Rosh haShana is Yom haDin, the day of judgment. We explain that on this important day we must perceive the Synagogue as a court of Justice. Aware that when we hear the Shofar the Court goes into session and we recognize HaShem as our King and Supreme Judge. The Almighty examines the records of our behavior during the past year, and he must decide whether or not we deserve a new opportunity.
What remains for us to explain is what should we exactly do while listening to the Shofar and are judged by God?

Asking God for forgiveness?

In the Teshuba process, which formally lasts 10 days, everything has its time. Once Rosh HaShanah is over, we begin an intense period of repentance, reparation, and apologizing to our peers and to God. This period ends on Yom Kippur, “The Day of Forgiveness”.

But on Rosh Hashana, a request for forgiveness would be premature. That day I must concentrate on judging myself before God. Try to see myself NOT as I normally see myself, but as God sees me.

While listening to the Shofar, I have to look in the mirror and admit my mistakes in my heart (מהרהר בתשובה). This first step, essential for the entire Teshuba process, is called hakarat haChet, “admission of my mistakes”. At that moment I take responsibility for my actions and do not escape responsibility. This self-diagnosis is too serious to be taken lightly and is a prerequisite, a condition sine-qua-non for what will come after Rosh Hashanah: confession, repentance, apologizing, resolving to change, etc.

I am going to illustrate what we should do on Rosh haShana while listening to the Shofar.
One of the most important values ​​in Jewish life is chesed, generosity. Let’s take this value as an example of how I should judge myself in front of HaShem. First I must think about what I did right and what I did wrong in this area: Have I dedicated enough of my money, my time, my effort, and my thoughts to helping other people? Was I there when others needed me? When people ask for help, did I ignore them? Perhaps many people who I knew they needed help but did NOT ask for my help, probably out of shame, and I pretended to be distracted? When I found out someone was out of a job, did I do everything I could to help them? When I found out that someone had nowhere to be, did I open the doors of my house for those who needed it? Have I done for others everything that HaShem expected of me? If HaShem was generous with me, and he granted me the means and / or the talents to help, isn’t he expecting me to share what he gave me wth others?

As you can see, thinking about what I’ve done wrong or about what I could have done right, and I did not, is too serious to be overlooked by a simple: “Oh, by the way, God: I’m also sorry about my failures in the area of kindness”.

My mission of Rosh HaShana is to judge myself while God judges me. Trying to see me as He sees me. And the more real my perception of His perception of me is, the less room to deceive myself, the more objective my self-judgment and the more effective my Teshuba will be. And vice versa.

Recently, thank God, I set up one of the spaces in my house to use as an office. Now I have more comfort for studying, writing, reading, making photocopies, checking my email, etc. But inevitably, every two or three days of use, my office turns into chaos: books piled up on the desk, papers everywhere, snacks that I sometimes bring from the kitchen, etc. At least once a week, I have to intervene and dedicate time to put things back in order.

What happens with my office has a name: entropy. If we want to be more academic, my office suffers from the second law of thermodynamics, which states the inevitability of a closed system transitioning from order to chaos. Nothing goes from chaos to order by itself, without the intervention of an external factor. See Note below *

Physics and Marriage

The second law of thermodynamics also applies to marriage. In a romantic relationship, entropy manifests as emotional disorder and distance that can grow between two people if neither takes action to prevent it. In other words: if a couple feels like they’re growing apart, it’s normal, especially when neither actively does anything to prevent it. If marriage is left to manage itself, by inertia, it’s practically impossible to avoid chaos and centrifugal forces that gradually separate spouses.

A Couple of Tips to Prevent Entropy in Marriage

FOR MEN

1. One of the most important gestures a wife needs from her husband is to feel valued. For him to pay attention to what she does in the house, for him or for the children, and let her know. A woman who doesn’t feel appreciated by her husband can enter a cycle of emotional entropy. The Torah portion of this week, Ki Tavo, teaches us that it’s essential to express our appreciation and thankfulness “with words” — not just in our hearts — for what God does for us. The Jewish farmer must bring the first fruits of his harvest to the Beit Hamikdash and there perform a whole ceremony of verbal gratitude, not silently. And why should this ritual of gratitude be performed? Actually, God doesn’t need it! Many Sages explain that verbal gratitude helps to value, and thus a positive cycle is created: gratitude leads to valuing and valuing leads to gratitude. If we apply this to our wives, there won’t be room for emotional entropy.
2. Dedicating time to the wife is actually a Mitzvah (religious obligation) of the Torah, derived from the commandment of “‘Onatah”, which literally means “her times” and indicates that the Jewish husband must dedicate intimate time with his wife. Intimacy, especially emotional intimacy, is an imperative need for any wife and a prerequisite for her to feel “attracted” to her husband. For a woman, “love” means sharing time together. The husband must allocate time to his wife each day or week: taking walks together, going out to eat together, or even not doing anything specific, but being “together”. This is absolutely essential to prevent entropy.

FOR WIVES

1. Many wives believe that by criticizing their husbands, they are doing them a favor. They think that it’s a virtue to point out their mistakes in what he does, says, and thinks. They might say to themselves, “If I don’t show my husband what he’s doing wrong, who will do it for him?” However, constant criticism, even when coming from a well-intentioned place (“I want to help my husband”), doesn’t help. In reality, it only serves to increase the level of entropy and distance in the marriage. The best (and only) strategy a wife can adopt to help her husband is positive reinforcement of her spouse’s actions: praising and rewarding him when he does something right. This approach is similar to that of a pet trainer, who never criticizes, yells at, or punishes the animals being trained, but instead focuses on rewarding and reinforcing appropriate behaviors. And this method works perfectly with husbands too!
2. It’s very important for both the husband and wife to understand that happiness is not just a “mood”, but a choice. The Torah teaches this repeatedly, for example, when it commands us to “be” happy during our holidays or to “make others happy”. This “active” happiness can start by forcing myself to smile or put on a cheerful face when I’m with my loved ones. Remember that a good employee, a secretary, a flight attendant on an airplane, or a teacher who wants to keep their job, have to put on their best face around others. Incredibly, when you make an effort to project happiness, you start to feel happier. If a wife adopts a positive attitude and projects happiness, she becomes a true emotional magnet for her husband, who will feel much more drawn to spend additional time with her and seek activities to do together. A wife who radiates happiness is irresistible to any husband.

SHABBAT SHALOM

• By the way, for me, entropy is the best evidence that the world was created by God and didn’t arise on its own, since assuming a universe that arose and developed from the original chaos of the Big Bang without the intervention of a Creator would go completely against this fundamental physical law. They should teach this in all schools!

Rabbi Yosef Bitton

The first section of the Tora, Bereshit, describes the creation of the world and humanity. It starts with the story of how HaShem created the universe in six days and then rested on the seventh day.

At the beginning, HaShem created the universe, including a special planet: Earth. On the first day, HaShem made sunlight shine on the Earth, creating what we now know as “day” and “night.”

On the second day, God separated the waters above (the clouds) from the waters below (the oceans), creating an atmosphere that allows the water cycle (evaporation and precipitation).

On the third day, HaShem made the dry land appear from beneath the oceans, forming the surface of our planet. On this land, which now had sunlight and rain, God created all kinds of plants and trees.

On the fourth day, HaShem placed the sun, moon, and stars in their orbits to light the Earth and mark the seasons, days, months, and years.

On the fifth day, HaShem filled the waters with the first animals, like fish and birds.

On the sixth day, HaShem created mammals, and later that day, He created humans. The first human, Adam, was given a special ability (neshamá) to understand and choose to follow or disobey God’s commands. The first command given to humans was to rule over all creation. HaShem blessed humans, instructing them to multiply and fill the Earth.

On the seventh day, HaShem completed His creation and sanctified this day, declaring it as Shabbat.

The Tora then tells the story of the first humans. Adam was created from the dust of the earth, and HaShem breathed the breath of life into his nostrils. God created a beautiful garden in the east of Eden for Adam to live in, instructing him to work and care for it. In the garden, HaShem planted two special trees: the Tree of Life and the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil. God allowed Adam to eat from any tree in the garden except the Tree of Knowledge, warning him that eating from it would lead to death.

God brought animals to Adam to name them, but none were suitable as a companion. Seeing that Adam was lonely, HaShem put him into a deep sleep, took one of his ribs, and created a woman, Eve. Adam recognized that Eve was “bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh,” and they lived in the garden without shame about being unclothed.

The serpent, the cleverest of all animals, tricked Eve into eating the forbidden fruit from the Tree of Knowledge. She then gave some to Adam. After eating the fruit, they realized their nakedness and covered themselves with fig leaves. HaShem confronted Adam and Eve about their disobedience. As a result, HaShem cursed the serpent, increased Eve’s childbirth pain, and decreed that Adam would have to work hard for the earth to produce food. Adam and Eve were expelled from the Garden of Eden to prevent them from eating from the Tree of Life and living forever.

After their expulsion, Adam and Eve had two sons, Cain and Abel. Both brought offerings to HaShem: Abel offered the best of his flock, while Cain offered some of his leftover crops. HaShem accepted Abel’s offering but rejected Cain’s, which made Cain jealous of his brother. Cain killed Abel and was punished by HaShem to become a wanderer on Earth. Despite this, God placed a mark on Cain to protect him from being killed by others.

The Parasha concludes with a genealogy tracing ten generations from Adam, highlighting Enoch, who “walked with HaShem,” and ends with Noah, who “found favor in the eyes of God” amidst a corrupt generation.

FOR KIDS: 7 Questions for Bereshit (adapted from Chabad.org)

1. What did HaShem create on the third day of creation?
   • Light and darkness
   • Dry land and vegetation
   • Stars and the sun
2. From which fruit did God tell Adam not to eat?
   • The fruit of the Tree of Life
   • The fruit of the Tree of Knowledge
   • The fruit of the Magical Tree
3. Why was the first woman called Eve (Chavá)?
   • Because of the phrase “Am Israel Chai”
   • Because she was in “a constant state of joy” (hava nagila)
   • Because she was “the mother of all life” (Chai)
4. What were Cain and Abel’s occupations?
   • Both were hunter-gatherers
   • Abel studied Tora, but Cain leaned towards hunting
   • Cain was a farmer, and Abel was a shepherd
5. Who said the phrase: “Am I my brother’s keeper?”
   • Adam, who expressed gratitude to HaShem for making him an only child
   • Abel, who was ashamed of how Cain acted out of jealousy
   • Cain, who murdered his brother and didn’t want to admit it
6. What was the name of the third son born to Adam and Eve?
   • Shet (Seth) (“because HaShem has given me another child”)
   • Lemech (“what is the purpose of life on Earth?”)
   • There was no third son, only Cain and Abel

מי אל כמוך נשא עון ועבר על פשע לשארית נחלתו לא החזיק לעד אפו כי חפץ חסד הוא ישוב ירחמנו יכבש עונתינו ושליך במצלות ים כל חטאותם

On the first day of Rosh Hashana in the afternoon (this year, 5784, Rosh Hashana begins on Shabbat, so the Tashlikh is postponed to the second day) it is customary to perform a ceremony called “Tashlikh”. People approach a source of water: the sea, a river, or even a pool with water. There they recite a series of prayers, including reading the text from the prophet Micha, Chapter 7: 18-19 “Who is like You, O God, who forgives sin and ignores the transgressions of his people [Israel]? [Who is like You, O HaShem,] whose anger does not last forever, because you want to forgive us and [every year] you have mercy on us anew. You ignore our sins [when we repent] and cast all our transgressions to the bottom of the sea.”

ABRAHAM ABINU

Tashlikh is a relatively new tradition. It is not mentioned in the Talmud or in the Mishne  Torah of Maimonides or in the Shulchan Arukh of Ribbi Yosef Caro. The Maharil (1365 – 1427) was the first to mention it, Rabbi Ya’akob ben Moshe Levi Moelin, famous for his works recording the customs of Ashkenaz Jews in the Middle Ages. According to the Maharil, the tradition (not called yet “tashlikh”) consists of visiting a river on Rosh Hashana to remember the sacrifice of Yitschaq. The Midrash relates that when Abraham Abinu was going to Mount Moriah to comply with the Divine order, he found a river—which should not have been there—and when he tried to cross it, the water reached his nose… Despite having the best excuse to suspend the sacrifice of Isaac—which was ultimately canceled by Divine command—Abraham crossed the waters and went ahead with God’s command. Visiting the river reminds of Isaac’s sacrifice on Rosh Hashana and the unconditional willpower of Abraham Abinu to fulfill God’s word. And that is why we mention it in the Tefilot of this day many times Isaac’s sacrifice and we ask HaShem to consider the merit of Abraham’s unconditional obedience to judge us, his descendants with benevolence.

THE MYSTIC ASPECT OF TASHLIKH

Over time, and after Rabbenu HaAri HaQadosh praised this custom, the Tashlikh ceremony was adopted by practically all Sephardic communities. However, the meaning of this ritual was modified, focusing more on repentance than on the memory of Isaac’s sacrifice. The Sages of Kabbalah associated visiting the river or the sea with the Pasuk of the prophet Micha, which we mentioned above, where he says that HaShem “will throw all our transgressions to the bottom of the sea.” What does this idea mean? That when we do Teshuba, by sincerely repenting of our sins, God will completely erase our transgressions, “throwing them to the bottom of the sea”, a metaphorical and poetic expression that denotes a total elimination from the records.

THE OPPOSITION

Some famous rabbis, such as the Vilna Gaon or Rabbi Yechiel Epstein, author of the Arukh haShulkhan, opposed the Tashlikh ceremony. And the same was true of many Yemenite Jews—who strictly follow Maimonides—and the Sephardic Jews of the Spanish-Portuguese community in Amsterdam and London. Why did they oppose the Tashlikh? In some cases, like that of the Spanish-Portuguese community, for example, because they left out of the traditional liturgy, that is, of the formal prayers and the prayer book or Siddur, many of the customs come from Kabbalah. Why? Because after what happened with Shabetai Tzevi—the false Messiah who abused Kabbalah and presented it as superstition to give credibility to his false claims—they decided not to allow exposure of mystical ideas to the public, lest they be misinterpreted by the less informed people.

HOW NOT TO MAKE TESHUBA?

I believe that in the case of the Tashlikh, those fears were not unfounded! Why? Because many people innocently believe that by doing the Tashlikh “they are throwing all their sins into the sea”, and in this way, they are magically absolved of all their transgressions as if the Tashlikh were a replacement for the Teshuba. This is completely false. It is not what the prophet Micha says, nor is it what those who formulated this custom wanted to convey. The Teshuba or repentance process is very serious, and this mistaken—but very popular—view of Tashlikh trivializes it.

GENUINE TESHUBA

Teshuba is a “transformative” process through which we not only change what we do but also who we are. We dedicate Ten full days to Teshuba, from the beginning of Rosh Hashanah to the end of Yom Kippur.

I will briefly describe the main steps of true Teshuba:

1. When I hear the shofar, I must wake up from my spiritual lethargy and visualize that I am in front of God, who is my Creator and also “my Judge” (the one who evaluates whether or not it was worth creating me).

2. I must acknowledge before the Divine Court that I am responsible for my actions.

3. I must admit my mistakes and recognize my bad decisions during the past year.

4. I must also identify my bad habits, some of which are already part of my personality.

5. During the days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur, I must make amends and make amends to those I have wronged. And apologize and apologize to those whom I offended or hurt.

6. On Yom Kippur, I must confess my bad deeds, articulating in a low voice and feeling that I am before God my mistakes, my bad habits and my addictions.

7. I must ask the Creator to forgive me and give me another chance.

8. And finally, I must decide to change and improve and plan a serious and viable strategy so that the changes are real and permanent and that my resolutions are not just empty words.

The popular implicit idea that Tashlikh replaces Teshuba is outrageous and counterproductive. How can we replace this whole process of drawing closer to God, introspection, repentance and growth with the idea that one can “throw all his sins into the sea”?

CONCLUSION

Tashlikh is a deeply rooted custom, especially in Sephardic communities, and I do not intend to question it. However, teachers and rabbinical leaders must explain in their communities that the Tashlikh does NOT magically make our transgressions disappear. We recite the Tashlikh to remind ourselves that if we take the Teshuba process very seriously, repent, and change, God will forgive all our past transgressions, and there will be no records of them. The memory of my sins will disappear “as if the sea swallowed them.”

GRATITUDE

The first thing that our Parasha mentions is the commandment of the Bikurim, that is, bringing the first fruits that are harvested, to the Temple in Jerusalem. This act of thanksgiving to God for the land and its products applies to the seven fruits and products that characterize the land of Israel: wheat, barley, grapes, figs, pomegranates, olives, and dates. When the farmer arrives at the Temple, he recites a prayer of gratitude to God and presents the fruits to the priests. In our days, when we do not have the Temple anymore, one of the ways to thank God for what He grants us is by reciting the blessings for food. For example, there are six blessings that we say before eating. Each of these blessings refers to a particular type of food: 1. There is a specific blessing for bread (hamotsi lechem min haarets). 2. Another blessing, exclusively for wine (boré perí haguefen), 3. For the fruits of the land (boré perí ha-adama vegetables, vegetables, legumes, etc.). 4. For tree fruits (boré perí haets). 5. The blessing for products made with flour (boré miné mezonot), and finally 6. For all other types of food (sheakol nihyiá bidbaró, water, candy, ice cream, etc.). In this way, through these blessings, we continue to thank God for the privilege of having what to eat, as we did with the Bikkurim.

SHARING

The Tora mentions the tithes, like a 10% tax, which Jewish farmers were required to separate from their produce. The produce was not given to the State for redistribution, like US taxes, but was distributed directly from the farmer to the Priests, the Levites and the poor. During some harvest years, one of the tithes was taken to Jerusalem to be consumed by its owners there. All these rules for the farmer conclude with the declaration that all the duties of the tithes had been fulfilled, and with a beautiful prayer in which the Jewish farmer implores God to continue blessing the people of Israel and their land:  …וברך את עמך את ישראל ואת האדמה אשר נתתה   “O God, bless from heaven – Your holy abode – Your people Israel and the land You have given us, just as You promised our ancestors [that you will grant us] a land flowing with milk and honey.”

THE FULFILLMENT OF THE COVENANT

Moshe reminds the people to observe God’s commandments, the covenant Israel made with God:  Israel chose Israel to be his God, and God has chosen them to be His holy and protected nation. As a testimony to the covenant, Moshe instructs the leaders to take some large stones when crossing the Jordan River and to engrave the entire Tora on these stones. Another set of stones with the Torah engraved on them should also be erected on Mount Ebal. Moshe indicates that upon entering the land they have to proclaim the blessings and the curses (or warnings, tokhachot) on Mounts Gerizim and Ebal. The blessings will be granted to everyone who observes the Tora, and the curses will befall those who abandon it and do not behave properly with God and with their neighbor. The elders of the tribe of Levi will stand between the two mountains, and representatives of six tribes will stand on each mountain. The Levites and the Priests will then proclaim the blessings and warnings to the people.

BREACH OF THE COVENANT

Then the Tora dedicates a long text describing the hardships and suffering that will befall the Jews if they neglect the observance of the Covenant (in Hebrew: berit). The logic of this idea is as follows: as we previously saw, God is committed to protecting Israel as long as Israel behaves as God’s people. If the nation of Israel abandons the Covenant and walks away from God, is automatically moving away from Divine Protection, exposing itself to the mercy of its implacable enemies, who have no compassion for Israel. These tragic circumstances that vulnerable Israel will have to live, will begin with exile, when the Promised Land would organically “expel” its Jewish inhabitants, and would continue with the nations that receive the Jewish refugees. Many times these nations exploit their talents, and then abuse them, taking away their possessions and then their lives. In these circumstances, Divine protection is limited to the promise of collective survival, in other words, that God will never allow for the Jewish nation to disappear from the face of the Earth. God will receive the Jews back when they will reconsider and return to God [teshuba]. All these tragic warnings were already experienced by the Jewish people throughout its tragic history and especially during the Shoah.

To conclude and to illustrate the blessing of the Divine supervision of Israel, Moshe reminds the people of all the miracles that God has done for them, protecting them from the moment of their departure from Egypt until that very day.

This weekly section, KI TETSE, contains the largest number of precepts in the entire Tora: a total of 74 Mitzvot. We will now see some of these commandments.
Continuing with the topic of the previous Parasha, the laws of war, the Tora forbids a Jewish soldier to abuse a woman who is a prisoner of war (let’s say in passing that there is no precedent for such humane laws towards the enemy such as those indicated in the Torah). If a soldier desired a captive woman he had to formally marry her (after her conversion) and he could not mistreat her or discriminate against her in the future. She should become part of his family and the husband can not deny her rights or her children’s rights. All of these regulations were intended in the first place to discourage the soldier from cohabiting with the captive woman.
The Tora then explains the case of a son who is rebellious and extremely violent towards his parents and the theoretical possibility that he will be executed for his crimes against society.
The Tora discusses the laws of execution and the respect that must be given to a lifeless human body -even that of a criminal- that should be buried immediately. It was usual among other peoples and civilizations to expose the bodies of criminals in public, even for several days, so that the rest of the population could learn a lesson.
The laws of the return of lost property and the assistance that must be provided when an animal collapses under its load are described.
Cross-dressing is prohibited.
The Tora explains what to do when one finds a bird’s nest with eggs or chicks.
The laws regarding the safety fences and railings that must be built in places of risk, such as a roof, are detailed.
The law of tzitzit, the fringes on the corners of garments, is described.
The subject of adultery and rape is discussed. The Tora mentions the prohibition of incest and the case of Mamzer, or illegitimate child: that is particularly when a married woman (even if she has separated herself from her husband, but did not receive yet the Get, i.e., the official religious document of divorce) has a child with another man.
Some laws relating to marriage with other nations are described, specifying in which cases conversions are allowed and in which cases they are not.

The Tora explains the case of divorce. And the case of a newly married man who is exempt from serving in the army for the first year.
Some of the laws of loans and collateral are mentioned.
The Tora teaches the lender to be sensitive and compassionate towards the debtor.
The Tora also mentions the laws regarding wages and the right of the worker to receive his salary on time.
The Tora indicates that preferential treatment should be given to widows and orphans. In other civilizations, this preferential treatment was reserved for the nobles and the aristocracy. But the God of Israel cares for and protects the weakest.
The Tora teaches us to be honest in our business dealings and to make sure that the weights and measures that we use, as well as all our business practices, are fair and honest.
Finally, the Tora exhorts us to be aware of Amaleq, the archetype of the anti-Semite, and never forget that Amaleq’s intention is to eliminate us, as he tried to do when we left Egypt. Ignoring Amaleq’s anti-Semitic vocation, and its irrational hatred can be lethal for the individual Jew and for the Jewish people.

ואחר כן תבוא אליה…ולקחת לך לאשה
רש”י :לא דברה תורה אלא כנגד יצר הרע

WAR CRIMES
Throughout human history, the military leaders of all the peoples of this planet motivated their warriors to conquer the enemy, encouraging them with the promise of obtaining the tempting spoils of war: money, land… and the women of the enemy. They were part of the booty that belonged to the victor. And a great incentive to fight with more courage and adrenaline. Captured women were treated like objects, at the will of the soldier. After being abused the poor victims were killed or in the best case scenario sold as slaves. Wartime sexual assault was never questioned but normalized. And is not a  just thing of the past. In this article with the surprising title “”Challenging a tradition that enjoys impunity” we can read about the prevalence and normalization of wartime rape, even in the 20th century.

THE TORA IS DIFFERENT
In this week’s Parsha we see that the Tora demands of the Jewish soldier an exceptional behavior, completely different from the Gentile soldier. An attitude of respect towards the enemy that has no precedent or parallel in the annals of history, probably until well into the 20th or 21st century (remember, for example, Japan’s invasion of Nanjing, China, in 1937; or the behavior of the Russian soldiers in Germany, or even the abuse of ISIS in the XXI century). The Tora, with an incredible and perhaps unappreciated sense of anticipation for human rights, refers in this week’s Parsha to “the rights of female prisoners of war”. If the soldier wished to be intimate with that woman, he was obliged to marry her (something the Tora, in this suggestive way, discourages). If the Jewish soldier married her—these prisoners of war, or ‘ebed kena’aní, were automatically converted to Judaism—he had to allow her to mourn her family, grow her nails and shave her hair (following the customs of Gentile civilizations in biblical times) and only later could he marry her. Furthermore, once married, he could not discriminate against her or her children or make her work as a servant. All these “regulations” went through the soldier’s head and in a certain way made him reflect on whether it was really OK for him to get carried away by his impulse “now” and have to go through all this process “later”. The idea, obviously, is that all these regulations managed to dissuade the Jewish soldier from taking advantage of that defenseless woman.

POSTPONEMENT AS A STRATEGY IN LIFE

We should be amazed at the mental training, education, and control, that the Tora demands of a Jewish man. The Tora —attentive to the psychological state of a victorious soldier facing an attractive and defenseless woman in the enemy camp, where adrenaline easily combines with testosterone—doesn’t tell the soldier “you can’t be with that woman,” period. First, since most probably a simple “no” in these circumstances might bring the unintended consequences: abuse and rape. The Tora designed a strategy for the soldier to “take his time, think and reflect” and not get carried away by his impulse in the midst of war. This “mental mechanism” that the Tora designed is: positive procrastination. Rashi explains that this biblical commandment goes beyond the specific case of a soldier on the battlefield. The Tora  is teaching us a strategy to deal with our own yetser hara’: our physical urges, instincts and desires, when they are inappropriate. Instead of saying “NO”, the Tora tells the soldier: “YES, but NOT NOW.” Delayed gratification is a well-known psychological tool that educates the individual and trains him to control his impulses, and mature.

ONE NOW OR TWO A LITTLE LATER

The 1972 marshmallow experiment was a study on “delayed gratification.” It was led by psychologist Walter Mischel, a professor at Stanford University. In this study, children were offered a choice between a single marshmallow now or two marshmallows, if he or she waited a period of time. Once he explains this to the child, the researcher leaves the room for about 10 minutes and then returns with the second marshmallow in hand for those who resisted the temptation of immediate gratification. In follow-up studies, researchers found that children who were able to wait longer and control the urge to eat one marshmallow NOW tended to have better youth and adult life outcomes, better scores on SAT, educational achievements, and even the right body-mass index (weight), and other matters that demand “delaying gratification in the present” for greater gratification in the future

NEGATIVE PROCRASTINATION

But procrastination is a double-edged sword. Delaying a good and healthy project, which we know is necessary to improve our lives, is usually one of the most common psychological traps we set for ourselves. For example, when we need to lose weight, and we know we have to follow a strict diet, many times instead of saying to ourselves: “I’m not going to do it”, “I’m giving up good health”–an argument that our common sense and our guilt would not tolerate– we use the psychological strategy of procrastination, but in a negative way: we delay the diet from one week to the next. In this way, our guilt is silenced, because “we have decided to do it”,  but time will eventually bring oblivion, and the good resolution will probably die…

In the area of ​​our spiritual improvement, procrastination is also a lethal trap. During the month of Elul, and as we get closer to Rosh HaShana and Yom Kippur, we commit ourselves to adopting new habits and we resolve to make some major improvements in our Jewish lives. For example: “This year I will dedicate an hour every morning to study Tora”, “To read this very good book that has been highly recommended to me.” But then, when we find this project a bit difficult, we suspend it, but without giving it up completely! We tell ourselves that we are not really giving up. We’re just delaying this project until we find a better time. We convince ourselves that right now, we are very busy, business is very demanding, etc. …  The trap is that by not giving up on the idea altogether… by delaying this project into the future, we make it easier for our minds and guilt to abandon it, and eventually it will “die by procrastination”. The destructive side of our imagination — yester hara’ as Maimonides defines it — set us up psychologically, and we became victims of this old syndrome.