YITRO : Why Did Israel Deserve To Receive The Tora?

MOSHE’S HUMILITY

After their liberation from their Egyptian masters, the people of Israel faced several challenges: lack of water, food shortages, and, worst of all, a war: Amaleq’s attack. Of course, HaShem was with Israel, gave them water and food, and helped them to defeat Amaleq.

In this week’s Parasha, Yitro, there is an EXTRAORDINARY Pasuq (biblical verse) that, when read carefully, shows us one of the most wonderful qualities of our people. A virtue that might have contributed to our merit of receiving the Tora.

וישב משה לשפט את העם ויעמד העם על משה מן הבקר עד הערב

“And Moshe sat down to judge the people, and the people waited [to see] Moshe from morning till night “(Shemot 18:13)

Moshe judges the people, as an arbitrator or as a mediator, from morning till night. Then Yitro arrives and tells Moshe that he is not acting well and must delegate and assign more judges and minor courts. Moshe accepts the advice of his father-in-law and acts upon it. And if we stop to examine these words a little more carefully, we will discover something wonderful that will reveal to us the true character of Am Israel.

NO LAW, NO ORDER

In the history of mankind, many slaves rebelled against their owners and escaped into freedom. In the days of the Roman Empire (70 BCE), for example, the great gladiator Spartacus led the rebellion that allowed some 70,000 slaves to free themselves from Rome. But once they were free, the slaves “among themselves”, behaved with anarchy. The rebellion of Spartacus failed because there was no internal discipline. Everything was chaos, and the law of the jungle prevailed. With no Law and Order the rebellion collapsed.

Now let’s see again what our pasuq says. Just a few days ago the Hebrew slaves obtained their freedom. We are not talking about 100, 1,000 or 70,000 people. Counting women, the elderly and children, it is estimated that there were at least 3 million individuals. “Chaos” and “anarchy” was expected and predictable.

THE BEGINNING OF CIVILIZATION?

However, the individuals of the people of Israel decided to resolve their disputes and problems “among themselves” in an incredibly advanced and civilized way: they came to Moshe Rabbenu for mediation! Imagine two neighbors, two physically strong slaves, used to the violence of slavery and to solve their differences with their fists. The two neighbors have a problem: “This chicken is mine!” says one. “No, it is mine,” says the other one. Usually, in a society without law and order, the chicken will remain in the hands of the strongest! But incredibly, spontaneously and without Divine Instruction (there is no report of a Divine command as to how the people should resolve their internal conflicts), these slaves decided to settle their disputes in another way: waiting patiently in line, from early in the morning, for Moshe’s arbitration.

This might be the most relevant Pasuq of the Tora in regard to the exceptional virtues of the people of Israel.

THE BEST KEPT SECRET VERSE

And it leaves me thinking: So far, the Tora mentioned that HaShem was going to deliver Israel from Egypt; to take Israel as His people, and bring them to their ancestors’ land. But the Tora did not mention anything about HaShem giving them a Law…

Is this Pasuq hinting that Israel took the first step toward deserving the most extraordinary code of laws, the Tora, the law that comes directly from HaShem?

Something to think about

YITRO: What Do You See When You See The Pyramids?

In preparation for the Parashah that we will read tomorrow morning—Yitro—which describes the celebration of the Covenant between God and the Jewish people at Mount Sinai (Ma‘amad Har Sinai), and the presentation of the Ten Commandments as part of that covenant, we are analyzing the First Commandment:

“I am HaShem, your God, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of slavery.”

Yesterday we explained the first part of this verse. We noted that this commandment consists of accepting God as our Sovereign (Elohim) and reminds us of our commitment to conduct our lives according to His laws. We also clarified that, in Judaism, faith in God cannot be reduced to a verbal declaration; rather, it is expressed primarily through what we do about God—recognizing Him, loving Him, and obeying Him.

Today we will examine the second part of the verse:

“I am your God… who brought you out of the land of Egypt, from the house of slavery.”

God does not introduce Himself as “the Creator of heaven and earth,” but rather as the One “who brought us out of Egypt.”

Why?

CREATOR OR LIBERATOR?

First of all, by mentioning Egypt, it becomes clear that these Commandments are not of universal scope, but are directed specifically to the people who suffered slavery and were miraculously redeemed from it.

At this point, it is worth clarifying a common misconception. Many people assume that the Ten Commandments constitute a universal legal code. However, from a formal and technical perspective, the Bible identifies the Seven Noahide Laws as the universal moral code for all humanity. Four (or five) of those laws closely resemble commandments found in the Ten Commandments—prohibitions against murder, theft, idolatry, adultery and incest, and blasphemy.

This distinction becomes clearer when we consider historical context. The Seven Laws are associated with the covenant God made with Noah and his descendants—all humankind—after the Flood. The Ten Commandments, by contrast, are presented within the framework of a covenant with a specific nation, Israel, which formally commits itself not to ten laws, but to 613 commandments.

OUT OF PHARAOH’S JURISDICTION

There may be another reason why God introduces Himself as the One who brought Israel out of Egypt rather than as the Creator of the world.

This covenant takes place only seven weeks after the Exodus—less than two months after leaving Egypt. The Jewish people had lived for generations under Pharaoh’s rule. Pharaoh and his officers were the only authority they had ever known.

God reminds them that their situation has fundamentally changed. They are no longer in Egypt, no longer under Pharaoh’s jurisdiction.
“You do not have to obey him anymore. You are out of Egypt—in the desert, in no man’s land—now under Divine authority.”

To fully grasp the contrast between God and Pharaoh in this verse, we must remember that Pharaoh ruled through coercion, forcing his Jewish subjects to serve him. God, by contrast, offers the Jewish people a covenant—freely entered into—based on mutual responsibilities and commitments.

In this way, the Torah indirectly but unmistakably condemns slavery, tyranny, and the arrogance of those who impose their will by force upon others.

SELECTIVE MEMORY

Finally, let us consider why the verse explicitly describes Egypt as “the house of slavery.”

Even today, for many people—especially those who do not live in the Middle East—Egypt evokes images of grandeur and fascination: Giza and its pyramids, the Valley of the Kings, Tutankhamun, the Nile. At the time of the Torah, Egypt was already famous for its splendor, wealth, architectural achievements, and imperial power. It was the world’s superpower.

The Torah warns us against romanticizing Egypt.
“Remember,” it says, “that in that beautiful land you were slaves.”

The Greek historian Herodotus records that around 600 BCE—some 800 years after Moshe—a Pharaoh undertook massive construction projects. Herodotus reports that 120,000 slaves died during that endeavor. We have no historical record of how many Jews died building for Pharaoh in Moshe’s time (although a well-known Midrash relates that when bricks were lacking, the Egyptians used the bodies of Jewish children).

By describing Egypt as “the house of slavery,” the Torah guards us against selective memory. It teaches us that when we admire the pyramids, we must not forget the human cost at which they were built.

SUMMARY OF PARASHAT YITRO

The Advice of Yitro

Moshe’s father-in-law, Yitro, arrives at the Israelite camp in the desert and is informed by Moshe of the many miracles that God performed for the Jews in Egypt. Yitro offers sacrifices to God in gratitude and sees that Moshe is carrying the burden of judging the people and mediating in their disputes alone. Yitro suggests that Moshe establish a system of judges, selecting wise and just men, and delegate his responsibilities to them while only handling the most difficult cases. This would allow Moshe to spend more time teaching the Torah to the people. Moshe accepts Yitro’s suggestion and implements the judicial system before Yitro returns to his homeland.

The Proposal

Six weeks after leaving Egypt, the Hebrews arrive in the desert and camp at the foot of Mount Sinai. Moshe ascends the mountain and is told by God of a proposed pact between Him and Israel, where God will choose the Israelites as His protected people and the Jews will become a Kingdom of Priests and a Nation consecrated to God. Moshe conveys God’s proposal to the people, who agree, and they are told to prepare for the event by purifying and sanctifying themselves for three days. On the third day, thunder, lightning, and the sound of a shofar are heard from the top of the mountain, and Moshe leads the people there. God warns that only Moshe and Aharon should go up and reveals the Ten Commandments to all the people.

The Ten Commandments

Accept God as the Supreme authority
Do not believe in pagan gods or worship idols or images
Do not carry/use God’s name in vain
Observe the Shabbat
Honor your parents
Do not murder
Do not commit adultery
Do not steal
Do not bear false testimony
Do not covet the property of others

People Request Moshe’s Intermediation

Overwhelmed by the close encounter with God’s “voice,” the Israelites ask Moshe to serve as an intermediary between them and God. Moshe calms them down and agrees to be God’s spokesman.

No Images

God warns the people about making any images or visual representations of Him and reminds them that no image was seen when He revealed himself. The Parasha concludes with the command to erect a sacrificial altar made of stones, without using metal instruments or building steps on the ramp.

JERUSALEM AND THE FIGHTING ROOSTERS

My uncle, Hakham Yosef Faur, z”l, told me this story when I was a child.

One day, the Sultan of Turkey—the most powerful man on earth—summoned a rabbi and said to him:

“You Jews are few and weak. You have no country and no sovereign government. You have no soldiers and no army, and you are persecuted everywhere. How is it possible that you still believe in the prophecies that say you will one day return to Jerusalem? Jerusalem is the most important city in the world. Everyone desires it. We, the Ottomans, fought the Christians for centuries to rule this city. What you claim—to return to Jerusalem and govern it—is absurd… and arrogant. I want you to explain to me how, in your view, those prophecies could ever come true. And I do not want to hear about miracles. Explain it to me from a military, earthly, natural point of view.”

The sage thought for a few moments and replied:

“I need three days to prepare my answer. But first I must ask you something: if my arguments displease you or offend you, promise me that you will not punish me.”

The Sultan, intrigued, agreed.

Three days later, the rabbi returned to the palace and asked that a small cockfighting ring be prepared. He had brought five fighting roosters, which he had kept without food for two days, and also a small chick—weak and defenseless.

He placed the roosters and the chick inside the ring. Then he took a few grains of corn from his pocket and scattered them in the center.

Immediately, the roosters began to fight with incredible fury. They pecked at each other viciously, wounding one another without mercy. One by one they fell, exhausted and bloodied. The last rooster, covered in wounds, finally collapsed to the ground, unable to move.

Then, from a corner, the timid chick appeared. And with no rooster left to bother it, it calmly began to eat the corn.

The rabbi turned to the Sultan and said:

“Jerusalem is the corn. The great powers are the fighting roosters, violently battling one another to control it. They wear themselves down, they wound each other, and they destroy one another. And when they no longer have strength, the people of Israel—the smallest and seemingly most vulnerable nation—enter the scene like the timid chick… and in the end, they are the ones who take the corn.”

The Sultan remained silent. For he understood that there are peoples who do not rise from the ashes by the power of weapons, but by the power of Emuna, faith, and resilience.

KING DAVID’S JERUSALEM

“בּוֹנֵה יְרוּשָׁלַ‍ִם ה׳”

“HaShem will build Yerushalayim”

King David does not describe the building of the capital city as an ordinary act of construction. He does not attribute it solely to human effort, but to Divine intervention. The rebuilding of Jerusalem is a visible miracle.

More than forty years ago, I was a madrich (counselor) for youth groups from Mexico who arrived at the SEC (Sephardic Educational Center) in the Old City. I remember one morning when we were traveling by bus from the Old City to the shuk, together with Rabbi Baruj Garzón. As we stopped at a traffic light, the rabbi took the microphone and said to us:

“Look, look at the miracle that is right before your eyes!”

We all looked out the window, but we didn’t see anything special—only Arab workers building a small building.

Then the rabbi added:

“What you are seeing is a miracle. The very same hands that want to destroy this country are building it.”

I ❤️ ISRAEL: Embracing Jerusalem’s Chaos

Generally, we don’t come to Israel in January. My wife, Coty, and I usually arrive in July and enjoy the summer. This time, however, we came in winter to spend a few days with two of our children who live in Jerusalem. The cold is more noticeable, though nothing compared to New York, and there is also far more rain than in July.

It’s normal that when one returns to Jerusalem after a few months, the city feels different. New buildings appear, new services emerge, neighborhoods expand, and structures rise. This urban renewal is known in Israel as Pinui u’Binui (“demolition and reconstruction”): older buildings are torn down and replaced with modern ones, featuring new elevators, parking, green spaces, community areas, and safer residences. Each apartment includes a reinforced “shelter room,” built for emergencies. Traditional neighborhoods such as Katamon, Arnona, Talpiot, and Baka, where we are staying now, are being transformed almost beyond recognition.

JERUSALEM UNDER CONSTRUCTION

But new residential construction is not the main reason Jerusalem feels so unmanageable in January 2026. This time, the situation is far more severe. Jerusalem is simply impossible. Traffic is unbearable. A drive that should take ten or fifteen minutes, for example, from Baka to the train station, took me more than forty-five. Estimating arrival times has become meaningless. Road closures are everywhere, detours appear without warning, and streets seem to close overnight.

Even walking has become difficult. Central areas such as King George and Ben Yehuda are barely recognizable. On King George, walking is almost impossible: barriers line the streets, roads are split in half, and traffic lanes have been reduced. Where there were once four, now there is only one. Nothing flows naturally. There is no place in the city where movement, by car or on foot, feels smooth or continuous.

The question is inevitable: what is happening to Jerusalem?

JERUSALEM LIGHT RAIL

The main culprit behind the current balagan (= chaos) in the city is the construction of three new lines of Jerusalem’s light rail, the Rakevet Hakala. What began years ago as a single line, the Red Line, which today carries more than 170,000 passengers daily, is now expanding into a full urban rail network, including underground sections, crossing Jerusalem from north to south and from east to west.

At present, two new lines are under construction. The Green Line will include about 35 stations and span roughly 20 kilometers. The more ambitious Blue Line will stretch approximately 30 kilometers, with around 50 stations, connecting Ramot in the north with Gilo in the south. In addition, a Purple Line is also planned. Once completed, the system will be four times larger than the original one: more lines, more stations, and far more connections.

This is a massive infrastructure project, designed to allow millions of people to move across the city without relying on private cars. It explains the heavy, prolonged, and noisy construction that today makes Jerusalem feel “blocked.”

But Jerusalem is not blocked. Jerusalem is in the midst of a historic transformation.

JERUSALEM HOLY BALAGAN

What is Jerusalem preparing for? First, Yerushalayim is on track to become Israel’s most populous city, with more than one million residents. But there is something deeper as well. Jerusalem is preparing for the Geula: the rebuilding of the Beit HaMikdash, the coming of the Mashiach, and the return of millions of Jews from the Diaspora to Israel.

Thanks to this new infrastructure, once the Holy Temple is restored and the Jewish people are fully returned to their land, Yerushalayim will be ready to welcome comfortably and efficiently millions of families, at least three times a year, who will come on pilgrimage for Pesach, Shabuot, and Sukkot, just as in biblical times.

Seen from this perspective, the construction chaos, the unbearable traffic, and the endless street closures are no longer merely inconveniences. They become a powerful source of inspiration.

To watch Jerusalem rebuilding itself, preparing to serve once again as the spiritual capital of the Jewish people, and of the world, is the greatest national aspiration, one that for nearly two thousand years seemed unreachable and unimaginable. Until very recently, the Jerusalem that,

Barukh Hashem, we have today was a utopian, impossible dream.

I love the balagan of Yerushalayim. I happily and proudly embrace it, with tears of joy. Jerusalem is being rebuilt before our eyes. And it will be ready very soon, waiting for all of us to come.

Shabbat Shalom, from Yerushalayim.

SUMMARY OF PARASHAT BO

EIGHTH PLAGUE

Moshe goes to meet Pharaoh and warns him that if he does not allow the Hebrew slaves to leave, Egypt will be devastated by a plague of locusts. After Moshe and Aharon leave the palace, Pharaoh’s officials try to convince him to let the Israelites go before Egypt is destroyed. Pharaoh calls Moshe and makes him an offer: allow the Jews to leave, but leave their children in Egypt. Moshe rejects the offer, and Pharaoh then refuses to set them free. Moshe extends his hand, and a plague of locusts falls on Egypt, consuming all the vegetation. Pharaoh asks Moshe to pray to God to eliminate the locusts and assures him that he will let the Jews go. Moshe prays, and the wind carries the locusts out of Egypt, but Pharaoh, having freed himself from the locusts, does not keep his word.

NINTH PLAGUE:

Darkness descends on Egypt. The Egyptians had to be in virtual isolation for three days since they couldn’t see each other’s faces. But the darkness did not affect the area where the Jews lived. Pharaoh calls Moshe back and offers him a new concession: free the Hebrews, men, women, and children, but leave their cattle in Egypt to ensure they return. Moshe rejects the offer, and at this point, Pharaoh expels Moshe from his presence and threatens him: “for the day you see my face again, you will die.” Moshe tells Pharaoh that one more plague will befall Egypt, after which Pharaoh will release them from slavery unconditionally.

REPARATIONS

God instructs Moshe that the Israelites ask their Egyptian neighbors for gold and silver objects as compensation or reparation that in those times was granted to a slave when he was released. The Egyptians quickly gave the Hebrews items of great value, intending for them to leave so that the plagues would end. Moshe warns Pharaoh that at midnight, God will put to death all the Egyptian firstborns, including Pharaoh’s son, the heir to the throne.

THE PESACH SACRIFICE

God dictates his first Mitzvah to the children of Israel: to officially consecrate and announce the beginning of the lunar month, Rosh Chodesh, thus establishing the future Hebrew calendar. God also instructs Moshe that the Jews must take a lamb to sacrifice, roast, and consume along with matzah and bitter herbs before leaving Egypt. With the lamb’s blood, the Jews should paint the lintels and doorposts of their homes, so when the last plague affects the Egyptian firstborn, the Jewish firstborn who are inside these residences marked with blood will be protected by God. HaShem also indicates Moshe that future generations should remember this day forever, celebrating the Pesach festival for seven days, during which they may not eat or possess leaven (chamets).

TENTH PLAGUE

At midnight on Nisan 15, a plague kills the Egyptian firstborn, but God protects the Jewish firstborn. Egypt is terrified because they think that the God of the Jews will cause the death of all Egyptians. Pharaoh wakes up and has Moshe brought in and pleads with him to take the Jewish slaves out of Egypt, thereby implicitly granting them their freedom. The Egyptian citizens also pressure the Hebrews to leave as soon as possible. The Jews prepared their provisions: unleavened bread made with non-fermented dough because they had to go fast, and they did not have time to let the dough rise to make ordinary bread. The Israelites leave Egypt at noon on Nisan 15.

FIRST COMMANDMENTS

God instructs the Hebrews to celebrate Pesach in the future by offering a sacrifice and consuming it similarly to what they did in Egypt. There are other commandments that God gives, all related to the miraculous salvation from the plague that caused the death of the firstborn. 1. To consecrate the Jewish firstborn to Divine service. 2. Matsa should be consumed on Pesach night. 3. Every year on Pesach night, parents will tell the story of the Exodus from Egypt to their children. 4. The firstborn of domestic animals will also be consecrated or redeemed if they are animals unfit for consumption. 5. Jewish men should wear Tefillin, or phylacteries, on their heads and arms, little leather boxes containing four texts that allude to Israel’s love for God, expressed in the liberation from Egypt.

BO: My candidate for Darkness

Shemot 10:21, HaShem said to Moshe, “Stretch out your hand toward the sky so that darkness spreads over Egypt—darkness that can be felt. 22 Moses stretched out his hand toward the sky, and total darkness covered all of Egypt for three days. 23. No one could see anyone else or move about for three days….

This week’s Parasha describes the last three plagues that struck Egypt and ended up twisting the arm of Pharaoh, who ultimately freed the Jews from Egypt. I would like to write today about the Ninth Plague, choshekh “darkness.” First, to understand the nature of this plague, and second, to examine the function of this and the previous eight plagues in the context of the story of the Exodus. If you are a Harry Potter fan, you might feel a little disappointed about the plagues. Moshe is not coming on a flying carpet to see Pharaoh. He is not transforming the Egyptian monarch into a frog. And is not bringing upon Egypt an invasion of seven-headed snakes. All the plagues are, seemingly, “natural phenomena”, events that could have occurred naturally in Egypt. Let’s analyze, for example, the plague of darkness. What type of phenomena caused this darkness? The Biblical text describes it as tangible, a darkness that can be felt. The text also implies that this state of darkness literally paralyzed Egypt: people could not see each other from a close distance, so no one left his home for three days. Whatever caused this darkness, the Tora is not describing here merely the absence of light. Rabbi Abraham Eben Ezra says that the Ninth Plague might have been produced by a very thick, intense fog coming from the Nile. Incidentally, I experienced this type of fog when I visited the forests of Monteverde in Costa Rica. Unlike the absence of light, the darkness produced by heavy fog is tangible, a zero visibility that you can physically feel and “touch.” Precisely as the biblical text describes this plague. This won’t be the case, for example, if darkness was a product of a solar eclipse.

MY FAVORITE CANDIDATE FOR DARKNESS
A few years ago, when I was living in Israel, I was driving my old light-blue Subaru car from Jerusalem to Dimona, and to shorten the way, I did not use the regular safe highway: I turned east, circumventing Mount Hebron and some Arab villages in somewhat desert areas. And then, I got caught in a sandstorm. It was noon, but I could not see a thing, not a foot ahead of me. I slowed down, and then I turned on the car’s lights. Serious mistake! Far from illuminating the route, my car’s lights were reflected in the “sandstorm”, and it dazzled me directly in the eyes. So to be able to see anything, I had to turn off the light! I had to stop my car in the middle of nowhere. B”H the storm was short, and I don’t think it was as severe as the one in Egypt… But it helped me understand better that light is useless for this type of darkness and that thick, tangible darkness could disrupt normal life and paralyze people. Sand storms and dust storms are prevalent in the Middle East and other areas of the world. This awesome video shows a dust storm that affected Oklahoma and other areas in 1935. This footage is priceless because it mentions this climate event as a “plague” (I don’t think there is any deliberate allusion to Egypt or the Bible here). It also mentions that it felt like midnight, with zero visibility, in the brightness of the day. Thirdly, same as in Egypt, people could not move; they had to crawl to seek shelter. All this corresponds verbatim to the Biblical text description of the plague of darkness.

THE TORA vs. LORD VOLDEMORT

The Tora tells us explicitly the reason for the Makkot. וידעו מצרים כי-אני ה ‘ בנטתי את-ידי על-מצרים והוצאתי את-בני-ישראל, מתוכם. “So the Egyptians would know that I’m HaShem”. But this still begs the question of precisely what the Egyptians needed to know. That HaShem can perform magic better than the Egyptian wizards? In my opinion, the ultimate goal of the plagues was for the Egyptians –and for the Jews– is the evidence that HaShem is the Creator and that He alone is in control of nature. How so?

Nature unleashes its power indiscriminately and without warning. But the plagues of Egypt were different. They were not natural events but rather the handiwork of a higher power; the true God is in complete control of nature. He, through the agency of Moses, decided when each plague would begin and how long it would last. The plagues were also intelligently designed, each serving a specific purpose. For example, the plague of locusts was designed to destroy all the green leaves in Egypt, while the previous plague of hail left them untouched. Nature is blind: an earthquake won’t spare children or innocent people. Nature does not have the capacity to make moral selections. What makes the plagues different and unique (and Divine) is that they were visibly under God’s control. God, thru the agency of Moshe, decided when the plague would start and how long it would last. And what sets the plagues apart from nature even more, is that they affected only the Egyptians and not the Israelites. This is explicitly mentioned in several plagues, such as the pestilence that struck the Egyptian animals and the darkness that did not affect the Israelites’ place of residence. This level of precision and selectivity can only be achieved by a Creator who is deliberately engineering these special effects.

Unlike natural forces, represented by the Egyptian gods, the Creator “selects”, making a plague affecting one sector of the population and not the other. Thus, the God of Israel demonstrates that he can direct his power and affect only a specific target, something that blind nature cannot do. This selective power is more present in the Tenth and last plague than in any other plague. The last plague affected the firstborn. Now, there is nothing physical or biological in an individual’s body by which a scientist can determine that this person was born first or second from his mother. Only the Creator, and nothing in Nature, can identify who was born first. Second, God ordered the Hebrews to mark their homes with blood, and then, God would spare those homes against the lethal plague. This selective effect of a plague cannot be attributed to magic or the work of any natural phenomena.

The plagues of Egypt were not random acts of nature but rather the finely tuned instruments of a Creator who was using them to accomplish His plan.

See this article about a monster dust storm in Australia, 2020

https://www.theguardian.com/australia-news/2020/jan/20/huge-dust-storms-hit-central-new-south-wales

THREE DESTRUCTIVE COMMUNICATION PATTERNS

Based John Gottman’s: The Seven Principles for making marriage work

1. CRITICISM vs COMPLAINT

Criticism
• Attacks personality or character
• Uses “always / never”
• Creates defensiveness

Complaint (Gentle Start-Up)
• Focuses on behavior
• Uses “I feel”
• Makes a clear request

Formula for a Healthy Complaint:

I feel ___ about ___, and I need ___.

2. CONTEMPT (Most Dangerous)

What It Looks Like:
• Sarcasm
• Mocking
• Eye-rolling
• Name-calling
• Superiority

Why It’s Toxic:
• Destroys respect
• Creates shame
• Predicts divorce

Antidote:

Practice respect, appreciation, and repair.

3. DEFENSIVENESS

What It Sounds Like:
• “It’s not my fault”
• Excuses
• Counterattacks
• Playing the victim (DARVO:

Why It Fails:
• Blocks responsibility
• Prevents repair

Antidote:

Take even partial responsibility.

SUMMARY OF PARASHAT SHEMOT

This week we start a new book: Shemot, “Names” or Exodus.

1. THE BIRTH OF MOSHE
The Tora begins by mentioning the names of Jacob’s sons and telling us that his descendants were prosperous, fruitful, and powerful in Egypt. But when a new dynasty arose, Pharaoh set out to weaken the Jews and impoverish them. First, by taxing them and giving them hard jobs. But no matter how much he oppressed them, the Jews continued to multiply and did not lose their power. Pharaoh then orders the midwives to kill all the newborn Hebrew children. These women, however, defied Pharaoh’s order and let the children live. Pharaoh called the midwives to punish them for not following his orders. The midwives replied that Hebrew women were self-sufficient in delivering their babies. God rewards the midwives for their bravery and fear of Heaven. Pharaoh then orders all his people to take part in the elimination of the Jewish children by throwing all the newborn males into the Nile. When Moshe (Moises) is born, his mother fears for his life, and she puts him in a waterproof basket and leaves the basket floating in the Nile. Pharaoh’s daughter, Batya, bathes in the Nile when she sees the child. She takes it and adopts it as her own. Miriam, Moshe’s sister, who is observing what is happening, offers to bring a Hebrew woman to breastfeed the child. Pharaoh’s daughter accepts her suggestion, and thus Yochebed, Moshe’s mother, raises her son until he grows up.

2. MOSHE MEETS HIS BROTHERS
Moshe lives in the Royal Place. Already an adult, Moshe leaves the palace and feels the suffering of his Jewish brothers. He sees an Egyptian beating a Hebrew, Moses kills the Egyptian and somehow, Pharaoh finds out. Moshe is forced to flee. He escapes to Midian and stays there for a time. He marries Tsipora, Yitro’s daughter, and has two sons, Guereshom and Eliezer.

3. GOD REMEMBERS HIS PROMISE
In Egypt, the situation of Jewish slaves is getting worse. The people cry out to God, and God takes into account the Covenant that He had made with their ancestors. Moshe is herding Yitro’s flocks in the desert when he sees a burning bush not consumed by its fire. When Moshe came closer to understanding what was happening, God spoke to him. God tells him that He has seen the suffering of the Israelites and has decided to liberate them from the Egyptians through Moshe. God gives Moshe instructions. He must gather the Jewish elders and inform them that God would rescue them from Egypt and bring them back to Israel. Then Moshe must speak to Pharaoh and ask him to let the Jews go out to serve God. However, God warns Moshe that Pharaoh will not agree to this request. But redemption will eventually happen after God punishes Egypt. God presents Moshe with three miraculous tests to perform before the Israelites, so they will believe God has sent him. Moshe says he is unfit for this challenging mission due to his inability to speak eloquently. God then assigns his brother Aharon to be his spokesperson.

4. MOSHE GOES TO EGYPT
Moshe takes his wife and his two sons and heads to Egypt. God specifies to Moshe what he should say to Pharaoh: “Israel is my firstborn son. Let my son go to serve Me. And if you refuse to free him, I will take your firstborn son.” Moshe meets Aaron, who had come from Egypt to meet him, and together they arrive in Egypt. They gather all the elders and present the evidence that God had sent them.

5. MISSION NOT ACCOMPLISHED
Moshe and Aharon go to Pharaoh’s palace and ask him to let the Jews go. Pharaoh mocks them and instructs his taskmasters to increase the workload of the Jewish slaves. The Jews could not meet the new demands of Pharaoh, and as a result, they were brutally beaten. Moses, afflicted and confused, turns to God: “Why have you caused more suffering to these people? And what have you sent me for? For since I have spoken to Pharaoh in Your name, the people are suffering more…. “. God reassures Moshe and replies that he will soon see what God will do with Pharaoh and that the Egyptian monarch will be forced to liberate the Jews.