he lived. Yosef reached the top, coming from the lowest level. He was a former slave, sentenced to life imprisonment for a sexual offense he did not commit. And yet, he reached the highest peak:  to be the second most important person in the mighty Egypt.

How did Yosef succeed?

We mentioned that Yosef had to cultivate his patience. And take the time to discover that many “bad” things that happen or “good” things that do not happen to us, may eventually result for our own good.

Another reason for Yosef’s success was Yosef’s self-esteem.

Yesterday we said that one of Pharaoh’s stewards returned to the court. He did not want to remember Yosef. Rather, he erased Yosef from his memory. Until one day Pharaoh had a mysterious dream that left him confused. The Egyptian monarch sought a solution, but no one among his soothsayers and counselors was able (or willing) to decipher Pharaoh’s dream. Now the steward did remember Yosef! And he told Pharaoh about the young Hebrew that had successfully interpreted his dream. Pharaoh sends for Yosef and brings him to his court. In the next scene,  Yosef stands before Pharaoh, as equals. He listens to the dream of the monarch. And unhesitatingly interprets it. Next, on his own, he offers Pharaoh an action plan to save the economy of Egypt in the coming years.

Fascinating!

Just a few hours ago Yosef was in prison, probably cleaning the floors and bathrooms of the dungeon. Before that, Yosef was sold from one master to another. He was enslaved for many years. Forced to perform any job asked of him. For years Yosef was abused and humiliated… Most individuals, in less challenging situations would probably feel demoralized. With no pride, dignity and, not to mention, self-esteem. I know people who lived humiliating situations which affected their self-esteem tremendously. I have a friend who was out of work for several months. And I remember how much it took for him to find another job. Why? Because every time he went to a job interview he looked defeated, humiliated, and without a minimum dose of self esteem. And nobody wants to hire such a person …  My friend had fallen into a self-destructive vicious circle. Those months without work had a very negative impact on his character, and that new “character” prevented him from progressing and moving forward.

What did Yosef do to maintain his self-esteem in the extreme circumstances he lived? What was his secret?

For Yosef, and for a Jew in general, self-esteem does not depend on “success” but on the effort involved. As Rabbi Noah Weinberg says, a Yehudi knows (or should know) that our personal responsibility is to do our best to achieve our goals. But the end results, if we did or did not achieve our goals, does not depend on us. It depends on God’s will. It is this EMUNA, knowing that there is Someone above me and above my endeavors, that determines the ultimate success of what I undertake, what sustains my self-esteem, regardless of the success I have or have not achieved. In the case of Yosef, ironically, his success did not facilitate his self-esteem. Rather, his self-esteem facilitated his success.

There are two elements that can destroy our self-esteem. First, when we think as they think in a materialistic and success-oriented society: that my own value depends on the success I have achieved, regardless of the quality of the effort I invested in the process. Only if and when I achieve my ambitious goals, I can feel good about myself. In this scenario, of course, 99% of people would suffer from very low self-esteem.

Secondly, what can destroy my self-esteem is when I know that I did not do enough. I was lazy. I did not act with integrity, etc. This feeling creates a “real” problem (which should be solved by changing course): real “guilt”. And there is probably nothing that destroys our self-esteem as much guilt ….

But when I know that I did my best to achieve my goals and I know that I acted with integrity, I should feel very good about myself, regardless of the final results.   For years, Yosef was able to maintain his self-esteem because he judged his own value for the effort he invested in everything he did. He knew that he had acted with integrity and honesty. He was a hard worker. He did everything in his power to succeed. And although he was a slave or a prisoner, that knowledge, that feeling about his own efforts, helped him to maintain his self-esteem at a high level. Yosef knew that success is never guaranteed. It is a divine prerogative. וכל אשר הוא עושה, ה’ מצליח בידו. The end results, Yosef knows, ultimately, depends on HaShem’s will.