After the Ketuba is read, it is signed by two witnesses. The role of the witnesses is obviously witnessing to the marital status of the couple when necessary. In this respect, the requirement of the presence of witnesses in a Jewish wedding is similar to the requirement of witnesses in any other legal, religious or secular events and ceremonies. Most states in the United States, for example, require the presence of two witnesses in a civil marriage (though in some states, like California, you can have a private wedding without witnesses).

In Jewish law, witnesses play another very important role. The witnesses actually validate the marriage. Technically speaking, the presence of a rabbi is not a requirement sine-qua-non for the validity of a Jewish marriage, as it is for other religions, or as it is the presence of a judge in a civil marriage. In theory, all that is needed for a Jewish couple to be considered legally married is the presence of two witnesses during the key moments of the ceremony (see below). The witnesses act as “notaries” who validate and give a public (as opposed to private) status to the marriage ceremony. Without the presence of two witnesses, a ceremony of Jewish marriage is invalid, even if a rabbi was present.

The presence of witnesses is required twice during the ceremony:

(1) qiddushin: When the groom gives the bride the ring, saying: “Behold you are consecrated to me as my wife, by this ring, according to the law of Moses and Israel.”

(2) Ketuba: When the Ketuba is accepted by the bridegroom through the qinyan. The two witnesses also sign the Ketuba.

Although halakhically not necessary, in many communities it is customary for those who act as witnesses of the act of qiddushin to be also the witnesses of the qinyan and sign the Ketuba.

According to what we have explained earlier, that the witnesses actually validate the marriage ceremony, the reader will understand that one of the most important responsibilities of the rabbi who presides the wedding ceremony, perhaps the most critical responsibility, is to select the witnesses. Because if a witness is not suitable to act as such, the marriage is not valid.

We will see now some rules related to the assignation of the witnesses.

a. How many witnesses are needed? In the wedding ceremony two witnesses are needed. This is the general rule not only in the case of marriage but also for almost all legal acts (there are very few exceptions where the testimony of one witness is sufficient, for example, aguna). The rabbi who presides over the ceremony is in charge of assigning the witnesses, and he would usually ask the groom to reassign the witnesses he chose “to the exclusion of any other witness.” This is necessary because if someone were to act on his own as an additional eyewitness, and he is unfit to be a witness (for example, a relative of the bride or groom) the entire testimony and the wedding itself will be invalidated. That is why the groom has to assign explicitly the witnesses, usually by saying, atem tihyiu ‘eday, excluding any other person from functioning as an additional witness.

עד שבא שמעון בן שטח ותיקן שיהא כותב לה: כל נכסי אחראין
לכתובתה
כתובות פ”ב

Yesterday, we explained that the Ketuba is similar to a marriage insurance. Which means that if the marriage is ח”ו dissolved, the Ketuba establishes the sum of money that the husband needs to pay his wife as a compensation. The function of the Ketuba therefore, is to protect the wife. While without a Ketuba a divorced women would be left with nothing (that was the case, by the way, in most gentile civilization up to modern times) the Ketuba insured that this would not happen to a Jewish woman. And at the same time, as the rabbis had explained, the Ketuba served as a powerful deterrent for husbands, lest they decide to divorce their wives in the heat of the moment. Knowing that he has taken upon himself a big financial responsibility, would make the husband think again and avoid impulsive decisions.

To make this point even stronger, the rabbis made a very important addition in the text of the Ketuba. In the beginning, the Ketuba was closer to a “mohar”, a gift or inheritance that the husband would willingly leave to his wife. This created a situation in which many women would remain single because they were scared to be left with nothing. That is why, at the end of the text of the Ketuba we have a clause to insure the collection of the Ketuba’s value in case the husband does not have enough cash or liquid assets to cover the value of the Ketuba. This clause was established by Rabbi Shimon ben Shatah (120-40 BCE). Rabbi Shimon was credited with the actual making (or remaking) of the Ketuba שבת טז: שמעון בן שטח תיקן כתובה לאשה , in other words, he made from the Ketuba a collectable debt, instead of a voluntary gift or inheritance. Thus, after the final amount of the compensation is calculated, the Ketuba mentions that all properties (real estate or qarqa’) and possessions (portable goods or metaltelim) of the husband are mortgaged to this Ketuba. The groom pledges to pay for the Ketuba even “from the shirt that he is wearing on his shoulders”. Accordingly, if the husband does not have the actual money to compensate his ex-wife or his widow, his assets could be seized by the Bet Din (the Rabbinical court of Law) to pay the value of the Ketuba.The groom also pledges that the the Ketuba is binding on his heirs (who might not necessarily be the children of his wife), during his lifetime, and after it.

The Ketuba is then signed by the witnesses. But before that, the Ketuba is formally accepted by the husband by a legal procedure called qinyan. The qinyan is performed as a barter (qinyan sudar or ḥalifin), i.e.,an exchange by which goods or services are exchanged for other goods or services. The Rabbi who presides the wedding gives the groom an item, normally a handkerchief or a pen or any other item, except food or coinage. Upon receiving that item the groom declares: “qibbalti ‘alay beqinyan…”, which means, “I formally accept upon myself… all the obligations of the Ketuba” . By lifting the item he received, the groom acquires that item and in exchange he grants the rights of the Ketuba to his wife.

Once the qinyan is done, the Ketuba, which is written from the point of view of the witnesses, says: VEQANINAN… “And we have acquired (i.e., witnessed the procedure of acquisition ) this Ketuba from the groom…. to the bride… and we attest that all is valid and confirmed (sharir veqayam)”. These last words are a rabbinical formula to indicate that the document has ended, so that nothing else can be added to it except the signature of the two witnesses.

As we have previously explained, the Ketuba is the document that records the obligations of the Jewish husband toward his wife. The text of the Ketuba is composed of three parts:

1. First, the Ketuba states the date and place of the wedding and the names of the bride and groom (see here).

2. The duties of the husband while he is married to his wife. We have summarized them by mentioning the three main Biblical obligations (see this).

3. The financial obligations that the Jewish husband undertakes towards his wife, particularly the monetary compensation that the wife would eventually receive in case, God forbid, the marriage is disolved. This part of the Ketuba is actually the most important and the longest part (approx. 75% of the whole text) of the Ketuba. The Ketuba mentions that the husband insures his wife with a compensation in case the marriage is dissolved (=divorce or death of husband). The amount of this compensation is calculated based on the following three elements.

1. Iqar Ketuba or the basic sum of the Ketuba

2. The Nedunya, or dowry

3. The Tosefet or tosafot, or additions to the main sum.

IQAR KETUBA: This is the amount of money determined by Jewish law as the minimum compensation that the wife is entitled to receive from her husband in case of dissolution of the marriage. This compensation varies if the wife is single or if she has been previously married. There is a discussion among the rabbis if this compensation is of a Biblical (Rashi) or of a Rabbinical (Maimonides) origin. This amount, also called mohar, consists of “two-hundred zuz”. Although the current monetary value of two hundred zuz is a matter of discussion among scholars, in the times of the Talmud, two hundred zuz was the amount a person needed to maintain himself or herself during a year (food, clothing, lodging, etc). In other words, “two hundred zuz” is a basic year’s salary.

NEDUNYA: The second element that compose the Ketuba is the nedunya, often translated as dowry. The nedunya includes the valuables and assets that the wife brings into the new family. The Ketuba mentions as examples: silver and gold articles, jewelry, house-utensils, bedding, etc. These articles are mentioned explicitly to show that the wife is not coming into the marriage empty handed. Technically speaking, the husband has the right to trade or use the value of the dowry as he sees fit, but he still accepts responsibility for losses. These assets become for the husband “iron sheep” (tson barzel), which in Talmudic jargon means that his financial responsibility toward them will never expire. If the marriage is dissolved, it is his responsibility to restitute the dowry or the value of the dowry to his wife.
Now, regardless of how much valuables the bride brings into the marriage as her dowry, the ancient custom is to register the dowry at the fixed sum of one hundred pieces of silver (me-a zequqim dekesef), which according to some opinions in today’s market value it will worth around $17,000. Why does the Ketuba register a fixed amount and not the amount that each bride brings into the family? This uniformity of the value of the nedunya is established to avoid any distinctions between a rich and a poor bride, and prevent embarrassment or ostentation. Thus, no matter what the actual value of what the bride brings into her marriage is, the husband obligates himself to eventually pay her back this fixed amount.

TOSEFET: The third component of the monetary compensation of the Ketuba is the tosafot or voluntary increments. There are two increments which are normally added in the Ketuba. First, the increment to the dowry, which is traditionally the equivalent of the dowry itself. In other words, the husbands duplicates the value of the dowry and commits himself to restitute his wife 200 zequqim dekesef, instead of 100.
Second, there is an increment to the main Ketuba that the husband promises his wife. In some communities they would specify the amount of this increment in local currency. In other communities, the tradition is to state that the husband adds an increment to the main Ketuba, without specifying any amount of money. This “tosefet ketuba”, a voluntary increment to the mandatory basic financial obligation, is usually set following the local customs.

As the reader can see, the sum of money mentioned in the Ketuba is not related to any money the husband “pays for his wife” or to her family to take her as his wife. The Ketuba is the equivalente of a marriage insurance, by which the husband commits that in case of dissolution of the marriage, he will pay his wife the main sum of the compensation (iqar ketuba), restitute her dowry, and pay the additional increments or additions, following the local custom.

The second part of the Ketuba states the obligations of the husband towards his wife. The groom declares to his bride that he is taking her legally as his wife “according to the law of Moses and Israel”, implying that he accepts all the responsibilities of a Jewish husband.

The Tora established the three main duties of the husband towards his wife

1. she-erah: to provide his wife with sustenance

2. kesutah:  to supply her clothing and lodging

3. ‘onatah:  to cohabit with her.

1. she-erah.   The first responsibility of the husband is tomaintain his wife financially.  This is the first duty stated in the Tora  (Exodus 21:10), in the language of the rabbis is called “mezonot” (food, i.e., alimony/aliment= food).

A few illustrations from Maimonides

MT, Ishut 12:10-11: The husband is obligated to supply food for his wife and children according to his material means. A husband who is poor should provide only two meals a day, and a wealthy husband should make provisions for having nutritious foods (meat, fish, or whatever is the local custom) every day.

MT, Ishut 12:16-17: If a husband leaves his home for a business trip overseas (in ancient days people would travel overseas for months or years, with virtually no possibility of communication) and the wife is left with no means to obtain food, the rabbinical court might confiscate and sell the husband’s assets to provide food for his wife and children, provided that at least three months have passed since the husband left. It was assumed that thoughtful husbands would leave sustenance for their families for at least 90 days.

Illustrations:

Clothes: The husband has to supply his wife with appropriate clothing for each season of the year. Regarding the quality of this provision, the rule is that the husband must provide his wife with a level of clothing according to: a) what the husband can afford, b) the local custom, e.g., the social needs of a woman who lives in a farm are not the same as the needs of a woman who lives in a city (Maimonides, MT ishut 13:2). This category also includes the husband’s obligation to provide his wife with non-essential items (13:4) such as jewelry, cosmetics, etc. at a level which results from the balance between the husband’s financial possibilities and the wife’s social needs (=local custom).

Place of residence: The place of residence is sometimes determined and written in the Ketuba, if husband and wife agreed upon it in advance.  If the husband wishes to change his usual place of residence, the wife is expected to move with him. Some exceptions are: 1. A disreputable neighborhood (13:15). The wife can refuse to move to a violent or corrupt place. 2. Israel: if the couple lives in Israel, the wife can refuse to move out of Israel or if they live in Jerusalem, she can refuse to leave Jerusalem. (13:19-20).

3. ‘onatah. In Biblical Law, conjugal rights are explicitly granted to the wife. The Tora indicates in Exodus 21:10 that the husband “must not deprive his wife from her food, her clothing and her marital rights”.  In the words of Maimonides, a husband’s consistent refusal to engage in sexual relations, deliberately  or maliciously, is considered a transgression of a Biblical prohibition, and the woman has legal grounds to ask for her divorce, claiming the full amount of the financial compensations established in the Ketuba. This  does not apply, however, when the reason for the husband’s abstinence is, for example, health-related.  (Maimonides MT, ishut 14:7). The Talmud also discusses the expected frequency of the husband’s marital duties based on the husband’s occupation (14:1).

Although not based on a specific Biblical statement, the wife is also expected to fulfill her conjugal duties. A wife who without a justified reason or maliciously (kede letsa’aro) permanently denies from her husband his conjugal rights is called a rebellious wife (moredet) and, in case of divorce, she is not entitled to any compensations (14:9).

It is important to clarify that the primary purpose of Mitsvat ‘ona is to reinforce the loving bond between husband and wife.  In a separate Mitsva, the Tora indicates the commandment of having children (peru urbu). This Mitsva, ‘ona, is independent from the intention of procreation. Illustration: when conception is not possible, such as during pregnancy or when the woman is under a permissible form of birth control, or when the wife is no longer able to bear children, the couple is still expected to have an active marital life.

In honor of  the wedding of Orit Bitton and Adam Harari, BH  in Yerushalayim עיה”ק

The word “Ketuba” means “document”. The Ketuba, in the strict sense of the word, is not a contract between husband and wife. It is a document that records the obligations of the husband towards his wife while married, and the provisions to ensure the economic well-being of the wife if the marriage is dissolved, or if the husband dies. In this sense, the Ketuba is more like a prenup or a “marriage insurance” where the beneficiary is the wife and the benefactor is the husband. The obligations of the wife towards her husband are not registered in the Ketuba. For this reason, the Ketuba is signed by two witnesses and by the husband, and it does not require the wife’s signature.

Now that we understand the essence of the Ketuba, we will explore it in detail.

The text of the Ketuba is divided into three parts, today we will see the first part.

DATE, PLACE, NAMES.

The Ketuba records in the first place all the basic information of the couple: the wedding date, the city and the state where the wedding is held, and the names of the bride and the groom.

If we would write the Ketuba today in Jerusalem, the first part of the Ketuba would say: “On the fourth day of the week (Wednesday), at 30 days of the month of Sivan, which is the first day of Rosh Hodesh Tammuz, in the year 5775 from the creation of the world, in the city of Jerusalem …. ”

Then, the Ketuba records the names of the bride and the groom. First, the groom’s name followed by his father’s name, for example, YOSEF BEN YAAQOB (Yosef son of Yaaqob), and then the family name. In the Ketuba we also record if the groom is Cohen o Levi.

Then we write the name of the bride and her father’s name and family name, clarifying whether he is Cohen or Levi.

In addition, especially outside Israel, the names are written also in the vernacular. For example, if the groom’s Hebrew name is YOSEF but everyone calls him “Joey”, in the Ketuba it will be written YOSEF DEMITQARE JOEY, i.e., “Yosef, also known as Joey”.

The names of the bride, the groom and their parents have to be written with extreme care. The rabbi who writes the Ketuba needs to know not only how to write the Hebrew names correctly but also, how to write the non-Hebrew names with Hebrew letters, which sometimes is difficult, because not all consonants or diphthongs in English have their exact correspondence in Hebrew (how do you write”Joey” in Hebrew letters?).

In the Ketuba we also write the marital status of the bride. If the bride is single the Ketuba would say “betulta”, unmarried (lit. virgin). In some communities, they simply write “kalata” which means “bride”. If the bride is a widow or a divorcee, the Ketuba would say “meterakhta” or “armelata” ,”divorced” or “widow”, in Aramaic, the language of the Ketuba.

Immediately after the ceremony of the giving of the ring (qiddushin) the groom wears a Talit (a prayer shawl). The custom is to use a new Talit, usually given to the groom by the bride. If it is still daylight time, the groom should recite two blessings: lehit’atef betsitsit and Sheheheyanu. If it’s already nighttime, he would recite only one blessing: Sheheheyanu.

According to rabbi Obadia Yosef, if the Hupa takes place during the day, the groom wears the Talit in the same way he wears it every morning: first, covering his head with it (‘atifa) and then, placing it on his shoulder. If the wedding takes place during the night, then the groom does not need to cover himself with the Talit.

After that, and in both cases, the talit is placed over (or “on”, depending on the custom ) the heads of the groom and the bride (Yalqut Yosef p. 136).

Before wearing the Talit, the groom pronounces the blessing Sheheheyanu. This is a blessing of praise to HaShem for the privilege of being able to live a particular new happy occasion. When the groom says this blessing for his new Talit, he has to bear in mind that he is also giving gratitude to HaShem for the merit of his new wife, his new home, etc.

Why does the groom use a Talit during the Hupa?

Rabbi Obadia Yosef mentions many reasons (and pesuqim, see Yalqut Yosef p. 132). One of them is that the Tora mentions the Mitsva of Tsitsit, next to the Mitvsa of marriage ( Debarim 22:12, marriage; 22:13, Tsitsit). It is interesting to notice that, because of this reason, whereas in Sephardic and German Jewish communities it is customary that a Jewish boy wears the Talit once he becomes Bar-Mitzva (or even before), in Eastern European Jewish communities it is customary for the Jewish man to begin wearing the Talit only after he gets married.

In his book “Made in Heaven” Rabbi Aryeh Kaplan mentions a very original reason. He explains that the Talit is given to the groom by the bride as a token of reciprocity for receiving a ring from him. “Just as the wedding ring symbolizes that she is bound to him, to the exclusion of all other men, the Talit symbolizes that he is bound to her, to the exclusion of all other women” .

After the groom wears the Talit and recites Sheheheyanu, the Ketuba is read.

Tomorrow, BH, we will begin to explain what a Ketuba is.

Previously, we explained that the Jewish wedding consists of two steps: Qiddushin and Hupa, which today are integrated into one single ceremony.

We will begin by describing the Qiddushin.

THE RABBI: There could be many Rabbis invited to participate of the wedding, but the bride and groom should appoint one Rabbi to be the mesadder qiddushin, the Rabbi who would preside over the ceremony. This Rabbi will be responsible for the order of the wedding and for all the legal aspects of the wedding. Among other things: 1. Verifying previous to the marriage the Jewishness of the bride and the groom. 2. Preparing and writing the Ketuba. 3. Appointing or approving the witnesses (this will be explained later on). etc. The Rabbi mesadder qiddushin recites the first two blessings, known as “birkat irusin”.

BIRKAT IRUSIN: Holding a cup of wine in his hand the rabbi would say first: “Bore Peri haGefen” (Blessed are You, HaShem, the Creator of the product of the vineyard). The main Mitsva of the wedding ceremony is “happiness”, i.e., to make the groom and his bride happy. Wine represents happiness, as it says in Tehilim (Psalms 104) “and wine would make man’s heart happy” (see video below for another original explanation). The second berakha says: meqaddesh amo Israel ‘al yede hupa bekiddushin. “Blessed are You HaShem, our God, Who consecrate us with His commandments … and allowed us to be married by the Hupa with the Qiddushin”, which is a blessing by which we praise HaShem for establishing in His Tora the institution of marriage, for the sake of preserving our morality and the sanctity of the Jewish family.

After reciting these two blessings, the Rabbi drinks from the wine, gives the cup of wine to the groom, and after the groom tastes the wine, the cup is given to the bride’s mother and she gives it to her daughter. One of the reasons that the mother, and not the groom, brings the cup to the bride, is that at this moment (the betrothal/qiddushin) the bride is still more “the daughter of her parents” than “the wife of her husband”.

THE RING: Once the Rabbi who presides the wedding pronounces the first two blessings, the ceremony of qiddushin takes place. The consecration of the bride is done by the means of a qinyan, a legal process by which the bride and the groom are officially engaged. Technically, this qinyan could be done in a different ways. For example, by the groom giving the bride a document (shetar) that states his intention to betroth her in accordance to Jewish Law. Alternatively, it could be done by the groom giving to the bride anything of a minimal value. However, in most communities the custom in our days is that the qinyan qiddushin is performed by giving a ring, he wedding band, to the bride (to the best of my knowledge, the only exception is the Syrian community in NY, where the qiddushin many times is done with a silver coin instead of a ring).
The ring to be used at the qiddushin should be plain without any stones or accessories. The ring needs to belong to the groom. This is the reason why he Rabbi would normally ask the groom about the ownership of the ring, making sure that the ring belongs to the groom, and he has not giving it yet to the bride, etc.
During the ceremony there is no exchange of rings between the bride and the groom. It is only the groom who gives a ring to the bride. The groom consecrates the bride as his wife, and the bride consecrates herself to the groom. Exchanging rings at the ceremony would be an imitation of a gentile ceremony. In many communities, however, the groom would wear his ring, if he wishes to do so, before the Hupa begins.

Maimonides explains that the institution of marriage is a Biblical innovation (MT Hilkhot Ishut 1:1). Before the Tora was given to the Jewish people, he says, a man would find a woman, bring her to his home and they would live together and bring children without any public commitment or formal ceremony. Also, since in ancient times there was no institution of marriage there was no formal process of divorce. If one of them wished to leave the family, he or she could do so at any moment.

The Tora established the Mitsva of marriage: when a man and a woman wish to live together, first, they should get married . This is learned from the Pasuq in Debarim 22:13 “When a man takes (=marries) a woman …” .

Jewish marriage is a ceremony of a public nature and therefore it requires the presence of two witnesses. It is also an accepted standard that, in normal circumstances, the wedding will be held in the presence of at least a Minyan, ten adult men.

The wedding consists of two steps: qiddushin (or irusin) and hupa (or nisuin). The first one, qiddushin is the formal and legal betrothal or engagement (not to be confused with the proposal/engagement we do today). The qiddushin is done mainly to seal the formal commitment to getting married. The qiddushin is performed by a legal process called qinyan (lit. acquisition) . The standard custom today is doing this qinyan by giving a ring to the bride. Although, in some Syrian communities, following a very ancient custom, the groom gives the bride a silver coin instead of a ring. When the groom gives the ring to the bride, he consecrates her saying: “Behold, you are consecrated to me (to be my wife ), with this ring, according to the law of Moshe and Israel”. Upon receiving the ring, the two are formally engaged. However, the couple still cannot live together. They will be considered formally married only after the Hupa.

It is very important to mention that in Talmudic and pre-Talmudic times, this first step of the wedding, or qiddushin, was celebrated usually one year before the actual wedding ceremony or Hupa took place. During that year between the qiddushin and the Hupa the couple was formally engaged but not married. They would still live each in his or her parents home. Still, the woman was considered me-orasa or formally betrothed. Thus, if the couple decided to disolve the qiddushin, the process of a formal divorce was required.

The year between the qiddushin and the hupa was consecrated to building the new house, preparing the wedding dresses, the food and everything needed for the Hupa and for the seven-days party which follows the Hupa (sheba berakhot). That year also served to strengthen and build up the relationship between the bride and the groom in the spiritual and emotional realms, in anticipation for their intimate life as husband and wife.

This year period between the qiddushin and the Hupa is not in practice anymore. In our days, the qiddushin is done under the Hupa, as part of the same ceremony. Why? There were many practical issues that demanded this change. For example, the persecutions Jews suffered in exile. Imagine if the groom had to run away to save his life. If that happened, the bride, who was now in a state of betrothed-but-not-married, will not be able to marry to someone else in the future because she needed now a GET, a formal divorce bill, from her groom. Because of this and similar circumstances, we do now the qiddushin and the Hupa at the same time.

Today, the Jewish wedding ceremony consists of the giving of the ring (qiddushin) and the Hupa. These two steps are now completely integrated, and most people would not know or realize that, formally, these are two different ceremonies.

In ancient times, a member of the wedding party was known as the shushbin. We find that when Samson (=Shimshon) was married, he took thirty young men to be the close members of his wedding party.  In Talmudic times, the wedding feast was often made as a communal meal and the attendees were called the shushbinim (plural of shushbin).