We prayed together, we cried, and we begged the Almighty with thousands of Tehilim. We prayed with our words, with our hearts and with our tears. We held our hope that God will listen and change the decree. And yet, our community experienced a profound and heartbreaking loss in the passing of Dorina Kalaty, Zikhrona Librakha, who was a shining light for so many of us.
After losing someone we loved very much we realize that there is so much we don’t understand. One of our questions has to do with prayers and how they affect real life.

Sometimes, it seems as though our prayers are not reaching Bore Olam. How are we supposed to comprehend this? When we care for someone and pray for them – were our prayers of any use?

I remember a few years ago there was a Jewish old man agonizing and in pain with no medical hope for his recovery. There was a tortured and painful debate among rabbis: should we stop praying for him? Why praying for Refua Shelema, a full recovery for someone that was inevitably dying? Do we pray for miracles?

I searched for wisdom and found guidance in Mr. Nassim Bassalian. He taught me a simple but very powerful lesson about prayer. In Hebrew the word refua that we usually translate as “health” has a wider meaning. Refua also means “alleviation”, “relief”, or “softening”. When we pray for refua shelema we are asking HaShem to have mercy for the person we are praying for: if possible, “Hashem, grant her a full and speedy recovery”. But if HaShem in His infinite wisdom decides that this is not possible, then: “Hashem, please, grant alleviation from her pain, and soften her suffering”. This is also what we ask HaShem in our daily silent prayer (‘amida).“Grant us healing and relief for all our illnesses, all our pains and all our wounds”.

We should never ever give up asking God even for a miracle. But we should also never believe that our prayers did not work —or that they were, God forbid, useless, if the miracle we prayed for did not happen. We should always believe that our prayers have helped the person we prayed for. Alleviating her pain, or in other ways that we can’t possibly fathom… Our loved ones might have been granted more time with us because of our prayers. Very often I hear doctors saying that the patient has just hours to live, and then they live for another week. It could very well be the result of our prayers that HaShem grants “smaller” but extremely meaningful miracles, like precious days or hours or even extra minutes of life, or consciousness.

Lastly, I believe that Hashem takes all our prayers and channels them for those we care about. Perhaps Hashem takes all the prayers we prayed for Dorina’s healing and uses them on behalf of her loved ones. I don’t have a source for this idea. It is an intuition or a wish that all those thousands and thousands of sincere and beautiful prayers for Dorina will be used by HaShem to protect Dorina’s loved ones and give comfort to her wonderful husband, her beautiful children, her amazing parents and all her family that are going through so much pain right now.

R. Yosef Bitton

Dedicated to the memory of Dorina Kalaty z”l.

1. After the qeri’a is performed, the officiant reads the prayer Patach Elyahu hanabi. Then, when the burial is completed and the sign with the name of the deceased is placed at the head of the grave, the mourners say the first Kaddish, known as Kaddish deHu Atid. This is a special Kaddish which the mourners will recite only on this occasion. Is the only Kaddish that has any allusion to death, resurrection, and a prayer to God to stop sickness, and other calamities from us.

2. The recitation of this Kaddish is usually said by the mourners following the officiant, because some Aramaic words are unusual and difficult to pronounce.

3. Once the Kaddish dehu atid is said, the officiant recites the prayer: siduq hadin, which is said to inspire the mourners into the acceptance of the divine decree. The Siduq hadin, which is recited by the officiant includes the hashkaba, which is the memorial prayer where the Hebrew name of the deceased and his or her father are mentioned.

4. At the end of the siduq hadin, the officiant recites the Mishna “Rabbi Chanania ben Aqashia omer…” and the mourners together with all the attendees who wish to say Kaddish say the Kadish Al Israel.

5. At the end, the officiant or one of the family members announces where they will be sitting Shib’a, the time for Mincha, Arbit, the date for the Didan, etc. The officiant also informs the mourners of the basic laws and traditions of Jewish mourning. After the burial is finished, the attendees are allowed to visit other graves, say hashkaba, place a little pebble on the stone, etc.

6. Before leaving the cemetery, all those present must wash their hands, pouring water three times on each hand, starting with the right hand. The hands should be left to dry naturally, and no paper or towel should be used.

Play Sound Kaddish

This Kaddish is said by the mourners at the cemetery, at the end of the burial ceremony.

The body is taken, from the Hospital, hospice or home where the person died, to the funeral home. In the funeral home, in preparation for the burial, the clothes are removed and the body is washed. This important ritual is called Tahara. Once the Tahara concludes, the deceased is wrapped with a white shroud or Takhrikhim. In the case of a male, in some communities they use to cover the body with the Talit that the deceased used during his lifetime. In other communities, they placed the Talit inside the grave. In these cases, one of the Tzitziot of the Talit must be cut and removed.

After the Tahara, the body is placed inside the coffin.

The customs regarding the funeral varies from community to community. In many communities the body is transferred directly to the cemetery or to a funeral home, before the actual burial takes place. In our community, the body is taken to the Synagogue, before is the taken to the cemetery. There, the family in mourning is greeted with words of consolation and comfort by relatives and friends. Then, everyone enters the Sanctuary and the prayer Patach Elyahu haNabi is recited. Following this prayer, the rabbis pronounce a few words (eulogy or hesped) in honor of the deceased, and brief words of consolation to his or her family members.

At the end of the eulogies, the mourners leave the sanctuary and stand in the social hall, where every person approaches them and salutes them with a gesture of respect and with additional words of comfort and consolation. Then, the body is taken to the cemetery and relatives and friends accompany it to its final destination, the burial place.

Accompanying the deceased to its final resting place is a Mitzva called Levayat haMet. Some people, close relatives and friends, would accompany the body to the cemetery and other people, would walk behind the coffin for a few steps.

Our Torah indicates that burial must take place as close as possible to the moment of death. To leave the body without burial once the soul has returned to God, according to our tradition, might represent a transgression of a biblical prohibition (lo talin) and a disrespect for the memory of the deceased. Jewish Law, therefore, requires that the body be buried preferably within the day the person died or at least within 24 hours after the decease In some extraordinary occasions –as it shall be explained below – burial could be delayed.

1. As a general rule, the proper time to perform the burial is within the first hours of the morning. If the person died during the early hours of the morning, burial might take place in the afternoon. If death occurred during the afternoon and there was no time to bury the body before sunset, one should wait until the following day. There are factors which are obviously beyond the power of the relatives in charge of the burial arrangements, like obtain the death certificate and sometimes other procedures which might not allow to bury the body as explained above.

2. Only in a situation which would be considered “in the honor of the deceased” the burial might be postponed beyond the time already explained. For example, if a son or daughter or any other relative of the deceased, whose presence in the funeral would bring honor the deceased, must come from overseas. In all these cases, one must consult a rabbinic authority to approve the delay. In no case this delay should take more than three days.

3. If a person died during Friday there is not enough time to perform the burial before Shabbat, or if the person died during Shabat, the burial should be delayed until Sunday morning.

When the pulse of his life stops, the human body –carrier of the soul– must be treated with the utmost respect and honor. The way to take care of the human body in the last moments of life, and immediately after, has been detailed by our religious tradition.

1. During agony, it is forbidden to move the body, to close the eyes of the patient or do anything that might accelerate death. It is also forbidden to speak any matter related to death or burial in the presence of the person nearing death, even if the patient is or seems to be unconscious. It is likewise forbidden to begin or even talk about any arrangements for the funeral or burial before his or her passing away.

2. At the very last moments of life, no men present should leave the room by any means, except those who could become physically or emotionally disturbed. Our tradition considers this moment as one of utmost solemnity. It is therefore a sign of respect for life to remain next to the person that will soon pass to the next world.

3. If the agonizing person is conscious, he or she needs to pronounce the Shema Israel and if possible the Viduy. This last prayer is the confession and repentance from any wrongdoings that he or she could have done in life, towards God and towards other fellowmen. If the dying person is unable to say these prayers by himself, another person can read aloud with him or on his behalf.

4. In Jewish tradition, the moment of death is determined by the interruption of the voluntary respiratory activity. In recent times most Rabbinic authorities identify death with this state: irreversible clinical death. When the cerebral cortex is not anymore in control of the voluntary respiratory activity.

5. In cases where the patient is in a state of clinical death, a competent rabbinic authority should be consulted for any type of procedure. A rabbinical authority should be also consulted for matters related to DNR signing, administration of medicines or treatments that could accelerate death like morphine drip, in cases of terminal illness, etc.

6. In the Jewish tradition, the body should be buried in its entirety, and in the best possible preserved condition. Therefore, autopsy is not usually allowed. One must notify the medical and legal authorities about this religious norm, so to avoid this proceeding. Should there be any complications, please consult a competent rabbinic authority.

7. The eyes and the mouth of the deceased should be closed by his children, relatives or friends who are present at the last moments. Also the face of the deceased should be covered with a bed sheet.

8. The body should not be moved until it is transferred for the burial, except for a matter of honor or respect, for example, to straighten it if it’s in a position or a place which not be appropriate.

9. During the time prior to the funeral, people’s behavior must be at par with the circumstances. One must not mention any form of criticism about the deceased. It is only proper to speak about the virtues of the deceased or the arrangements for the funeral.

10. One should notify to the Chebra Kadisha (community institution that makes all arrangements for the cemetery) to make arrangements for the funeral. It is also important that from the moment of death until the burial the body be watched over. If possible, a shomer (guard) should be requested from the Chebra Kadisha or the community assistance to have someone with the body until the burial.. This custom was established by the rabbis to protect the integrity of the body. In ancient times they were afraid it could get desecrated by rodents, animals, etc.

WHAT DID THE NAZIS DO DURING THEIR LAST DAYS IN POWER?
One of the most shocking movies I have seen is called “The Last Days” by Steven Spielberg, a documentary where five survivors talk about the extermination of Hungarian Jews during the Shoah. In May 1944 the deportation of Hungarian Jews to Auschwitz began. In just eight weeks, more than 420,000 Jews were deported and killed. The figures and the speed at which this massacre was carried out is absolutely incomprehensible. On a typical day, there were three or four trains, with between 3,000 and 4,000 people on each train. Every day about 12,000 Jews arrived at the death camps. Winston Churchill said of the Hungarian Jews that they suffered “… probably the greatest and most horrible crime ever committed in the entire history of the world …”. Why is the movie called “The Last Days”? At the beginning of the documentary, an historian explains that Hitler wanted to carry out the extermination of the Jewish population of Hungary despite knowing the high probability that Germany would be defeated at that stage of the war; and instead of deploying more troops to reinforce the fronts where they were losing, in their last days in power the genocide of Jews was the priority for the Nazis.

ONLY IN YOUR DREAMS…
We Jews have been praying for peace since the beginning of time. Living in peace is our greatest aspiration. The Tora mentions “peace” as the ultimate goal of priestly blessing (Birkat Kohanim). “Bless us with peace” is the content of the final blessing of the most important prayer, the Amida. Our highest aspiration for messianic times is not “world domination” or “mass conversion” as it happens in other religions. The greatest miracle to which we aspire is to live in peace with neighboring nations, those that always saw Israel as a valuable prey to be destroyed. Maimonides explains that this is the meaning of the famous prophecy of the prophet Yesha’ayahu 11: 6: וגר זאב עם כבש ונמר עם גדי ירבץ. “The wolf will live [in peace] with the lamb; and the leopard and the goat will graze together …”. This means that the predators (= the nations that seek to destroy Israel) and the prey (= Israel) will live in peace. But peace with our predators / enemies always seemed like an unrealizable utopia. An imaginary ideal beyond our dreams.

YOU CAN FEEL IT IN THE AIR..
And yet now, miraculously, peace is here.
What is happening between Israel and the Arab countries is one of the greatest wonders of our time. We should be calling each other on the phone throughout the day in endless amazement and not talking about anything other than the new peace treaties between Israel and the Arab world. We should write it in the sky, with a flotilla of airplanes, and with a big exclamation mark saying “The peace for which we have prayed so much for centuries is finally here!!!” It seems to me that we, the privileged protagonists of this miracle, do not realize the scope of what is unfolding before our eyes. In perhaps one of the most profound insights that capture the complexity of human psychology our rabbis stated that “en ba’al hanes makor benisó,” our minds are not capable to appreciate miracles as they happen.” Perhaps because miracles, unattainable by nature, are processed with our imagination. But if they finally happen, then we process them with our logic, as part of an achievable reality, and not as a miracle.

PRESIDENT TRUMP
What President Donald Trump is doing is absolutely incredible, miraculous. I love reading history, and the history of our people is my great passion. And I can say with great confidence that there has never been a non-Jewish political leader who has done as much for the Jewish people as Donald J. Trump has done for Israel. When I remember the long list of things he did for Israel, I can’t stop thinking about the blessing we recite on Purim, after reading Megilat Esther: HARAB ET RIBENU in which we thank God for “fighting our fight; confronting our enemies and exacting justice with all those who seek to destroy us. ” Donald Trump has done exactly that: Like no one else in the past, he has defended the Jewish people at the United Nations; he has condemned the infamous international anti-Semitic groups masquerading as human rights defenders; he defunded those organizations that encourage terror against Israel such as UNRWA; he imposed economic sanctions to Iran who seeks our destruction; he unmasked the Palestinian leaders agenda, showing that they do not wish peace but conflict; etc, , etc. And he has forged real peace treaties with countries that were historically hostile towards Israel. And now, this past Friday, with Sudan.

SUDAN
Peace with Sudan is truly atypical. Why? Because the Emirates or Bahrain, although they did not maintain open diplomatic relations, they were never at war against Israel. Sudan, however 1. participated in the first war against Israel, in 1948, sending 6 divisions of its army to fight against our incipient Jewish state. 2. In 1967 the declaration of the “League of Arab Nations” with the 3 famous NOS: “NO negotiations, NO recognition and NO peace with Israel”, was signed in Khartum, the capital of Sudan. In 2106 Sudan was one of Israel’s most dangerous enemies. Sudan assisted Iran and helped smuggling weapons and terrorist to Gaza.

THE LAST DAYS OF TRUMP
According to the latest polls, it is possible that President Donald Trump will lose the presidential election. Personally, I don’t believe it (or I don’t want to believe it…). But either way, you have to accept the possibility that these might be “the last days” of Donald Trump as US president. And in recent days, when Trump has so many open fronts and so many enemies that rise against him, his diplomatic efforts toward finding partners for peace with Israel did not stop. He continues focused on getting more countries to sign peace with the Jewish State: Saudi Arabia, Oman, Morocco They are on a waiting list for peace.
This past Friday while I was reading about the new prospects of peace with Sudan and I was seeing the latest electoral polls, this sad idea came to mind: that these could be “the last days” of the best friend the State of Israel ever had since its inception. And I was moved to tears because the idea of the “the last days” brought to my memory the documentary and could not avoid the mental comparison between the two most radical extremes that can be conceived …
To better appreciate what President Trump is doing, I could not forget what President Obama did literally, in his last days as US president: he sent billions of dollars in cash to Israel’s worst enemy, Iran, the only nation that openly declared its intention to wipe Israel off the map. Or when in an unprecedented move, literally in his last days, he made sure that the United States would not veto a UN resolution that cynically accused Israel of being the “occupying power” in Jerusalem.

TRUMP AND CYRUS
The Tanakh, the Hebrew Bible, concludes with the famous declaration of another great benefactor of Israel: Cyrus (Koresh), the first Persian emperor, who in the year 538 BCE supported the return of the Jews to Israel and helped financing the construction of the Second Bet haMiqdash in Yerushalayim. There the pasuq says: HASHEM HE’IR ET RUACH KORESH MELEKH PARAS “” HaShem, God, awakened / mobilized the spirit of Koresh, King of Persia … “. I have no doubt that as with Koresh, it is the Creator who animates the spirit of this great President. And that we should be infinitely grateful to Him for living these incredibly beautiful (messianic?) moments that anticipate “unprecedented” times of peace and prosperity for our beloved Medinat Israel.

PASSION FOR STUDYING Today marks the seventh anniversary of the passing of Rabbi Obadia Yosef z”l, who died at the age of 93. Rabbi Obadia was not only the most illustrious Chief Rabbi of Israel (Rishon LeTsion) in modern times, but also the Rabbi who led the Sephardim in Israel and the diaspora to their original customs and traditions. Rabbi Obadia Yosef’s passion was the study of the Tora, in particular, the legal aspects of Judaism (halakhot). Jewish jurisprudence is a very complex discipline and one needs to read and remember many, many books, some encyclopedic in size, to become a master in this field. Rabbi Yosef was endowed with a prodigious memory that allowed him to quote thousands of rabbinical opinions and rulings by heart. But his exceptional mental talents would not have been enough without his uninterrupted dedication to Tora study. I remember his son, Rabbi Ya’aqob Yosef z”l, with whom I studied for 2 years in Yerushalayim, who told us that his own passion for studying Tora began when he saw his father gently rocking the cradle of one of his little brothers with one hand, while holding and reading a Tora book with the other.

THE IMPORTANCE OF A GOOD TEACHER

From a very young age, Rabbi Obadia Yosef displayed the two most important signs of a great Tora luminary: a passion for Torah study and an exceptional memory. But that was not enough in the 1930s in Israel. In those days of financial depression, the world’s economic situation was chaotic and Israel (in those days“Palestine”) was obviously no exception. The family could not afford to have a child outside the job market… For a time, young Obadia Yosef was allowed to study at the most prestigious Sephardic Yeshiba, Porat Yosef, in the Old City of Jerusalem. But soon after, he was forced to quit his studies and work in his father’s shop in “shekhunat habukharim” in Jerusalem. Porat Yosef was led by a great rabbi born in Aleppo, Syria, Ribbi Ezra Attie z ”l (1887-1970) who besides being a very pious man and one of the greatest Tora scholars of his generation also had the ability to identify the intellectual potential and leadership qualities in his students. During the short time that Rabbi Yosef studied at Porat Yosef, Rabbi Attie identified his charisma, bright mind, and positive character. And when he found out that the young Obadia had to leave his studies to go to work, he became very sad. But he didn’t give up and did the unexpected. Rabbi Attie approached Rabbi Yosef’s father and begged him to let the boy return to the Yeshiba. He told his father: “If you need help in the store, I will stay here and work for you for free. Keeping me away from Tora study matters less than keeping your son away”. Rabbi Yosef’s father couldn’t say no. And realizing his son’s potential as a great Tora scholar, he allowed him to return to his studies. This was probably the most important turning point in Rabbi Yosef’s life.

RETURNING THE CROWN TO ITS ORIGIN

What characterized Rabbi Yosef as the leader of Sephardic Jews was his courage to reclaim the halakhic Sephardic voices of the past as binding in the present. It was not an easy task, considering that at that time he had to openly challenge other rabbinic leaders who also claimed to represent the authentic Sephardic approach. Rabbi Obadia’s main contribution was the restoration of Rabbi Yosef Caro (1488-1575) and his Shulkhan ‘arukh as the highest authority for Sephardic Jews in Israel. “Quibalnu Horaot Maran“, historically Sepharadic Jews agreed to follow the rulings of Rabbi Yosef Caro and to do no less and no more than what is stated in his books.

BEN ISH HAI or SHULCHAN ARUKH?

Uniting the Sephardic Jews of Israel around Shulchan Arukh was one of the main goals —and achievements— of Rabbi Obadia Yosef z”l. Sephardic Jews came to Israel from many countries (Morocco, Algeria, Libya, Syria, Egypt, Iran, etc.) and brought with them multiple local customs, and in many cases, these practices were stricter than what Jewish law requires. Pesach is a good example of these additional restrictions. Jews in Spanish Morocco, for example, used to cover the dining room table with seven tablecloths. Nobody dared to buy sugar or common oil for Passover. And many were using only cleaning products that were certified Kosher for Pesach, etc. Notably, the first book published by Rabbi Obadia Yosef was Jazon Obadia, a book on the laws of Pesach, which when first published in the 1950s was revolutionary. Because Rabbi Yosef directed his readers to renounce additional restrictions (dictated in Ben Ish Hay, or other local rabbinic authorities ) that in his opinion were not applicable in Israel, where Rabbi Yosef Caro was the ultimate authority. Something very similar happened with many laws of Nidda (family purity), Shabbat or Kashrut, just to mention a few examples. I remember once having a private meeting with Rabbi Yosef and I asked him about the Halakhic practical scope of the Ari haQadosh rules and he told me unambiguously that they are applicable “only in the field of liturgy (Tefila) or as a matter of private practice”, for everything else we should strictly follow Shulchan Arukh.

SEPHARADIM OR ASHKENAZIM?

 Another reason why many Sephardic had abandoned their millennial traditions was that the Jewish educational system at the time — Jewish schools and especially Rabbinical Academies – was predominantly Ashkenazi, and the Sephardic halachic tradition was literally in danger of extinction. In the 1950s Rabbi Obadia was criticized by many rabbis, Ashkenazim and Sepharadim, who rejected his halachic authority. Part of his vision was to facilitate the practice of Judaism, something he saw as a very necessary principle for our modern days. In the 1960s and 1970s, his views were considered by many Rabbis as too “liberal”. Decades passed until his voice became the highest and undisputed authority in Sephardic communities in Israel and around the world.

Rabbi Yosef Bitton