SEGULOT FOR SHIDDUKHIM ” Easy going”

When someone asks me what matters most in a shidukh — beyond a decent family and compatible religious and moral values — for me, it is that the person be “easy going.” The opposite of “complicated.” Easy going is someone who knows how to let things go; in Hebrew, מעביר על מדותיו. Someone capable of saying yes to an idea that isn’t theirs. And capable of changing their mind intelligently.

Think about what might wear a marriage down. It isn’t the big decisions — those come along only once in a while. It’s the small arguments, which are endless: where do we spend the first night of Pesach, what do we name the baby, are we going to this wedding or not, and who is right about what was said at Shabbat dinner. A marriage can be fifty years of minor disagreements. With an easy going person, each of those disagreements is simply a conversation. With a “complicated” person, each of those conversations can turn into a trial! Evidence must be presented, witnesses called, and a verdict awaited — a verdict that never comes, because the appeal remains open forever.

Modern psychology has a name for easy going. Of the five great traits that define a personality,   Jordan Peterson insists on one he calls agreeableness: the disposition to cooperate, to yield, to put peace above being right. Its opposite, the disagreeable person, is the one who needs to win. And there you have the shortest definition I know of what to avoid:

Someone who cares more about winning the argument than arriving at the truth.

With that person, every disagreement becomes a battle that someone has to lose. And in a marriage there is no such thing as one person winning: when one of the two loses, both lose. You won the argument but lost the evening.

Our Sages said it first, and in four words. In Pirqe Abot they describe four temperaments, and the best of them all they call a chasid: kashe likh’os venoach lirtsot — slow to anger, easy to appease. It is the exact definition of “easy going.” This is not an American concept: it was in the Mishna eighteen hundred years ago. Notice that the Mishna does not ask us to never get angry. It doesn’t exist — and anyone who claims to never get angry is not telling the truth. It asks for two measurable things: that anger be slow to arrive, and quick to leave. The first protects your wife or your husband; the second protects the marriage.

One important clarification: easy going does not mean weak. It doesn’t mean having no opinions or convictions, or saying yes to everything to avoid conflict — that has another name, and it isn’t good for a marriage either, because the one who swallows everything for ten years explodes in year eleven. The easy going person has positions and defends them. The difference lies in the goal: they argue to understand, not to win. They can say “you’re right” without feeling they lost something. They can say “I was wrong” without their self-esteem collapsing. That is, perhaps, the simplest test of all: notice how hard it is for the person you are dating to pronounce those three words — “I was wrong.” There are charming, brilliant, successful people who have never said them in their lives.

And how do you detect this on three or four dates, when everyone is showing you their best version? Because easy going is not something you ask about — nobody answers “No. I’m complicated.” It is something you observe.

A practical test: Change your plans at the last minute and see what happens: the restaurant is closed, it’s raining, what you had planned fell through. The reaction to a ruined plan says more than three hours of conversation. Watch how they treat the waiter when the food is late, and how they talk about the driver who cut them off in traffic. And above all: disagree with them about something small. Not to provoke — to see. Can he or she hold a small disagreement without it turning into something big? Does he listen to you, or she is  just waiting for her turn to answer?

Whoever passes those tests without knowing they were tests — that’s the one you can start talking seriously with.




TISHA BEAV: What happened on the 9th of Av?

This Wednesday night, July 22, we will begin the fast of Tisha Be’av, the national day of mourning of the Jewish people. Why this date? Our rabbis (Mishna, Taanit 4:6) enumerate five tragedies that took place on the 9th of Av.

1. HET HAMERAGELIM (ca. 1450 BCE): When the Jewish people were in the desert, on their way to the Promised Land, the crisis of the spies took place. Upon their return from exploring the land of Canaan, the spies convinced the people that conquering the land would be impossible. In a terrible act of ingratitude, the people reproached God for having liberated them from Egypt, and implied that He would not be able to help them conquer the Land of Israel. God decreed that everyone over the age of twenty would not enter the Promised Land, but would wander in the desert for forty years until that generation died out. The night the people cried and complained to HaShem, showing their lack of trust in Him, was the night of the 9th of Av.

2. HURBAN HABAYIT HARISHON (586 BCE): In the days of Tsidkiyahu, the last king of Yehuda, the Babylonians laid siege to Yerushalayim on the 10th of Tebet. The siege lasted two and a half years. The people had no provisions, food, or wood; thousands died of starvation and epidemics. On the 9th of Tammuz the Babylonians breached the wall and entered the city, pillaging, killing, and destroying. Still, the Bet HaMikdash kept functioning, and sacrifices were offered. On the 17th of Tammuz, for the first time since the days of the Exodus, the daily sacrifice (korban haTamid) was discontinued. On the 7th of Av, the Babylonians entered the Bet HaMikdash and profaned it. On the 9th of Av, close to sunset, they ignited the fire that burned our Bet HaMikdash through that night and the entire following day. Thousands of Jews were slaughtered, enslaved, or exiled to Babylonia. The story of the destruction of Yerushalayim and its desolation is told in Megilat Ekha.

3. HURBAN HABAYIT HASHENI (68 CE): On the 17th of Tammuz the Romans broke through the walls protecting Yerushalayim. During the following three weeks they pillaged the city, destroyed everything in their path, and killed tens of thousands of Jews. On the 9th of Av, after desecrating the Sanctuary, Titus destroyed our second Bet HaMikdash. Hundreds of thousands of Jews were killed, sold into slavery, or exiled. Our rabbis explained that the Jews of that generation were divided and fighting among themselves (sinat hinam) — and that the Romans destroyed a Bet HaMikdash that “was already destroyed,” because when the Jews are not united, HaShem’s presence does not rest among them.

4. NILKEDA BETAR (135 CE): The Jews revolted again against the Roman empire, this time with the approval of great rabbis and leaders, among them Rabbi Akiba. The Bar Kokhba revolt was crushed by the emperor Hadrian. The city of Betar, the Jews’ last stand against the Romans, fell on Tisha Be’av. Hundreds of thousands of Jews — according to the Gemara, even more — were slaughtered, and their bodies were left unburied.

5. NEHERASH HAHEKHAL: Around the same period, also on a 9th of Av, the Temple’s holiest area and its surroundings were plowed over by the Roman general Turnus Rufus. Yerushalayim was turned into a pagan city, renamed Aelia Capitolina, and Jews were forbidden to enter it.

OTHER TRAGEDIES THAT HAPPENED ON THE 9TH OF AV

1096: The First Crusade began on the 9th of Av, destroying the Jewish communities of France and the Rhineland and killing thousands of Jews in its first months.

1290: The Jews were expelled from England on the 9th of Av (July 18, 1290).

1492: The Jews were expelled from Spain, after living there for more than six centuries. The Edict of Expulsion forced the Jews to leave the country by the end of July; Tisha Be’av fell on August 1st. Estimates of the Jewish population of Spain before the expulsion vary: some sources mention 250,000; the historian Juan de Mariana speaks of 800,000; others estimate 600,000. Roughly a third remained as “conversos”; a third were killed or died while fleeing Spain and Portugal (from which the Jews were expelled in 1497); and a third managed to escape and establish themselves in Morocco, Algiers, Tunis, Turkey — the largest colony of Spanish refugees — Greece, Egypt, Syria, and Erets Israel (Safed and Yerushalayim).

IN MODERN TIMES

Germany entered World War I on August 1–2, 1914 — the 9th of Av — setting in motion the upheaval of European Jewry whose aftermath led to the Holocaust.

On August 2, 1941 — the 9th of Av — SS commander Heinrich Himmler received the formal approval of the Nazi Party for the “Final Solution,” the plan that led to the murder of a third of the world’s Jewish population.

On July 23, 1942 — the 9th of Av — the mass deportation of Jews from the Warsaw Ghetto to Treblinka began.

And on the 10th of Av: the AMIA bombing of the Jewish community center in Buenos Aires killed 85 people and injured 300 (July 18, 1994). And Israel’s unilateral disengagement from Gush Katif — haHitnatkut — began on the 10th of Av, August 15, 2005.




SHABBAT CHAZON: Does God Reside Only in His Temple?

THE PROBLEM

On the Shabbat before Tisha Be’av we read a special Haftara from the book of Yeshayahu (1:1–27). It is known as “Hazon,” from its first word, and it gives this Shabbat its name: Shabbat Hazon. In this prophetic vision, Yeshayahu rebukes the inhabitants of Yerushalayim and describes the sins that would eventually lead to the destruction of the first Bet HaMikdash.

But what exactly was their sin? At first glance, it seems strange. These were not people who had abandoned the Temple. On the contrary: they came to the Bet HaMikdash constantly. They offered sacrifices. They celebrated the festivals. They prayed. And yet God, through His prophet, tells them something devastating (1:15): “When you stretch out your hands in prayer, I will turn My eyes away from you. Even if you multiply your prayers, I will not listen. Your hands are full of blood.”

How can we understand this? These people practiced every ritual in the Temple — but outside the Temple they stole, exploited the weak, bribed judges, and corrupted justice. And they saw no contradiction between these behaviors. In their minds, everything was in order. They fulfilled their obligations toward God in God’s house, and what they did in their businesses, in their courts, in the marketplace, was not something that should concern God.

THE SOURCE OF THE PROBLEM

To understand this mentality, we have to remember the world they lived in. In the ancient pagan world, every god had an address. Ba’al had his temple, Kemosh had his, Marduk had his sanctuary. Each god “lived” in his sanctuary — exclusively. There the gods received their offerings, and there — and only there — they had power and jurisdiction. Outside his temple, the god had no eyes, no presence. What his worshipers did in their homes or their business dealings was of no interest to the gods — and perhaps even beyond their reach. Religion was a transaction conducted at the god’s residence: you brought gifts, and if the god was satisfied, he would spare you from his wrath.

The Jews of Yeshayahu’s generation had absorbed this mentality from the pagans around them — and applied it to the God of Israel. They treated the Bet HaMikdash as if it were a pagan temple: the place where HaShem lives. Inside, they were scrupulously religious. Outside, they acted as if God could not see them — as if His presence ended at the Temple gates.

MELO KOL HAARETZ KEBODO

Jewish monotheism is not reduced to believing in ONE God. First of all, it is the belief that this God is the only power — to the exclusion of every other god. Second, the God of Israel is invisible: He has no body. He is pure “existence” (or “consciousness,” if you want to use a modern word). And third, the God of Israel is omnipresent. He is everywhere. He sees what we do and knows what we think (consciousness is indeed a good word).

This was the great mistake of that generation, and it is the mistake Yeshayahu came to denounce: they ignored the omnipresence of God. HaShem is not a local deity who resides in a building in Yerushalayim. He is the Creator of heaven and earth. The Bet HaMikdash was never His exclusive residence, but our meeting point with Him — the place where we come to His presence, not the place where His presence is confined. As Shelomo HaMelekh said when he inaugurated that very Temple, recognizing God’s omnipresence: “The heavens and the heavens of the heavens cannot contain You — how much less this house that I have built” (Melakhim I, 8:27).

GOD’S EYES

A God who is everywhere sees everything. He is present in the courtroom when the judge takes a bribe. He is present in the marketplace when the scale is rigged. He is present when the widow and the orphan are turned away. And therefore, for the God of Israel, there is no such thing as religion inside the Temple and “private life” outside it. A person who is pious in the sanctuary and corrupt in his business has not understood who God is. He is worshiping HaShem as if He were Ba’al.

This is why God rejects their sacrifices and their prayers. Not because He does not want them — but because they are addressed, so to speak, to the wrong god: to a small, local, bribable deity who does not exist.

And this is also why the door remains open. Yeshayahu tells them that they are not condemned. Since their sin was moral, the remedy is moral (1:16–17): “Wash yourselves, purify yourselves. Remove your evil deeds from before My eyes. Stop doing evil. Learn to do good. Seek justice, defend the oppressed, take up the cause of the orphan, plead for the widow.” Not one word about more sacrifices. The way back to the Temple runs through everything we do outside it.

The first Bet HaMikdash was destroyed, our Sages say, when it had already been emptied of its meaning — when it had been turned into the private residence of a local god, by people who forgot that the God of Israel fills all the earth. Remembering their mistake is our task on this Tisha Be’av: to live, inside and outside, before the same God.




The Week of Tisha BeAv: Laws and Customs

From the 17th of Tammuz until the end of the 9th of Av we observe certain restrictions as an expression of mourning for the destruction of the Bet HaMikdash.

Weddings: No weddings are celebrated during these three weeks.

Shehecheyanu: We avoid eating a new fruit or wearing a new garment, which would require the beracha of Shehecheyanu.

Music: We refrain from listening to instrumental music or attending events with music.

From Rosh Hodesh Av

From the beginning of the month of Av we do not eat meat or drink wine, with the exception of Shabbat.

The Week of Tisha Be’av (שבוע שחל בו)

Our mourning reaches a higher level during the “week of Tisha Be’av,” which extends from the end of Shabbat Hazon — the Shabbat before Tisha Be’av — until the fast. This year, that week began on Saturday night, July 18, and extends until the fast ends.

In addition to the practices already mentioned, during this week we refrain from:

Laundry and Freshly Laundered Clothes: Doing laundry or taking clothes to the dry cleaners during this week is prohibited until after the fast. We also refrain from wearing freshly laundered clothing (except undergarments) until after the fast.

Haircuts and Shaving: It is prohibited to get a haircut or shave during this week until after the fast.

Bathing: We do not bathe or shower with hot water until after the fast. One may, however, wash for hygiene, washing the body in parts with a hand-held shower and warm water.

The Fast

Tisha Be’av begins Wednesday night, July 22 (8:20 pm in NY) and ends Thursday night, July 23 (8:49 pm).




I ❤️ ISRAEL: Har HaMenuchot and a Sign That Makes You Think

נְקֹ֗ם נִקְמַת֙ בְּנֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֔ל מֵאֵ֖ת הַמִּדְיָנִ֑ים אַחַ֖ר תֵּאָסֵ֥ף אֶל־עַמֶּֽיךָ׃

HaShem tells Moshe: “Lead the battle of the children of Israel against the Midianites; afterward, you will be gathered to [the souls of] your people.” (Bamidbar 31:2)

MISSION AND SACRIFICE

In this week’s parasha, Moshe Rabenu teaches us a great lesson: how to hold two opposite feelings at once and let them complete each other.

On one side, HaShem tells him, “Go, fight the Midianites, and afterward you will be gathered to your people.” That is, you will die. This war is your last mission. Moshe understands. He knows his body will return to the dust, and his soul will join his ancestors. He does not resist. He does not bargain. He accepts his own mortality with humility.

On the other side, Moshe knows he is irreplaceable as a leader. He does not say to HaShem: give this mission to Yehoshua; I am tired; let someone else do it. Moshe knows his worth. He knows no one can take his place. But he feels no vanity. He takes the responsibility on himself, to the last day.

In Moshe, these two opposite ideas—humility and self-worth—complete each other.

BET VAAD LECHOL CHAI

Yesterday, Thursday, I visited Har Hamenuchot, the largest Jewish cemetery in Yerushalayim. It sits in Givat Shaul. It covers about 58 hectares—roughly 80 soccer fields. More than 200,000 graves. Some of the greatest rabbis of recent generations rest there: Rabbi Chayim Yosef David Azulai; Rabbi Mordekhai Eliyahu; Rabbi Shalom Messas; Rabbi Yaakob Yosef, and many others.

I have to confess something. I generally do not visit cemeteries. I follow the opinion of Maimonides, who writes that one should not frequent graves (Hilkhot Ebel 4:4). And in that same place he teaches that what remembers the tzadikim is not the text carved in stone. It is their teachings. Their words and their deeds, when we recall them, are their true monument. For me, the best way to honor the memory of our Chakhamim is exactly what Maimonides says: to read, study, and teach their ideas.

I had the zekhut of writing the biographies and ideas of more than 120 “forgotten” Sephardic Chakhamim (here). I published two books about them, which I called Forgotten Giants. Every time I write about one of these rabbis, I remember what Chazal said about a verse in Shir haShirim: “dobeb sifte yeshenim“—when you repeat, when you teach, the words of a rabbi who has died, “his lips move in the grave” (Yebamot 97a). To bring back his memory is an act of techiyat hametim. From this angle, visiting the books of the Chakhamim does more to elevate their memory than visiting their graves.

THE SIGN THAT MAKES YOU THINK

I went to Har Hamenuchot thinking about our patriarchs. Abraham bought the Meara of Makhpela in Hebron in his own lifetime (Bereshit 23). He negotiated, he paid, and he secured his place and Sara’s. He did not wait. He did not leave the task to his children. Thinking about the end is not morbid. It is part of living with clear eyes, and a sign of humility before your own mortality.

When I reached the cemetery, a small sign made me stop and think. It was very simple.

It quotes two famous texts.

The first, a line from the Mishna: “Bishvili nibra haolam” — “The world was created for me” (Sanhedrin 4:5).

The second, the words of Abraham Abinu: “Veanokhi afar vaefer” — “I am only dust and ashes” (Bereshit 18:27).

Two opposite ideas. But the wisdom lies in holding both.

Start with the second, which speaks of our smallness. We are atoms. Dust returning to the earth. The more we learn about the universe, the smaller we look. In space, our whole planet is only a pale blue dot, as Carl Sagan put it. In July 1994, the comet Shoemaker-Levy 9 struck Jupiter and destroyed a surface larger than the entire Earth. It was almost routine, a small event in our small solar system—and it leaves you thinking and trembling about our cosmic fragility. We are small in space and brief in time. An illusion of no more than 120 years. Moshe Rabenu knew his return to the dust was certain, and that kept him humble. But he also knew his mission, which mattered more than his survival.

The first idea is the opposite: “the world was created for me.” At first it sounds narcissistic. But it is not. The Mishna teaches us to see ourselves as central to the Creator’s plans. Like The Truman Show, where every camera is fixed on one person. It is the way the Chakhamim teach us to see ourselves — to grasp a unique and central role in the Creator’s plans, and to realize our own significance and potential.

THE TWO NOTES INSIDE YOUR POCKETS

Rab Simcha Bunim taught that you must carry these two ideas like two notes, one in each pocket, all your life. In one pocket: “The world was created for me.” In the other: “I am dust and ashes.” Both notes are true. Wisdom is knowing which to read and when.

When you feel low, crushed by life, or depressed. Reach into the first pocket and repeat to yourself, “I was created with unique talents, and I must not waste them. Not one day should pass without putting them to use: for Am Israel, to draw closer to the Creator, and to have a good effect on others.”

When you feel worthless or forgotten, remember this: the world was created for you. Only you can do things no other human being can do.

And when you start to feel superior to others, reach for the second note. Dust and ashes. As that old song I listened to as a young man put it, about how fleeting life is: “All we are is dust in the wind.” Dust, carried off by the wind. Smallness and impermanence. The 120 years fly by.

Neither truth is enough on its own. Humility without a sense of purpose sinks you. A sense of purpose—knowing your own worth—without humility makes you arrogant. The wisdom is knowing which note to pull from which pocket in each moment.

And maybe that is why the sign stands right there, at the entrance to the cemetery. Because it is the one place where both notes open at the same time. Every grave declares “afar vaefer”: dust that returned to dust. But every grave is also a witness to “bishvili nibra haolam”: here rests a human being who was unique, with divine gifts, who made a difference in the world.




The Two Rabbis Who Gave America the Weekend

How two Orthodox rabbis refused to compromise Jewish law and helped reshape American life

For the 250th anniversary of American independence, I wrote this article on a little-known subject: how two rabbis — one Sephardic, one Ashkenazi — in the turbulent years around the turn of the 20th century helped create the weekend, Saturday and Sunday, that we take for granted today.

The article also shows something worth noticing: religious principles that are fixed and non-negotiable are, in the end, the ones that endure. They pass from generation to generation, and they leave their good mark on society and on the world. A great life lesson!

The article was published by Tablet Magazine. Here is the link to the original: The Rabbis Who Gave America the Weekend

This July 4, the United States celebrates 250 years of freedom. Among the most American of those freedoms is the First Amendment right to practice one’s religion as one chooses. We tend to think of that right as a passive protection, a line the state will not cross. But religious freedom in America was rarely that simple. In fact, in two famous and decisive fights, that freedom turned on the effort of two rabbis who, by refusing to give up the Jewish Shabbat, gave America one of its most cherished institutions: the weekend.

To understand how, you have to go back to the start of the 20th century. Back then, Shabbat observance in America was collapsing. The workweek ran six days, Monday through Saturday, and almost no employer — not even many Jewish-owned factories — gave Saturday off. The Jewish immigrant who refused to work on Shabbat was often fired before Monday morning.

Worse still, every state had its blue laws, Christian Sunday-rest legislation that forced most businesses to close on Sunday. The purpose of those laws was openly religious: the marketplace shut down so workers and merchants could attend church on Sunday morning. But for the Shabbat-observant Jew the arithmetic was brutal: he closed his business on Saturday to keep the law of the Torah, and kept it closed on Sunday to keep the law of the government. That meant the stores of observant Jews could open no more than four and a half days a week, while everyone else’s opened six.

There was an obvious way out. In Germany, in the 1840s, the radical reformer Samuel Holdheim moved his congregation’s main services to Sunday. Why insist on Saturday, he argued, if the essential thing was simply a day of spiritual rest? The idea crossed the Atlantic. In 1885, the Reform rabbinical conference in Pittsburgh declared that observance need not be confined to the Seventh Day, and some congregations began holding their services on Sunday morning instead. The arrangement solved the economic problem at once. No fights with employers, no collision with the blue laws, no risk of unemployment.

But the Orthodox rabbinic leaders understood that this accommodation solved the wrong problem. Shabbat was never just a day off. It was the day around which everything else in Jewish life turned. And once Shabbat observance weakened, the festivals it anchors would begin to fade too, and the rhythms of Jewish life would unravel. Gravest of all, the transmission of Judaism from parents to children would be at risk.

And so two rabbis took the other path. They refused to treat Shabbat as negotiable, and they spent the next half century defending it.

Rab Hayim Pereira Mendes (1852-1937) — known in his American life as Henry — was one of the great Sephardic voices of his generation. He was born in Birmingham, England, into a distinguished Sephardic rabbinic family with roots in Jamaica, London, and Amsterdam. He arrived in New York in 1877 to serve as minister and jazan of Congregation Shearith Israel, the Spanish and Portuguese synagogue founded in 1654, the oldest Jewish congregation in North America.

Mendes gave traditional Judaism in America something it badly needed: refined, eloquent English. It was no accident. His maternal grandfather, Rab David Aaron de Sola, jazan of London’s Bevis Marks synagogue, delivered the first English sermon ever heard in that synagogue, in 1831. His father, Rab Abraham Pereira Mendes, was the first Sephardic Jew to publish a volume of sermons in English. Mendes carried that tradition across the Atlantic and rendered a normative, uncompromising Judaism into dignified American English. At a time when many Orthodox rabbis still preached mainly in Yiddish or German, Mendes brought an English voice of traditional Judaism straight into the courts, the legislatures, the universities, and the newspapers, without diluting it.

He was not an isolated case. For Sephardic Jews, the answer to assimilation was never to compromise on principle. It was translation: not only speaking in a familiar language, but adopting everything in the surrounding culture that did not contradict Torah observance, while treating Jewish law as entirely non-negotiable.

That was the world of Maimonides, who wrote his greatest philosophical work in Arabic, the language of his neighbors, and defended Judaism in the very terms his Muslim contemporaries used, without surrendering a single Jewish principle. It was the world of the Spanish and Portuguese Jews of Amsterdam and London, who dressed, spoke, and carried themselves like the leading citizens of their cities while remaining wholly faithful to the Torah. And it was Mendes’s world too. When he wrote his most famous book, The Jewish Religion Ethically Presented, he explained every law and every ceremony of Judaism in the language his American readers respected — the language of ethics, character, and reason — and changed nothing in the law itself. Because he came from that Sephardic tradition, he did not believe a Jew had to choose between being fully Jewish and fully at home in America: you could be both. The Torah and Shabbat observance were not negotiable, but the way they were explained was.

His Ashkenazi partner in this fight was Rab Bernard Drachman (1861-1945). He was born in New York City, the son of immigrant parents from Galicia and Bavaria, and graduated from Columbia College in 1882. A Reform congregation funded his studies in Germany, expecting him to come back a Reform rabbi. Instead, after encountering the piety and intellectual seriousness of Eastern European Orthodoxy, he returned to the United States a committed Orthodox Jew, to the shock of those who had sponsored him.

Drachman was the first American-born Orthodox rabbi to preach in English in the country. For more than 50 years he led Congregation Zichron Ephraim, on East 67th Street, and later the Park East Synagogue. Together, Mendes and Drachman showed that traditional Judaism was not a relic of the Old World, but could be made American without surrendering its principles.

Both men built institutions. In 1898, Mendes founded the Union of Orthodox Jewish Congregations of America — today’s Orthodox Union — and was its first president. Drachman was the second, from 1908 to 1920. Mendes led the Jewish Sabbath Observance Society, and Drachman the Jewish Sabbath Alliance of America, a group devoted to helping Jews keep Shabbat without suffering untenable consequences.

Their work was often unglamorous and intensely personal. Mendes kept an office beside Shearith Israel open from morning to night. Day after day, Shabbat-observant Jews arrived who had lost their jobs for refusing to work on Saturday. Again and again, Mendes personally helped them find new work. He traveled repeatedly to Albany to testify against the Sunday-closing laws, fought to have Jewish students excused from exams set on Jewish holidays, and petitioned the government to grant Jewish soldiers leave on Yom Tov. Drachman installed his own brother Gustave, a lawyer, as the Sabbath Alliance’s full-time counsel, defending Jewish shopkeepers prosecuted under the Sunday-closing laws for decades.

For years they pressed their case, without success, through the legislatures, the courts, and direct appeals to employers. Christian Sabbatarian organizations like the Lord’s Day Alliance defeated Jewish requests for exemption again and again, while non-Jewish merchants argued that letting Jews close on Saturday instead of Sunday gave them an unfair commercial advantage.

After decades of failing to convince Americans to honor the Jewish Shabbat, Drachman proposed something bold. Instead of forcing every citizen into the same religious calendar, why not create two days of rest? Let Jews keep Saturday and Christians Sunday, and let America be encouraged to adopt a shorter workweek.

In 1915, Drachman took that argument straight into hostile territory when he traveled to the Lord’s Day Congress in Oakland, California, a national gathering of the same Christian Sabbatarians who had opposed Jewish requests for so long. Standing before men who had rejected his appeals again and again, Drachman spoke respectfully but without apology. The Jewish Shabbat, he reminded them, was in the Ten Commandments. It was not negotiable. But if each religious community could preserve its own sacred day with dignity, while workers gained more time for family and rest, American society itself would benefit.

Unlike the month and the year, the seven-day week has no basis in astronomy or nature. The unbroken cycle of six days of work followed by a sacred seventh entered world civilization through the Hebrew Bible itself. Two Orthodox rabbis were now asking the most powerful industrial nation on earth to reorganize modern labor around that ancient biblical rhythm.

It is true that the Orthodox rabbis did not establish the five-day workweek alone: labor unions, industrial reformers, and new theories of productivity all contributed to its rise. But they helped build the moral and political case years before it became common practice, and they did so precisely because they had refused to let Jewish distinctiveness dissolve into the surrounding culture.

Drachman could make that argument in Oakland precisely because he had not moved Shabbat to Sunday. It was the insistence on Saturday — the very thing that made observant Jews inconvenient to the existing system — that in time became part of a broader rethinking of work, rest, and religious freedom in America.

The idea spread slowly at first, then with remarkable speed. Starting in 1919, the Sabbath Alliance joined forces with Jewish-led labor unions. In 1920, the Amalgamated Clothing Workers of America endorsed the five-day workweek. In 1924, a convention of Orthodox rabbis from New York, New Jersey, and Connecticut formally endorsed the two-day weekend; that same year, 50,000 garment workers went on strike in support of it. Two years later the number doubled: 100,000 garment workers in New York and Philadelphia. By 1927, the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics declared the five-day week practically standard in the clothing industry, and from there it spread across the American economy.

Mendes witnessed that transformation before he died in 1937. Drachman lived until 1945, long enough to see Shabbat observed again on the Seventh Day by thousands of American Jews, for the first time in nearly a century.

Today, as America marks its milestone birthday, the weekend has become so ordinary that almost no one asks where it came from. The answer, in part, is two Orthodox rabbis who refused to move Shabbat to Sunday. What they were doing, without quite knowing it, was the unfinished work of American religious freedom. They did not set out to give America the weekend. They simply would not give up Shabbat. And precisely because they would not bend, America ended up adapting to their principles.




SUMMARY OF MATTOT-MAS’E

This Shabbat we read two Torah portions: Mattot and Mas’e.

Mattot covers several important subjects. First, it stresses the seriousness of vows, and how to annul them in cases where they cannot be kept. Then the Torah recounts what happened with the Midianites, who had sought to harm Israel: the war against them, the taking of captives, and the division of the spoils. Every tribe grew richer, and the number of animals grew.

The tribes of Reuben and Gad owned a great deal of cattle, and they asked Moshe to settle east of the Jordan instead of entering the land of Israel with the rest of the people. At first Moshe refused. The Jewish people had to face the powerful Canaanite nations living in the land, and needed a strong, united army. He feared that the desertion of these tribes would demoralize the people and weaken their unity. But Reuben and Gad assured Moshe that they would take an active part in the war of conquest — they even offered to march at the front of the battle — and would return across the Jordan only once the war was won.

In Mas’e, the Torah details the stages of the Jewish people’s journey through the desert during the forty years after leaving Egypt. It lists the places where the Israelites camped and the routes they took.

HaShem commands Moshe to tell the children of Israel about the borders of the future land of Israel, and the portion each tribe will receive. Every tribe must give some of its cities to the Levites: forty-eight cities in all. Among them, six will be cities of refuge — three on this side of the Jordan and three in Canaan — for someone who kills without intent.

Moshe conveys HaShem’s laws on homicide. One who kills deliberately is put to death, but only if at least two witnesses confirm his guilt. No one may be condemned on the testimony of a single witness. One who causes a death by accident, without intent, flees to a city of refuge, where he stays protected until the death of the Cohen Gadol.

HaShem asks that they not turn the Promised Land into a place of sin, falsehood, and injustice. Keep the land pure, because HaShem dwells among the children of Israel.

The parasha closes with the case of the daughters of Tzelofchad. It had already been established that, with no male heirs, the land would pass to the daughters. Now a condition is added: they must marry within their own tribe, so that their portion does not pass to another tribe and the tribal borders stay intact.




I ❤️ ISRAEL: The Challenge of Fasting in Israel

Yesterday we commemorated the 17th of Tamuz, a fast day that opens a period of mourning that grows in intensity until the 9th of Ab. We remember the five tragedies that struck the Jewish people on this date: the breaking of the Tablets of the Law, the betrayal of Menashe, the cancellation of the daily sacrifices, and the breach of the walls of Yerushalayim (see here all the details of what happened on this day: https://halaja.org/2026/07/todo-lo-que-debes-saber-sobre-el-17-de-tamuz/).

In the Diaspora, even in the most comfortable corners of the Jewish world, it is becoming less and less difficult to feel this sense of mourning. To experience these fasts properly, one must feel “exiled”: away from home, demonized and hated by one’s hosts.

But here in Israel, how do you summon that kind of grief? And not because Israel lacks external threats or internal problems. It’s that here it is hard to be sad, while enjoying the extraordinary opportunity HaShem has given our generation: to live in His country and to serve Him in His own place of residence.

NUMBERS

This “contagious” feeling of happiness you sense here is not just theory or a subjective impression.

In the 2026 international happiness index, the World Happiness Report, which measures 147 countries, Israel ranks 8th in the world. For the second year in a row. In the middle of a war with Iran and company!

And the most remarkable detail: it is Israelis under 25, the generation of the future, who rank third in the world. The young people who serve in the army, who run to shelters, who lived through the trauma of the hostages, who buried friends. Third in happiness, far ahead of their peers in the West. In the United States, for example, young people rank around 60th. And Israel’s neighbors? Egypt: 139. Lebanon: 144.

And this is not just statistics: you see it in the street! In the malls. Full restaurants, families with many children, people enjoying the present and planning the future.

It is the greatest miracle: the most threatened country in the world is the happiest country in the West.

MEANING AND HAPPINESS

How do you explain it? Researchers point to family bonds, to social cohesion. All true. But I believe there is something more: here there is a sense of purpose.

The ordinary Israeli, the soldier, the farmer, the mother raising five children, knows that his daily life is part of something bigger than himself. He is not simply “living his life”: he is keeping the house. The house of the entire Jewish people. Every Jew on the planet, whether he knows it or not, has a home here. And if he ever needs it, if one day his country of residence stops being 100% safe, his refuge, his security, and his future are waiting for him here. Israelis are the guardians of that house. And whoever keeps the house of an entire people has no time for an existential void.

Modern psychology confirms it: happiness does not come from comfort; it comes from purpose. That is why young Israelis, who know what they are doing, why they are doing it, and for whom they are doing it, with everything they carry on their shoulders, are happier than young people who have every comfort and no mission in life, no way to shape the destiny of a nation through their own actions.

That is why the 17th of Tamuz tastes different in Israel. In Israel we fast for the walls of Jerusalem that were broken, while we are surrounded by the walls rising all over the Holy City.

The Mishna (Taanit 4:8) clearly reminds us that one day these fasts will become days of joy. Here in Israel, that day does not seem very far away.




I ❤️ ISRAEL: The Farm on the Hill

 

From the summit of Har Ebal, looking toward Shechem and the surrounding Arab towns, our guide, Israel, pointed just in front of us to the hill of Tammun. “Do you see that little house on the top? It’s a chava, a Jewish farm.” To see it clearly, we needed binoculars: a little house, a corral, and an improvised dirt road. Nothing more.

1 FAMILY + 50 SHEEP

The chavot (farms) project is brilliantly simple, and of strategic, even messianic, importance. A young family with small children settles, with great sacrifice, on an empty hill, and raises 20 to 50 animals: goats, sheep or cows. The animals go out to graze every morning, and the vast territory they cover is now assigned to that Jewish family. One family with a flock covers more territory than any new community could.

THE NUMBERS

Let’s look at the numbers.

In Yehuda and Shomron (Judea and Samaria) about half a million Jews live today, in more than a hundred communities. The entire built area of those communities, all the houses, streets and schools built from 1967 until today, extends over some 8,000 hectares.

There are now about 150 new farms in these territories, inhabited by a few hundred people. How much land do they cover with their grazing animals? About 78,600 hectares. That is 14% of all Yehuda and Shomron.

Read that again: half a million people, building for sixty years, occupy 8,000 hectares. A few dozen brave Jewish families with their flocks cover ten times more! Seventy percent of the land that returned to Jewish hands in these decades returned through grazing, not through construction.

And the pace is accelerating: since October 2023 alone, some 50 new farms have been established.

THE SECRET

Then Israel, our guide, said something I had never heard before.

The Arabs of these territories receive enormous amounts of money. Billions of dollars from Europe, from the United Nations, and even from the US. Why don’t they build? Why don’t they govern more territory, why don’t they have better infrastructure, why don’t they fill these hills with houses and cities with all those fortunes?

The answer, he said, is one word: “corruption.”

The corruption of the Palestinian leadership is legendary. And until this past Wednesday, it truly bothered me. Arafat’s family accumulated a fortune of billions of dollars (see here: https://www.cbsnews.com/news/arafats-billions/). The same goes for the families of the leaders of the Palestinian Authority and Hamas.

The international money that was supposed to build cities ended up in personal accounts. But now I understand that while the leaders were filling their pockets, the hills of the Shomron remained empty, waiting for the Jews!

Sometimes Bore Olam intervenes in the minds of the Goyim: He hardens their hearts, as He did with Pharaoh, and perhaps He also inflates their egos and their material ambitions, as with these greedy political leaders. Thanks to their corruption, we can repopulate our land!

MIRACLE

From Har Ebal you can see the past: the altar of Yehoshua’s sacrifices. And you can also see, on the mountains of the Shomron, the little Jewish farms that, with enormous sacrifice, are going up and reclaiming the land of our ancestors.

May HaShem bless and protect all the pioneers who do so much for Am Israel, the Torah of Israel, and the Land of Israel.

PS: If you believe in becoming partners in this remarkable sacrifice, reclaiming the land of Yehoshua bin Nun, Shemuel, and his mother Chana, consider getting in contact with one of the organizations that help these farms and settlements in Judea and Samaria.

I found this website that helps the pioneers of these farms obtain security equipment to defend themselves from the constant attacks by the Arabs around them:

https://israel365charity.com/our-projects/protect-farms-in-judea-and-samaria/




I ❤️ ISRAEL: Back to the Shomron

My wife Coty and I are here in Israel with our family, celebrating the Bar Mitzva of our grandson Yosef. This past Wednesday, the 16th of Tamuz, we left Yerushalayim in the morning and headed north. In less than an hour the landscape changes: the buildings end and the hills of the Shomron (Samaria) begin, olive terraces and villages on the hilltops. It is a biblical landscape. You don’t have to imagine it. It’s right there, on the other side of the window.

SHILO

Our first stop was Shilo.

“The whole assembly of the people of Israel gathered at Shilo” (Yehoshua 18:1).

In this city, Yehoshua bin Nun gathered all the tribes of Israel to decide by goral (lottery) how the land would be divided: which tribe would settle in the north, the south, the center, the coast, etc.

Shilo is also where the Mishkan was established: the Tabernacle, the precursor of the great Temple of Yerushalayim. It stood there for 369 years. We visited the site of the Mishkan, which can still be identified, a plot of about 50 meters long by 25 meters wide.

It was there, at the Tabernacle of Shilo, that Chana, the mother of Shemuel, the first prophet of Israel, asked HaShem for a son. She later composed her famous prayer of gratitude, Tefilat Chana. It is written there, and we read it aloud with great emotion.

WINE IN SHOMRON

From Shilo we went to the Tura winery, where we had lunch. They gave us three wines to taste: white, rose, and red. First we recited Hagefen, and then, twice, Hatov veHametiv. The wines of the Shomron are famous all over the world. They have won international awards (https://www.jpost.com/israel-news/article-745547) in blind tastings, where the judges taste the wines without knowing where they come from (otherwise, I doubt we would have won).

There we had lunch with the most famous and active man in the region these days: Yosi Dagan, the head of the Shomron Regional Council and the man responsible, together with the extraordinary minister Betzalel Smotrich, for the incredible, miraculous reconstruction and reestablishment of 22 new communities in the Shomron, what the Goyim call the West Bank.

For dessert, my son, Rabbi David, gave a beautiful Debar Torah. He began by saying: אנחנו שותים נבואה, “We are drinking a prophecy.” He was referring to the words of the prophet Yirmiyahu, who, looking at this territory of Israel completely depopulated and destroyed, dared to say:

ע֚וֹד תִּטְּעִ֣י כְרָמִ֔ים בְּהָרֵ֖י שֹׁמְר֑וֹן נָטְע֥וּ נֹטְעִ֖ים וְחִלֵּֽלוּ׃

In the future, the Jews “will plant vineyards again on the mountains of the Shomron… and they will enjoy their fruit” (Yirmiyahu 31:4).

Notice the detail: the pasuk does not say “in Israel” in general but specifically on the mountains of the Shomron, the exact place where the Tura winery stands, along with other famous wineries, like “Shiloh.” And the final word, vechilelu, is a halakhic term that applies only to Jews: it refers to redeeming the fruit of the fourth year (neta revai) so it can be consumed with a great celebration. In other words, the prophecy does not announce only planted vineyards but Jews drinking with joy from the fruit of the vine of those mountains. Exactly what we were doing at that very moment!

After the wine, I needed a strong Elite Turkish coffee to stay awake and arrive sober at our main destination: Mount Ebal (הר עיבל).

HAR EBAL

It was an hour’s drive to reach the past: some 3,500 years back. Our destination?

The altar built by Yehoshua bin Nun:

אָ֣ז יִבְנֶ֤ה יְהוֹשֻׁ֙עַ֙ מִזְבֵּ֔חַ לַֽה׳ אֱלֹ-הֵ֣י יִשְׂרָאֵ֑ל בְּהַ֖ר עֵיבָֽל

“Then Yehoshua built an altar to ה׳, the God of Israel, on Har Ebal” (Yehoshua 8:30).

Moshe had instructed Yehoshua that, upon entering the land of Israel, he should perform a ceremony confirming the covenant between God and Israel: he was to write the Torah on stones coated with plaster, read the terms of the Covenant before the entire people, and there, in that very place, offer sacrifices and offerings of gratitude to God.

In the 1980s, the archaeologist Adam Zertal identified this altar. Thousands of burned bones were discovered there, all from animals the Torah considers pure, that is, fit to be sacrificed. The altar is built exactly as the Torah prescribes: with a ramp instead of the stairs used by pagan peoples and made of whole stones, untouched by metal tools. It is the oldest identifiable archaeological site in the history of Israel in its land!

It was deeply moving to stand there and picture, from that spot, our ancestors between the two mountains, the Kohanim and Leviim facing us in the valley, listening to Yehoshua bin Nun reading the Torah.

THE RESET

But we did not only see the past. We also saw the future. Standing at the summit of Har Ebal, with our backs to the altar, the view commands the northern Shomron: Mount Gerizim in front, the valley below, and hills dotted with Arab towns and villages: Shechem, I believe Jenin as well, and others.

But from that same spot we could also see the new Jewish communities: Har Berakha, on Mount Gerizim itself. Elon More, very close, to the east. Itamar.

And now look at the map.

In the black square you can see the site of Yehoshua’s Mizbeach (altar), on the northeastern summit of the mountain. And a short distance away, on the same mountain, there is a new dot that did not exist a year ago: a new community bearing the name of this mountain: Ebal (spelled: Eival).

And Eival is not an isolated case. In May 2025 the government of Israel, B”H, approved the creation of 22 new communities in Yehuda and Shomron, something that had not happened in decades. The names are a map of the Tanakh coming back to life, as you can see in the orange marks on this map. It is part of Yosi Dagan’s “One Million in the Shomron” plan: to reach one million Jewish residents in the Shomron by 2050.

The community of Eival was founded in March 2026, in the middle of the war with Iran. While missiles were falling on Israel, trucks were climbing the mountain of Yehoshua at night, carrying the first homes. Half a year of preparations, and the Mount of the Covenant has a Jewish population again, after thousands of years.

Without knowing it, we were standing on a time-tunnel, or a time-bridge. Behind us, the ancient stones of the altar that Yehoshua built 3500 years ago. And in front of us, the land to which the people of Israel are returning, in our privileged days.