THE MOMENT OF DEATH

When the pulse of his life stops, the human body –carrier of the soul– must be treated with the utmost respect and honor. The way to take care of the human body in the last moments of life, and immediately after, has been detailed by our religious tradition.

1. During agony, it is forbidden to move the body, to close the eyes of the patient or do anything that might accelerate death. It is also forbidden to speak any matter related to death or burial in the presence of the person nearing death, even if the patient is or seems to be unconscious. It is likewise forbidden to begin or even talk about any arrangements for the funeral or burial before his or her passing away.

2. At the very last moments of life, no men present should leave the room by any means, except those who could become physically or emotionally disturbed. Our tradition considers this moment as one of utmost solemnity. It is therefore a sign of respect for life to remain next to the person that will soon pass to the next world.

3. If the agonizing person is conscious, he or she needs to pronounce the Shema Israel and if possible the Viduy. This last prayer is the confession and repentance from any wrongdoings that he or she could have done in life, towards God and towards other fellowmen. If the dying person is unable to say these prayers by himself, another person can read aloud with him or on his behalf.

4. In Jewish tradition, the moment of death is determined by the interruption of the voluntary respiratory activity. In recent times most Rabbinic authorities identify death with this state: irreversible clinical death. When the cerebral cortex is not anymore in control of the voluntary respiratory activity.

5. In cases where the patient is in a state of clinical death, a competent rabbinic authority should be consulted for any type of procedure. A rabbinical authority should be also consulted for matters related to DNR signing, administration of medicines or treatments that could accelerate death like morphine drip, in cases of terminal illness, etc.

6. In the Jewish tradition, the body should be buried in its entirety, and in the best possible preserved condition. Therefore, autopsy is not usually allowed. One must notify the medical and legal authorities about this religious norm, so to avoid this proceeding. Should there be any complications, please consult a competent rabbinic authority.

7. The eyes and the mouth of the deceased should be closed by his children, relatives or friends who are present at the last moments. Also the face of the deceased should be covered with a bed sheet.

8. The body should not be moved until it is transferred for the burial, except for a matter of honor or respect, for example, to straighten it if it’s in a position or a place which not be appropriate.

9. During the time prior to the funeral, people’s behavior must be at par with the circumstances. One must not mention any form of criticism about the deceased. It is only proper to speak about the virtues of the deceased or the arrangements for the funeral.

10. One should notify to the Chebra Kadisha (community institution that makes all arrangements for the cemetery) to make arrangements for the funeral. It is also important that from the moment of death until the burial the body be watched over. If possible, a shomer (guard) should be requested from the Chebra Kadisha or the community assistance to have someone with the body until the burial.. This custom was established by the rabbis to protect the integrity of the body. In ancient times they were afraid it could get desecrated by rodents, animals, etc.



The Kaddish

1. As it has been already explained, it is a special merit to have the Tefilot taking place in the house of mourning during the first seven days. However, if it is not possible to get a Minyan in the house, the Abel must participate in the Tefilot in any of the available daily Minyanim of the community. The main participation of the mourner in the Tefilot is by reciting the Kaddish.

2. With the exception of the Kaddish said at the cemetery (Kaddish deHu atid, which is said by the Abelim only at the time of burial) the Kaddish has no direct reference, to death, mourning or tragedy. The main theme of the Kaddish is the Greatness of God, who conducts the entire universe, and especially each individual human being, with careful supervision. In the Kaddish we admit that no matter how much we try to praise God, His true praise will always lie beyond our comprehension. The Kaddish ends with a petition to God to grant us peace, livelihood, good health and forgiveness.

3. The Kaddish is said several times during the services. The mourners normally say two Kaddishim: one is call “Al Israel” and the other one: “Yehe Shelama”. Kaddish Yehe Shelama is also known among Ashkenazim as Kaddish Yatom, the Kaddish said by the orphans. In our community, Kaddish Yehe Shelama it is said two times in Shacharit (the morning prayers), at the end of the services, before “Kave” and after “alenu leashabeach”, and one time in Mincha (afternoon prayer) and ‘arbit (night prayer), before Alenu Leshabeach.

4. Kaddish al Israel, also known as Kaddish deRabanan, includes an additional paragraph in honor of Torah Scholars and their students. This Kaddish is said after a Mishna or any other rabbinical text is studied or recited, and/or after a debar Torah (words of Torah). In Sephardic communities, this Kaddish is usually introduced by the recitation of the Mincha “Rabbi Chananya ben Aqashia omer….”.

5. The Abelim for father or mother say the Kaddish for twelve months, counting from the moment of burial. However, at the end of the eleventh month, the recitation of the Kaddish is interrupted. There are some communities in which this  interruption takes one or for two weeks, and others who suspend the Kaddish for the whole twelfth month. In some communities, the Kaddish ‘al israel is still recited by the mourners, even when no other Kaddish is recited.

6. When reciting the Kaddish all the Abelim should say it in unison, following those who said it slower. So not to leave behind those who do not say it as fast. The Kadish is recited exclusively in the presence of a Minyan, a quorum of 10 men older than 13 years, but a boy younger than 13 can say Kaddish for his parents together with other Abelim or with the Chazan.

7. Women do not say Kadish. In case that the deceased did not have sons, or that there are only daughters left, a third-person can be given the duty to recite the Kaddish. When it is not possible for a male to say Kaddish, or when a woman wants to elevate the memory of her loved one, there are other ways to honor the memory of the deceased that Rabbis would recommend. Studying Torah or hosting a class of Torah is probably one of the highest honors one can pay in Jewish tradition.



ZEBED HABAT: Naming a baby girl (Part 2/2)

In our community it is customary to name the newborn with an Hebrew name and an English name.  Sometimes these two names are related, like Rebecca and Ribka. Sometimes both names are identical in English and in Hebrew, like: Daniel or Gabriel. And sometimes there is no relationship between them.

While the choosing of the English name is done more or less arbitrarily, the Hebrew name is normally given after the grandparents. (When more babies come, BH, they are named after the great-grandparents and so on). The source of this custom is literally pre-Abraham Abinu. The first recorded case of a man that named his son after his father was Terach, Abraham’s father. His father’s name was Nachor and he named one of his sons Nachor (Thanks to Mr Edward Dilamani for sharing with me this insight!).

In most Sephardic communities the first son or daughter is named after the father’s parents and the second son or daughter after the mother’s parents.

Parents should definitely keep away from asking mystical rabbis what Biblical names have “good luck or bad luck” or which “combination of names brings good luck or bad luck”. Those are mere superstitions and foreign practices that could bring unnecessary conflicts into the families. One example of a real case that happened in our community. A naive mother was told by a rabbi: Don’t name your newborn daughter “Rachel”, because Rachel (the Biblical Rachel imenu) died young”. Obviously, this absurd consideration does not make absolutely any sense. But the impressionable mother was now very scared for her daughter’s well-being and she refused to name her child after her own mother, Rachel, because of that ridiculous advice, causing a lot of pain to her mother.

Our Rabbis suggested in the case of Aharon and his sons, Nadab and Abihu, that actually when not naming one’s parents–especially when they have asked or wanted to be named–we should feel a great deal of consternation, for the consequences of depriving our parents from this high honor.

Click  HERE to learn the differences between Sephardim and Ashkenazim when naming their babies after their parents.  



ZEBED HABAT: Naming a newborn baby girl (Part 1/2)

 

The name-giving of the daughter –known in Sephardic communities as Zebed haBat and in some Ashkenazi communities as Shabua haBat— takes place usually during the first Shabbat or within the first month after the birth of a girl.
As to the ceremony, there are many different traditions. I describe the ceremony according to Siddur bene tzion (there are no talmudic sources for it).
1.The father is invited to the Torah and after he finishes his Aliya a prayer is recited:
2. Before the prayer, the Chazan or the Rabbi recites a verse from Shir haShirim (The Song of Songs 2:14) praising the pristine beauty and the sweet voice of the baby girl. If she is the first girl to be born in the family, another verse (6:9) is added, describing her as a unique beautiful creature, the new Princess of the home.
3. Then, the name is giving:
“He Who blessed our mothers Sara and Ribka, Rachel and Lea, the prophetess Miriam, Abigayil and Queen Esther, the daughter of Abichayil, may He bless this beloved girl and let her name in Am Israel be known as:…   (here her Hebrew is pronounced and the name of her father: for example, “Rachel bat Abraham”. In many communities they mention the name of the mother as well, i.e., Rachel bat Abraham and Sara…)… with good mazal and in a time of blessing. May she grow up with good health, peace and tranquility; and may her father and her mother merit to see her joy and her wedding, with sons, prosperity and honor; and may they be healthy and fresh, and live until an old age; and so may this be His will, and let us say, Amen!”.
4. In many Sephardic communities the mother is also welcomed to say from her seat the thanksgiving blessing (Birkat haGomel)  .
I dedicate today’s Halakha of the Day to my new grandchild, ‘Michal’, the daughter of David and Keren Bitton. She was born in Shanghai, China.  


Pidyon haBen: The ceremony

 

Pidyon haBen is the ceremony by which the father redeems his first born son from the Cohen. The Pidyon takes place after 30 days from the day of birth. As we have explained, there are certain conditions that need to be met in order to perform the Pidyon ( see here).

If possible, one should arrange to have a Minyan for the Pidyon.
The parents dress themselves and their son as they would do for a holiday.
The father brings 5 sheqels of silver.
The Cohen asks the mother if her son is the bekhor. If the mother says “yes”, the Cohen proceeds to recite a text (ze haben bekhor hu…) where he quotes the Mitzva of redeeming the first born and asserts that, indeed, the parents have expressed their will to redeem him (veabikha veimekha mebaqeshim lifdotekha...).
The Cohen then asks the parents:  “Which would you rather have-your firstborn son, or the five coins which you are obligated to give me for the redemption of this your firstborn son?”
To which the father answers:  “I want, my firstborn son, and here you have five coins which are required of me for the redemption”.
Then the father says the blessings: …‘al pidyon haben. and … shehecheyanu.…   And he places in front of the Cohen the 5 shequels.
The Cohen takes the coins and says: “I’ve received the 5 silver coins for the redemption of your son. He is now redeemed according to the law of Moshe and Israel (kedat moshe veIsrael)”.  The Cohen blesses the child, placing his hands over his head.  At the end of that blessing the Cohen also blesses the parents and wish them to merit to fulfill all the Mitzvot of the Tora.
The Cohen can keep for himself the 5 shequels, or give it back to the parents, if the Cohen wishes to do so.
Hebrew text of the Ceremony of Pidyon haBen (Sephardic)

Video of a Ceremony of Pidyon haBen in Manchester, England (Ashkenazi)

 

 



Pidyon haBen: when does it take place?

Previously, we explained the Mitzva of Pidyon haBen (redeeming the first born male) and in which circumstances is done.
Today we will discuss when does the ceremony of Pidyon takes place?
In the Tora says: (Numbers 18:16) ufduyav miben chodesh tifde... ( from a month old, you shall redeem them…), which means that the Pidyon is done only after the baby is one-month old.  The Pidyon is celebrated on the thirty-one day from birth.
The ceremony is done at night, when the day thirty-one begins. According to some opinions the Pidyon should be made specifically during the day (Shakh). In Sephardic communities, however, the Pidyon is done normally at night.
To establish the day thirty-one, we consider as day number one, the day of birth.
It is essential to know, therefore, the exact time the baby was born to determine what was the day of the week the baby was born.   The date of the Pidyon would always fall four weeks and two days after the day of birth. If the baby was born on a Monday morning, for example, the Pidyon will take place on Tuesday night, since for the Jewish calendar Tuesday night is considered Wednesday. (As it is well known, the new day in the Hebrew calendar begins after the sundown of the previous day).
Because all these considerations and other technical details, it is highly recommended to speak with a Rabbi to set the exact day of the Pidyon ceremony.


Pidyon haBen. How frequent is it?

Last week we explained the Mitzva of Pidyon haBen, and why the first born males have to be redeemed from a Cohen.
The Pidyon HaBen applies only to males (women were not bound to the service of the Tabernacle and Bet haMiqdash).
To be redeemed, the baby must be a bekhor, a natural-born-first-born-boy, who “opened his mother’s womb” (peter rechem). Therefore, if his mother have previously given birth to a baby girl, the boy who is born after her is not considered a first-born.
If the mother had a miscarriage or an abortion, the first-born is not considered a bekhor. This is when the miscarriage occurred after the third month of pregnancy. However, if the miscarriage occurred during the first 40 days of pregnancy, redemption is required. If it occurred after forty days, but before the fetus developed distinguishing physical characteristics, redemption of the first-born is still required, but the ritual berakha said by the father is omitted.
The bekhor, has to be born naturally (peter rechem). Therefore, if the first born is a boy, but he was born via C-section, he is not considered a naturally born bekhor and he is not redeemed.
Also, if the father or the mother are Cohen the Pidyon is not performed. And lastly, if the mother or father are Levites (levy), the Pidyon is not done. Why? Because the Levites are still obliged to assist the Cohanim in Divine service, andcannot be redeemed from this religious obligation. Levites remain irredeemably to this day, and are expected to report for duty as soon as B’H our Bet HaMiqdash will be rebuilt.
All these conditions mean that Pidyon haben is rather the exception, not the rule. It happens in approximately in 35% of all first time births.
ISRAEL TODAY
This is a rare video, of Benjamin Netanyahu (he was called then “Ben Nitay”) when he was student in MIT, and 28 years old. It is remarkable to see that the issues that concerned Israel today have not changed a lot, and that Mr, Netanyahu has maintained his consistency since 1978…
Don’t miss it: Click here


Understanding the Mitzva of redeeming the first-born son

In Biblical times, the first-born males would be consecrated to the service of God, assisting the priests (similar to what Channa did with his son Shemuel). That was the tradition among the Jews and even among other nations, like the Egyptians, Babylonians. etc. Once the Tora was given to Am Israel, Aharon and his descendants were granted the Priesthood. They serve HaShem in the Mishkan (mobile sanctuary in the dessert or tabernacle) and later on in the Bet haMikdash. Following the ancient custom , the first-born males should have been appointed to assist the Kohanim. God Almighty, however, consecrated the tribe of Levi to assist the Kohanim. The Leviim were then responsible, for example, of assembling, transporting, maintaining the Tabernacle and many, many other chores related to the Sanctuary and its service. At the time the Leviim were appointed, the Israelite first-born males were ‘released’ from serving in the Sanctuary, however, they had to be formally redeemed by his parents from a Kohen.
This is a Biblical commandment, found in Bamidbar (numbers)18:15 (“You must redeem every first born…”).
The redemption is performed by given to a Kohen five silver coins, in accordance with the instructions given by the Torah in the next verse, in Bamidbar 18:16 “You should redeem them at the redemption price of five sheqels of silver“.
The equivalent weight of the five sheqalim is a 96.1 grams of pure silver (Rab Hayim Nae). The custom, however, is to round up the number to 100 grams of silver.
In our days, the Israeli government issues a silver coin, weighting 20 grams each, to be used for this Mitzva.


The celebratory meal

The berit mila is one of the most important and joyous events in the life of the parents and family of the newborn baby.
 
The ceremony is always followed by a se’uda: a festive meal or banquet. This banquet is considered a se’udat mitzva, i.e. by taking part of this meal, we fulfill a Mitzva.
 
The Rabbis indicated, therefore, that the participation in this meal is not optional but virtually mandatory. Rama (rabbi Moshe Isserles), in his notes to the Shulchan Arukh asserted that one who does not participate of this important banquet ‘should be banned from heaven’. That is why in the Ashkenazi communities, the hosts are very careful not to ‘invite’ formally any guest to the Berit Mila, because if they are invited and do not come to the seuda it could be considered as if they rejected this Mitzva, and would be under a heavenly ban. In the Ashkenazi communities, then, the tradition is that people are not formally invited to the Berit Mila. The hosts just announce publicly the date and place where the berit mila will take place (pitche teshuba).
 
Because this banquet is not a regular meal, but the fulfillment of a Mitzva, people who are in mourning, after the shiba (the first seven days of mourning) are allowed to participate of the ceremony and the meal (when no music is played at the banquet). According to rabbi Refael Pinchasi (chayim vechesed), before thirty days (sheloshim) the mourner participates of the ceremony, but he should not participate of the banquet.
 
There are many different Minhagim (customs) on this issue. Rama, for example, says that during the twelve months, the mourner should not take part of any meal outside his house (YD 393), even if is a se’udat mitzva. Each one should know and follow his or her community’s traditions.
 

 

 

 



BERIT MILA: The steps of circumcision. Metzitza.

Previously (see here ) we’ve explained the first three steps of the Berit Mila:

1. Sterilization,
2. Removal of the foreskin (circumcision) and
3. peri’a or removal of epithelium.
The fourth step is the Metziza, sucking the blood from the circumcision wound. The ritual of Metzitzah is found the Mishna, Masekhet Shabbat (19:2) as one of the steps involved in the circumcision rite.
Modern rabbis (Chatam Sofer) have observed that the rationale for the Metziza is hygienic.
According to Rabbi Mordechai Halperin, this action lowers the internal pressure in the tissues of the organ, in the blood vessels of the head of the organ and in the exposed ends of the arterioles that have just been cut. Thus, the difference between the pressure in the blood vessels in the base of the organ and the pressure in the blood vessels at its tip is increased.
In modern days, as our awareness of infections and sterilization procedures have increased, the rabbis dissent regarding the right procedure for the Metziza.
Some rabbis, notably Rabbi Sinai Schiffer of Baden, Germany, states in his Sefer Mitzvas Hametzitzah that most Russian (Lithuanian) rabbis categorically prohibit Metzitzah with a sponge etc. and require it to be done orally.
Most Modern Orthodox Rabbis, however, recommend to use a sterilized glass which fulfills the same mission and eliminates the risks of infections, herpes, HIV, etc.
Our own rabbi Eliyahu ben Hayim (Shelita), also recommends the Metzizta be done using a sterilized glass tube.


Click here to read the statement of the Rabbinical Council of America on the issue of Metzitza.