כך הקב״ה החריט לפניו את העולם, ולא היה עומד עד שברא את התשובה

פרקי רבי אליעזר פרק ג

CREATION AND ARCHITECTURE

There is a beautiful Midrash that compares God, in the moment prior to Creation, with an architect who plans what he is about to do. The architect draws a plan of the complex building he wishes to build, visualizes it and calculates whether the foundations will be strong enough to support it. But then he realizes that no. That the foundations are not good enough, and sooner or later the building is going to fall … He keeps drawing, tries one thing and then another, until he finally finds the formula and determines what foundations the building needs to avoid collapse.

The Midrash uses this metaphor to explain that when HASHEM was about to create this world, thinking about the ultimate goal of creation, the complex human species, God realized that for HUMANITY to be a sustainable project, something supernatural had to be created. And what is that? TESHUBA, repentance. The revolutionary idea that you can go back and correct yourself. That human beings can ask for forgiveness from each other. And that we are able to forgive.

Without this DIVINE and supernatural attribute the human species would be destined to collapse. Like a building with a weak foundation.

A SUPERNATURAL IDEA:

But why do we say that repentance is a supernatural idea? What does it mean that Teshuba is so to speak “above” nature?

Simply because nature is cruel. That is, there are no regrets in nature. There is no “reflection” before acting. There is no going back. Actions that living beings perform are not reversible.

The most important law in the natural world is the law of cause and effect.

In the physical world when a poison enters the body it does not stop out of compassion. Nature runs its course

In the natural world there is no regret or pardon for a crime. Why? Because in nature, there are no crimes. Animals cannot choose what they do. They are dominated by their instincts. The natural world is perfectly fine without “regret.”

AND HUMANITY?

With human beings it is different. God created human beings endowed with free will. That is, with the “supernatural” ability to choose our course. Human beings can do good works, and help and not only when it is convenient for us or when it is advantageous for our survival. Men have the ability to practice altruism, that is, to do good. In such a supernatural or unnatural way that sometimes we are willing to sacrifice our own existence, our survival, to do good.

But the flip side of freedom of choice is that we can also choose to do the wrong thing: lying, cheating, or harming another person. Now let’s think about this: what would happen to the human race if when an individual makes a mistake cannot go back. When someone makes the wrong decision, no matter how minor, and there is no possibility of amending it. For how long can a normal community survive without the possibility of Teshuba?

ARCHITECT

Comparing the Creator to an architect, the Midrash says that God understood that the civilization He was designing, humanity, could not be sustained without the possibility of repentance. Imagine, for example, a society in which every mistake made is irreversible.

Can you imagine if forgiveness between husband and wife would not exist? Or between parents and children? Or between friends and colleagues? If there were no possibility of repentance, if every wrong action we commit automatically brought its consequences, without the possibility of going back, like poison entering your body, life would be unsustainable. Family would be unsustainable. Men would turn against each other and human civilization would disappear.

This is why HASHEM conceived TESHUBA, forgiveness. Which represents the founding idea without which human civilization would be destined to collapse.

In order for our society to sustain itself, we must learn to repent, we must learn to ask for forgiveness, and we must learn to forgive.

Regret, no matter how late happens, always has some value. We are not referring to repentance for offenses or damages that we may have caused to other people, but rather to repentance for what we did wrong in the area of ​​religious or moral values; in our relationship with God. If we abandon Judaism, for example, or if we have transgressed the principles of the Tora, or if we have turned away from God, etc.

In these cases, late regret, even if not ideal, is still positive. Consider a Jewish person who lived his or her entire life away from Tora observance, and begins to realize the importance of his Jewish identity when he is already 65 or 70 years old … It takes a lot of courage to admit that one has lived “wrong” all his life and it takes a lot of courage to revisit your life’s journey at an advanced age. And this is why the great merit of this form of regret cannot be underestimated. Especially when this regret turns into “instruction.” As in the case of a friend of mine who lived a life away from Judaism, and when he reached 70 years of age, he told his children: “I don’t want you to follow my path. Learn Hebrew. Attend Synagogue and embrace our religion. ” Regret, although a little late for oneself, has in this case a very important educational effect, preventing his descendants from acting in the same wrong way.

Something similar, but in a different area, happened with a famous actress who used to wear the most expensive natural furs, and after many years of ostentation, when she reached 60 years old, she decided to dedicate the rest of her life to advocate for the protection of animals. This is an example of reparative regret, which although it happens late in life, and it might be seen perhaps as questionable, has a value and should not be underestimated.

There are other cases of late repentance.

We often read in the news about some scandal involving a public official, usually in the world of politics, who was caught in an immoral situation –an illicit relationship or an act of corruption. Many times after the issue becomes public these people would stand in front of the television cameras, and publicly express their regret and ask forgiveness for what they have done and disappointed the public who trust him, his wife, his relatives, etc. This is undoubtedly a courageous gesture of repentance and contrition. However, it is questionable in terms of its credibility. Why? Because the process of repentance and apology did not happen “before” this person was caught, but as a consequence of being discovered. It is likely that what prompted this individual to repent is not conscience and conviction but convenience: the fear of losing his job, his reputation, his family, etc. And the doubt will always remain: had not been caught, would he have stop and repented?

According to Maimonides, credible repentance takes place if it happens while an individual is still involved, for example, in a immoral relationship and he realizes his mistake and stops when no one else knows about it. This would be the scenario of a complete and most credible Teshuba.

Because repentance comes when this man still has the chance to commit the same wrong act, having the same possibilities as before, the same energy and desire, but now he refrains thanks to a process of introspection that generated a new understanding. Or thanks to a renewed appreciation of religious principles and his resolution to change and be a better person. This is the ideal Teshuba.

Rabbi Abohab explains however, that even when repentance happens at a later time, and is far from ideal, it is still accepted by the Almighty.

We are analyzing the Seven Levels of Teshuba, repentance, formulated by Rabbi Abohab in his book Menorat haMaor.

The fifth level mentioned by Rabbi Abohab is when one repents after having the bad experienced the consequences of his or her wrongdoings, or after having suffered difficulties. These difficulties are not necessarily related to our wrong behavior. Let’s see.

The negative experiences that we live –for example a health problem or economic difficulties– are seen by our Sages as experiences that can potentially transform us; making us more humble and wiser. Negative experiences can inspire us and push us to reestablish our relationship with the Creator.

There is a very famous paragraph in the Torah, in the book of Debarim (Deuteronomy) chapter 30, verse 4 that refers to the collective Teshuba, to the repentance of the people of Israel when their exile ends. The Tora says: “And at the end of days, when you have lived in the midst of all these [sufferings and persecutions], you will return to HaShem your God and obey his voice.” This biblical text asserts that repentance comes as a consequence of having suffered pain, persecution and death, in this case in the hands of the nations in which we were exiled.

This type of Teshuba, maturing after suffering, is not the ideal Teshuba, since it is not born from a deep conscience introspection, but from external factors that are not in our hands, but I believe that it is the most frequent reason a process of repentance begins. For example, a Jewish person who does not live a life of observance sometimes begins to assume his or her Jewish identity when she suffers the contempt, hatred or ridicule of the anti-Semite.

It also happens that many Jews grow closer to God and Tora, for example, after having lost a loved one. When an individual loses a family member, first he rebel and depending on the circumstances, sometimes people “get angry” at the Almighty. But then, as one progresses through the stages of mourning, one becomes closer to acceptance and is reconciled with the Creator. This reconciliation can take the individual to a spiritual level higher than before. A relationship with God that is closer now than it was before suffering his loss.

Suffering is sometimes the only way to mature, grow, understand and value. When we lack nothing and we have plenty of resources and health to enjoy a comfortable material quality of life, we can easily forget God, and without planning it, we suffocate our spiritual life. We mistakenly act as if God is there to ask him for what I need…. And it doesn’t even occur to us to thank Him for giving us everything we have.

Every month, the father sent money to his son who was studying abroad. The father called the son very often, but the son never had time to talk to him. It never occurred to him to call his father and he never thank him for helping him and supporting him financially. So the father decided not to send more money. At first the son said nothing, but after two months, when his money ran out, he called his father. “Hi dad, how are you doing? I miss you! We haven’t talked for a while… .. Oh! By the way, you haven’t sent me money for two months, did you forget about me? ” The generous father, who did not forget his son, was forced to interrupt his generous gifts and have his son go through some hardships so that he could appreciate all his father was doing for him.

Rabbi Abohab explains that unfortunately many human beings (probably most of us) remember God only when we need him, we always call him to ask Him and almost never to thank him. And it is possible that, as in the example of the father and son, God’s last resort to get our attention and to push us to communicate with Him, is to interrupt the blessings that He gives us and that we take for granted: our health, our tranquility, our prosperity.

From this point of view, says Rabbi Abohab, negative experiences and suffering should always motivate us to reconnect with Him and get closer to Him .

In his book Menorat haMaor Rabbi Isaac Abohab lists The Seven Levels of Teshuba. That is, the different circumstances in which, or for which, a person regrets the wrong actions he or she did. These levels are classified according to certain categories. For example: 1. At what point do you realize that you have done something wrong and you stop doing it? 2. The alertness or numbness of your conscience. 3. If the repentance took place before or after you suffered the consequences of what you did wrong, etc.

The highest level of Teshuba is when one repents by himself, immediately, and before having been negative consequences of his bad actions.

A second level is when one does NOT immediately realize what he did wrong, and keeps repeating his wrongdoings until it becomes a habit but later repents because of a positive external stimulus, for example, the Selichot, the Viduy, the Shofar, or after studying or listening to words or Tora.

The third level, which we will see today, is when one repents once he can no longer repeat his wrongdoing.

Examples:

1. A supermarket employee steals merchandise and takes it home without anyone seeing it. As he does not immediately regret it, this action persists for a time and becomes a habit that the employee perfects to avoid being caught. His conscience no longer “protests” against this wrongdoing. Now, his imagination helps the mind to prevent awakening the conscience. How? By make up imaginary excuses: “The owners are very rich.” “They are not affected at all by what I take away.” “They don’t pay me enough.” “I work more than the other employees ”. “I deserve to get paid more and it has been a long time since they increased my salary”, etc, etc. These rationalizations numb a healthy feeling of guilt. The stealing continues and regret is not in sight. But one day, the employee comes to work and, oh surprise!: The owners have installed security cameras in the supermarket. The circumstances are different now. He can no longer steal without being seen. The brain stops inventing justifications. And ironically, this allows him to realize that he did something wrong and he finally regrets it. Rabbi Abohab indicates that although this individual’s behavior changed because circumstances changed –he no longer has the opportunity to steal as before– this “repentance”, although imperfect, is considered by the Tora as valid.
2. A man travels abroad on business. And there, where nobody knows him, he lets himself to be carried away by temptation and proceeds in a wrong way in the sexual area. Then, back home, he regrets what he did. In his town, where everyone knows him, he can no longer repeat his wrongdoing. And somehow, as Maimonides says, regret is credible when someone repents while in a position to repeat the same mistake but now chooses not to do so thanks to a better understanding of what infidelity means, etc. Either way, says Rabbi Abohab, although this act of repentance occurs when one no longer has the possibility of repeating the previous error, this act of contrition is valid, and his Teshuba, although not perfect, is accepted by God.
3. For many years an individual is in a very comfortable financial situation. Some people in need approach him to ask for help, but he constantly says “NO” and refuses to help others. As time goes by, this individual persists in his selfish behavior and does not realize (or does not want to realize) that what he is doing is wrong. Every year during the month of Elul, Rosh haShana, and Yom Kippur, he recites the Selichot, listens to the Shofar, and learns about the importance of giving Tsedaqa, but nothing has an effect on him. After a few years, his businesses go bad and he loses a large part of his assets. He has no money to spare but ironically, now that he can no longer help, he regrets not having helped others when he could. This repentance, says Rabbi Abohab, while not ideal, is valid and accepted by the Creator.

The Sages explain that if we repent while the opportunity for further wrongdoing still exists, the highest level of Teshuba is reached.

But they also said that the doors of the Teshuba are never closed. And HaShem is always willing to accept our repentance, even if it is not perfect.

אנא ה ‘, חטאתי, עויתי, פשעתי

While repentance has to do with our feelings, Teshuba is also a Mitsva, a commandment indicated in our Tora. Teshuba, the possibility of repenting for what I did wrong, means that God gives us the opportunity to correct and amend our misdoings, and not be condemned forever for the mistakes we have done.

Maimonides explains that in the process of Teshuba o regret there are two fundamental elements involved. First, we have to bring ourselves to a degree of repentance that awakes  contrition and guilt for what we have done wrong. The second step is the Viduy or confession, that is, articulating with words what we did wrong. This confession is not done in front of another person but privately before God. And the Viduy is what completes the process of Teshuba.

These two elements, repentance and confession, are mutually exclusive: on the one hand, if I confessed with words what I did wrong, but in my heart I do not regret what I did, my confession is worthless. On the other hand, if I regret what I did wrong, but I do not articulate my regret with words, my Teshuba is considered incomplete  (see Bamidbar 5: 6-7).

In this Halakha (Hilkhot Teshuba 1:1) Rambam also explains what this confession is all about. He quotes the minimal version of the Viduy which contains the basic elements of it.

1. ANNA: “Please” …: we begin the Viduy by begging God to accept our apologies. This helps us understand that what we are not “entitled” to what we are asking HaShem. We are asking for His forgiveness virtually as a favor, a matter beyond fairness. It is upon God’s discretion to forgive us, and that is why we appeal to His compassion and love for us. We realize that according to the letter of the law, we deserve to be punished for our transgressions.

2. HASHEM: “God.” By saying the name of God we realize that we confess directly in front of Him. And this remind us that God is omniscient (He knows it all) and He knows exactly our actions, our thoughts, our intentions, etc., and He obviously knows what we have done wrong. But WE need to become aware of this, and remember that we are constantly  watched by His sight… When saying the name of HaShem we realize that we can’t mislead God with fake words as we might do with other people, we must acknowledge our mistakes and beg for his forgiveness.

3. HATATI, AVITI, PASHATI. “I was wrong, I have sinned, I have rebelled against You…”. These three words indicate the three possible levels of transgression, which are classified mainly according to the intent of the sinner.

“I was wrong”, this category includes those wrong deeds I committed involuntarily, by mistake, ignorance, or without full consciousness.

“I have sinned,” I confess here the transgressions that I made voluntarily, knowing that I was doing something wrong, and I did it because I was weak and wasn’t able to restrain myself and control my instincts.

“I rebelled against you” this is the most serious level. Sometimes people would act against the Tora not because they can not control their impulses but because they want to prove something: for example, that religion is outdated, or irrelevant, etc.  showing that the “sinner” knows better than anyone else. In this case, the sin was not made because of weakness of character and the impossibility to struggle against one’s own instincts. The most common cause for “rebelling” consciously against the Tora is arrogance. Some people would sin, privately or openly,  to make a statement or to convey some anti-religious feelings. It is important to note that although this is the most serious and offensive level, if the offender sincerely regrets, the doors of Teshuba are still open, even for him.

To be continued…

THE GAME OF THE THREE LIVES

We live three times. This is life number “2”: life after birth and before death. This is a life with a body already formed, and a soul in a process of formation. Life number “1” is the one we live in our mother’s womb, with a body in a process of formation. Life number “3” is the one we will access after this life. Death is the end of life “2” and although it means the termination of your body, it does not mean that you totally disappear. Death is seen by our Tora as a transition between two lives, as a night between two days.

The transition and the differences between life 2 and life 3 is not easy to understand. Why? Because it is not a matter of “knowing more” but of understanding why “we know so little.” The best way to grasp this last idea, which may sound absurd, is to examine life before this life, life “1”, as seriously as possible.

DIE OR TO BE BORN: WHAT’S THE DIFFERENCE?

Let’s try to imagine what happens to a baby in the mother’s womb.

Let’s first think in terms of the knowledge a baby has during life “1” about life “2”.

For example: When a baby is born, does he or she know that he is born, or does he think that he is dying? If we could somehow talk with a 9-month-old baby and explain to her that in a short time she will leave her placenta, the baby will think that if she disconnects from the umbilical cord, she will die. Why? Because everything that sustains his life: oxygen, food, etc. is there, in the womb! And comes to him through the umbilical cord, without which life, as the baby knows it, can’t be possible.

THE LIMITS OF KNOWLEDGE

The baby in the womb has no idea that there is a world outside the womb. The entire universe known to him consists of the placenta. In his prenatal world there is no light, no colors, no flavors, no aromas, no sun, no sky, no water, no mom, no dad, no faces, no other people, no thoughts articulated with words.

The baby does not even know what his own world is really like, because he has never seen himself as he really “is”. That is, as seen from our perspective, as we see him in an ultrasound, or in those photos of babies with their fingers in their mouths.

After this very brief introduction to embryology, let’s apply what we just learned to the question: what can we know about life after this life? The answer? Very little. Because just like the baby, we too are limited by the physical reality around us.

THE MATERNAL WOMB AND THE EARTH’S WOMB

We live, as my mother z”l once told me, “in a dimension that resembles an invisible terrenal placenta”. And if we compare ourselves with the baby in the womb, the reality that awaits us in the world to come (which following this comparison is infinitely larger, more sophisticated and more significant than our reality) cannot be known from this life. Imagine, for example, that in the life to come there is no time. We can’t think of something outside the framework of time! Or imagine a reality in which language is not used and thoughts are not articulated with words but are rather processed thru a metaphysical “capacity” infinitely superior to verbal intelligence. How could we conceived such “mental” (?) capacity. But while we cannot know anything about the life to come, once we are born (1 to 2 or 2 to 3), we finally fully understand the life that has just ended.

One more thought: in the same way that the previous life is perceived by the baby in the womb as the only life that exists, in this life there is no physical evidence that something will eventually continue after we “die”. On the contrary, physiology seems to indicate that everything must end with the death of our body. We cannot cross that limit because the next life takes place in a dimension absolutely unknown to us, inaccessible from this dimension and also “unimaginable.”

This last point, “unimaginable”, will be examined in a future email.

To be continued

When HaShem your God brings you to the land that He promised to your parents Abraham, Isaac and Jacob … you will inherit lands with great cities that you did not build; with houses full of all kinds of good things, that you did not work for them; with wells of water that you did not dig and with vines and olive groves that you did not plant, so when you eat and feel [comfortable and] satisfied, be careful not to forget HaShem, your God, who took out of Egypt, the house bondage! «

Deut. 6: 10-12

The people of Israel are getting ready to enter the Promised Land. They will have to fight to conquer it, but HaShem promised them that He will join them in the battlefield. On the military plane, thus, success is guaranteed. “With the help of God”, literally, they will conquer the land of Israel. In speaking to the people, Moshe is not concerned with war but with peace. And more specifically for the side effects of prosperity in times of peace. 

The land they are going to be given is fully functional. Jews will not be forced to spend the next few years working hard to build their cities, their walls, their houses and sow their fields. After conquering the land they will “inherit” cities that are fully operative; wells and cisterns filled with water; fields with grain ready to be collected, and trees and vineyards bearing fruit. But this, which seems to be the fulfillment of every a man’s greatest dream, can become a trap from a spiritual or psychological point of view. The Tora warns the people of Israel against the phenomenon that some call “affluenza”.

On June 15, 2013, 16 years old Ethan Couch, killed four people while driving intoxicated. He was indicted on four counts of manslaughter. But was not sent to prison. Instead, the Judge sentenced him to 10 years of probation and therapy after this attorney argued that Couch suffered of “affluenza”, that is to say, he didn’t know boundaries because his rich parents didn’t set any, and he therefore needed rehabilitation instead of prison (this is , by the way, a great example of what Theodore Dalrymple mentions in his book: “Admirable Evasions, how psychology undermines morality”. Thanks to Dr Sauly Harari for this great book!).    

Those who are most exposed to contract affluenza are people who have everything they want “by inheritance.”  These privileged individuals did not need to earn their money by working hard. The great effort was made by the parents. And many parents (wrongly) believe that allowing their children to enjoy material abundance without doing enough to deserve it, is good for their children. Parents innocently think that privileged children will always display  great appreciation to their benefactors and be eternally grateful to them. What’s more: many parents think that since their children have received so much, and know the great feeling of being the recipient of an abundance of blessings, they will naturally learn to be generous, considerate and magnanimous with others, imitating what their parents did for them.

But it often happens that far from having educated their sons and daughters to be grateful, kind and considerate,  “giving them everything they want without demanding efforts from them”  accomplishes the exact opposite effect: children become spoiled; do not appreciate or value of what they received; tend to take everything for granted and might become selfish and self centered.  Moreover: many children that get used to receiving everything effort-free, do feel the need “to give” back or give to others. Rather, they are always expecting to receive more.  And behave as if the entire world is there to please them, like their parents did.

This was Moshe Rabbenu’s main fear. He worried that something similar could happen with the inheritance that God is giving for free to the people of Israel. They might  be affected by “affluenza” and become selfish, demanding, spoiled and ungrateful. And this is why he warns us: Beware of the effects of wealth, especially inherited wealth. Never forget “WHO” gave you everything you have.

God expects two things from us:

First of all, that we learn to value what we have, and we that learn to express our appreciation permanently. So, for example, every time we enjoy or eat something we bless (= acknowledge) God before we benefit from it. Or, every time we finish eating a meal we express our thanks to God out loud and in an elaborate prayer called “Birkat haMazon.” These Mitzvot / gestures will keep our sense of appreciation awake and alert. 

Second, beyond appreciation HaShem also demands to behave as He does. Instruct us to “imitate His generosity” by sharing the gifts we received from Him with those who have less than us. When we give to others, we naturally learn to appreciate more what we have received and inherited from Him.

SHABBAT SHALOM

Tish’a beAb is for the Jews the national day of mourning. And we take it very seriously. The Sages indicated that on that day we should feel as if “we were in front of the lifeless body of a recently deceased relative.” This is why during Ab 9 we practice the same ways of mourning as during SHIB’A, the first seven days of mourning for a close relative: for example, we do not study Tora, we do not wear leather shoes, we sit on the floor, we refrain from marital relations, we do not greet each other, we do not wash our bodies, we do not put on freshly laundered clothes, and of course we do not shave or cut our hair, etc.

In preparation for this day of mourning, during the week in which Tish’a BeAb falls, and in addition to the restrictions we were already taking upon ourselves (no parties, no celebrations, no shehecheyanu, no celebratory music, no meat, no wine, etc.) we begin to behave in certain ways as if we were actual “mourners”. For this reason, as of this Saturday night, men do not shave or cut their hair, we do not shower or take a bath with hot water, we do not wash our clothes and we only wear clothes that are “in use” ( we don’t wear, for example, a shirt that has been washed and has not been worn again.)

Last year and the year before (2018 and 2019) Tisha BeAb fell on a Sunday, that is, immediately after Shabbat and therefore, for two years in a row we did not have the experience of the week of Tisha BeAb. This year, the week of Tisha beAb is as long as it can be: from this Saturday night to the end of Tisha beAb, which ends on Thursday night.

Yosef Bitton