How do we Honor our Parents?
כבד את אביך ואת אמך
We will see now some examples of how to honor our parents
NAMING OF OUR CHILDREN
Naming our children with our parents name is considered one of the most significant ways of honoring our parents. This is a very old tradition (recorded in the Tora for the first time with Nahor, Terah’s father , and Abraham Abinu’s brother), and was very carefully maintained in Sephardic communities. In general, it is customary to name the father or mother of the husband first, and then the father and mother of the wife.
In the Ashkenazi tradition, however, children are NOT named after grandparents, while the latter are alive. Why? It is a purely practical matter: We are not allowed to call our parents by their first name. We have to call them respectfully “Dad” or “Father”, “Mom”, “Mother”, etc. This restriction, some rabbis say, includes mentioning the name of one of the parents, even when we are addressing another person. For example: if my father’s name is “Ya’aqob” and a friend’s name is also Ya’aqob, I should not call my friend by his name in my father’s presence, because it will seem like a lack of respect to mention my father’s first name in his presence (instead of saying “Dad”). Similarly, if my father “Ya’aqob” is alive and I call my son: “Ya’aqob”, inevitably, every time I call my son in the presence of my father, according to the Ashkenazi tradition, it would be gesture of lack of respect towards my father. And it is for this reason–ironically for the same reason that the Sephardic tradition indicates to name the children after one’s parents, namely., respect for one’s parents– that the Ashkenazi tradition indicates not to name the children after the grandparents while they are alive.
FRIDAY NIGHT
In many families children confer a special honor on their parents and grandparents, especially on Friday night, asking them and thanking them for their blessing. After Qiddush the sons and daughters approach their elders to receive a blessing. Parents and grandparents bless their children (even when the children are older, married, etc.) with the blessing of the Cohanim: “May HaShem bless you and protect you, etc.” Many parents also bless their children saying: ” May God bless you as well as Efraim and Menashe, etc. “, wishing their children and grandchildren that all their good wishes are fulfilled. This gesture of honoring elders–very common in Sephardic families–is that immediately after receiving this blessing, the children kiss their parents’ and grandparents’ hands. While kissing the hand is a custom that fell into disuse in modern Western society (I remember reading several times in old Spanish books the acronym s.s.q.b.s.m or simply “qbsm.” Do you know what does it mean? SU SERVIDOR QUE BESA SU MANO ), in the Jewish family it is considered a sign of respect and love towards our elders.
ALIYA LATORA
In the Synagogue, it is also customary that when the grandfather or the father is called to ascend to the Tora, all members of the family rise from their seats in honor of their elders. This gesture of honor is also conferred when older brothers, uncles or other relatives are called to the Tora. When the father or grandfather returns to his seat, once his Tora reading is finished, the children and grandchildren often kiss the hand’s of their elders as a sign of honor. When a elder of an extended family (a “patriarch”) is called to the Tora, it is not uncommon to find tens of people rising up in his honor
FINANCIAL SUPPORT
The Talmud (Qidushin 32) states that children are not obliged to support their parents financially, when parents have the means to support themselves.
However, when parents cannot work because they are already too old, and / or when they do not have the means to support themselves, it is a great Mitsva to support one’s parents financially and provide them, according to what the children can afford, with food, clothing, housing, and whatever necessary for them to live with dignity.
Rabbi Refael Aharon Ben Shimon and the Ashkenazi community of Cairo
Who is behind Trump, Putin, Cyrus?
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HATSIPOREN: The Perfume of the Sea
HATSORI: The Perfume of the Messiah
רַבָּן שִׁמְעון בֶּן גַּמְלִיאֵל אומֵר: הַצֳּרִי אֵינו אֶלָּא שְׁרָף הַנּוטֵף מֵעֲצֵי הַקְּטָף
A few days ago we talked about the Qetoret, the incense that used to be offered daily in the Bet-haMiqdash, the Temple of Jerusalem (see here). We also said that although the Tora and the Sages mentioned the eleven elements used in the Qetoret, most of them plants, it is difficult to identify them today, either because some of these plants disappeared, or because we are not sure of their identity. This problem is better understood when we remember that in the production of the Qetoret there was “professional secrecy” (as happens, for example, in the contemporary industrial world with many products).
We will see today the first element of the Qetoret. In the Tora it is called “nataf”, which means drop or dripping (we will soon understand why), and in Rabbinic Hebrew it is known by the name of the final product: the TSORI.
Rabbi Portaleone in his book Shilte haGuibborim describes extensively the details of the identification of the TSORI: the tree; where it was grown; the imitations of this tree, and what part of the tree was used to produce the Tsori.
I will mention now the opinion of most Rabbis and prestigious researchers, such as the Israeli scientist Yehuda Feliks (1922-2005) from Bar Ilan University, an expert in the subject of biblical and talmudic flora and fauna.
THE TREE
The Tsori was obtained from the Afarsemon tree, which is NOT the Persimmon tree or fruit cultivated nowadays in Israel. This tree, about a meter high, grew exclusively in the land of Israel, in the valley of Jericho and south of the Dead Sea (‘En Gedi). The Afarsemon tree was found also in Egypt, and according to Rabbi Portaleone it was brought there by the sons of Ya’aqob (קחו מזימרת הארץ), as an exotic gift to please the mysterious Egyptian monarch (who ended up being Yosef).
At the time of the destruction of the Bet haMiqdash (68 of the common era) the Romans, who heard of this wonderful tree and its importance to the Jews, tried to make the tree disappear from Israel and cultivate it in Rome. The Roman historian Pilinio the Old testifies that the Jews defended this tree with their lives, because without this tree the Qetoret could not be elaborated. The Romans valued this famous tree so much that it was exhibited at Tito’s triumphal march in the Colosseum, along with other precious spoils of war (it was the first and last time in the history of Rome that a tree appeared in a March of Triumph ).
MANUFACTURING THE TSORI
Rabbi Portaleone analyzes all the theories as to which part of the tree was used to produce the Tsori, even an opinion that according to Maimonides the Tsori was elaborated out of the wood of the tree, not its sap. But in the end he concludes with the opinion of Rabban Shimon ben Gamliel (which we Sephardic Jews know by heart because we read it three times a day): the Tsori, which is also a combustible substance ( in Hebrew: שרף) was obtained from the resin (sap) of the tree, which the Rabbis called ‘atse haquetaf. Trees produce resin when they are “injured”, to heal or regenerate their wood. For the tree to drip its resin (נטף) an incision has the be made. And in this particular tree the incision could not be made with metal, because it killed the tree, but with a sharp glass. Other professional secrets included the following points: at what period of the year was the incision made? How many incisions, and in which parts were those incisions made? The trunk, or the branches? How was the resin collected and how was it preserved, so that it does not get ruined? Etc.
SHEMEN AFARSEMON
It seems to me then that with the resin of this tree an exotic perfume called Shemen Afarsemon was also made (my doubt persists: are the “Tsori” and “Shemen Afarsemon” two different products obtained from the same sap, or one product with two different names?).
The Afarsemon perfume (or balsam, oil, or extract) was so typical of the land of Israel that our sages formulated a specific special blessing for it: “Blessed are You HaShem … Creator of the perfume of our Land” (בורא שמן ארצנו)
This precious fragrance was sold to the royalty and aristocracy of the Middle East, and it was one of the most important commercial products for export that sustained the Israeli economy during the times of the Bet haMiqdash. There are testimonies that the Phoenicians of Tire and Sidon paid for this perfume, literally, its weight in gold. This beautiful balsam was also used to anoint the Kings of Israel in the official act of coronation. And this oil, “Shemen Afarsemon” will be used to officially crown the Messiah. The Hebrew word “mashiah” literally means “anointed” (many people wrongly believe that “mashiah” means “savior”!), indicating precisely to this official anointing / coronation ceremony of the melekh hamashiah, the anointed King, descendant of David haMelekh. May we see him coming במבי“א .
שבת שלום
The Discovery of the Century?
See this fascinating article from the NYT , 1989, claiming that a jug with Afarsemon balsam was discovered in one of Israel’s cave, near the Dead Sea.
A Kippa and a Belt in the Streets of Berlin (Part 2 of 2)
A Kippa and a belt in Berlin (Part 1 of 2)
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Nissim Ginni, 10 years old, the youngest fallen soldier of the IDF
