BO: Gaza y las diez plagas
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The story of the ten plagues is fascinating not only for its content but also for the sophistication of its narrative. The plagues begin with the confrontation of a shy Moses and an arrogant Pharaoh.
BLOOD
When Moshe turns the Nile River into blood, Pharaoh’s reaction consists of indifference and pride. The god “Nile”, one of the principal deities of Egypt, has been defeated, damaged, and wounded. The fishing industry collapsed. Pharaoh –who fed the Nile god with the bodies of the Hebrew infants–now sees with his own eyes how the blood emerges as a testimony of this genocide. But Pharaoh is (or acts as if he was) unimpressed. Far from conceding, he asks his magicians to replicate what appears to be a great act of illusionism, a formidable magic trick performed by Moshe and Aharon. When the magicians replicate the act, the monarch declares victory. He turns his back on Moshe (vayifen) and proudly retreats to the comfort of his palace, thinking that his wizards have won the contest.
FROGS
In the second plague, things begin to affect Pharaoh personally. A massive number of frogs came out of the river and invaded the homos or regular Egyptians and Pharaoh’s palace and rooms. Egyptians worshipped frogs as the gods of reproduction. But that power of reproduction is now out of control, infesting and damaging Egypt. The wizards, once again, can reproduce the plague. But Pharaoh realizes – a little late – that what he needs from his magicians is not just a demonstration that they can replicate the trick. He needs them “to stop the plague”, and control the frogs! When the wizards fail to do that, Pharaoh sends for Moses and Aharon and begins to negotiate. He lies. He tells them that if they stop the plague of frogs, he will accept their demands. Then, when the frogs leave, Pharaoh hardens his heart and breaks his promise, probably thinking that Moshe has exhausted all his magic and doesn’t let the people go.
LICE
The third plague is lice. Pharaoh confirms what he already suspected: his illusionists cannot stop the plagues. His wizards have been defeated, and he realizes that his gods have been affected. The Egyptians revered insects as the invisible, magical manifestation of divine spirits. And now those gods were also turning against the Egyptians.
THE ECONOMY
Egypt is the most prosperous and powerful nation in the Middle East. The only land in that arid region that, thanks to its mighty Nile river, does not depend on rain to survive. By the seventh plague, mentioned in our weekly Parasha, the Egyptian empire is in ruins, and Pharaoh’s advisers declare the plagues a national disaster. Everything that contributed to Egypt’s prosperity collapsed: first, the fishing industry, then the livestock, and now, the last plagues — hail and locust — destroyed the harvest. Now more desperate, Pharaoh wishes to continue the negotiations and is willing to offer more concessions, but at this point, Moshe does not give in.
DARKNESS
When the ninth plague, darkness, arrives, Egypt is completely paralyzed. This plague also has a devastating psychological effect on Pharaoh and his people. Why? Because the primary God of the Egyptians was “Ra”, the sun god. Egyptians are now witnessing the humiliating defeat of Egypt’s supreme God and discovering that no imaginary deity has any real power. Paganism collapsed. The plagues demonstrated that the Egyptian gods and deities were nothing but imaginary powers. Egyptians -and most importantly: the Hebrews– are beginning to understand that the invisible God of the Jews controls all forces of nature.
THE LAST RESOURCE
Then we have the last plague: the death of the firstborn, which brought the most severe psychological, devastating effect on Egyptian culture and theology. Egyptians were obsessed with death and claimed they possessed the secrets of immortality. When a nobleman: a Pharaoh, a priest, or a firstborn (who fulfilled priestly functions) was about to die, preparations would be made in advance to assist their spirits in their journey to immortality: bodies were mummified, servants were sacrificed, and treasures would be placed next to the nobleman’s body. Sometimes, a pyramid would be built to protect the body until reanimation happens. But when death was not natural but sudden, like in the Tenth Plague, these preparations for eternity were not obtained. With the end of the firstborn, the illusion of immortality came to an end.
WHO SAID THE WORD “DEATH” FIRST?
Finally, there is something else we should notice in the tenth plague. During the first eight plagues, Pharaoh defied Moshe and tried to humiliate him but never threatened Moshe with death. In the ninth plague, however, Pharaoh tells Moses. “You can leave, you and your people, the elderly and children, but you must leave your livestock here.” Pharaoh still plays games. He agrees to let the Jerw go, but in his terms and conditions: Do not take your assets with you as a guarantee that you will return. Moshe rejects the offer. And at that moment, the very nervous Pharaoh losses his patience, and “death” is mentioned for the first time: (Shemot, Exodus, 10:27): “Get out of here — he says to Moshe– and never see me again because the day that you would appear before me, you will die.” The death of the firstborn was the last resort, convincing Pharaoh to let the Hebrew slaves go. All the other warnings were ignored and failed to subdue the arrogance of the tyrant dictator. But it was not Moshe, but Pharaoh, who put “death” on the negotiating table for the first time.
אֲשֶׁ֨ר שֵׁ֤ם הָֽאַחַת֙ שִׁפְרָ֔ה וְשֵׁ֥ם הַשֵּׁנִ֖ית פּוּעָֽה
Pharaoh planned the final solution to the Jewish problem. The plan begins by recruiting collaborators. It was not easy to convince the Egyptians that they should denounce and send the Jews to labor camps (concentration), and then they should kill the Hebrew babies. After all, the Jews had been neighbors of the Egyptians for several generations. To gain the collaboration of his people, Pharaoh delivered the famous inflammatory anti-Semitic speech (see above) in which he accused the Jews of being traitors. And his plan worked.
CIVIL DISOBEDIENCE
The first phase of Pharaoh’s plan is done in secret. To prevent the demographic growth of the Jewish people, Pharaoh orders the midwives to “discreetly” kill the babies, probably by hitting their little heads on the stone on which Jewish women give birth. The main thing was to make it look like an accident. Surprisingly, the midwives decided to disobey Pharaoh! Sages have different opinions about the ethnicity of these midwives. Were they Hebrew or Egyptian? The biblical text is ambiguous. hamyaledot haibriot could be understood as “Jewish” midwives or Egyptian midwives “who assisted Jewish women in giving birth.”
Today, we will explore this second opinion, which seems to me to be the most compatible with the peshat textual narrative and represents, among others, the opinion of Rabbi Don Isaac Abarbanel ( מיתו ולדיהן, אבל היו מצריות מילדות את העבריות, ר”‘). These Egyptian midwives who refused to follow Pharaoh’s orders and let the children live are presented explicitly with their names “Shifrá” and “Puá.”
This extraordinary act of courage cannot be taken lightly.
Let’s analyze it a little more in-depth.
WHAT DID THE MIDWIVES DO?
The midwives disobeyed a direct order from the man with supreme authority in Egypt, considered “a god”, the ruler of the most powerful country in the world, at the time of Egypt’s highest peak, the beginning of the 18th dynasty. This was not an ordinary act of giving up assigned tasks; it was an act of rebellion, of civil disobedience, perhaps the first recorded in the history of humanity.
WHY DID THEY DO IT?
Why did the midwives let the Jewish children live? The Torah explains it with simple but very profound words. “vatirena hamyaledot et haEloqim,” these non-Jewish women “feared God.”
Although the topic of fear of God is very deep, I will mention three brief ideas about it.
First, in the Tora, fear of God (=Eloqim) appears many times in the context of the behavior of non-Jews. When it comes to a Jewish context, the fear of “HaShem” is usually mentioned with the Divine name in Hebrew (A-do -nay) . The fact that the midwives mentioned “God” and not “HaShem” gives more weight to the claim that these midwives were not Jewish.
Secondly, the “fear of God” prevents a person from doing something wrong, refusing to do something wrong “in the eyes of God.” To understand it better, let’s compare it with the “love of God”, which leads someone to act with generosity, dedication, and kindness. The love of God is active, and the fear of God is passive but no less important!
Third, and perhaps the most critical point, is that the fear of God is presented in opposition to the fear of man, in this case, the fear of a tyrant. Midwives embrace the fear of God and minimize the fear of Pharaoh. And in a way, they are willing to accept Pharaoh’s punishment – torture and execution – inspired by their fear of God.
WHAT PRICE DID THEY PAY FOR THEIR DISOBEDIENCE?
Pharaoh receives the complaint that they have disobeyed him and summons them to his court to demand an explanation. The midwives present their arguments and explain that Jewish women give birth naturally (חיות הנה), on their own, and when they arrive to “kill male Jewish babies by accident,” it is already too late for that not to be noticed. Although I do not remember any commentator explaining it this way, I think it is also possible that this bravery inspired Pharaoh’s daughter, who, defying her father’s will, saved a Hebrew boy from certain death. That child was Moses.
Then come the enigmatic Hebrew words vaya’as lahem batim —”he made for them houses.”
First interpretation: Pharaoh did not forgive them but sent them to prison (batim, “houses, cells”). Following this interpretation, these women paid for “houses of perpetual confinement” in jail for their brave actions to save the Hebrew children.
HOW WAS YOUR ACT OF BRAVERY REWARDED?
But there is a second possible interpretation of the Hebrew word “batim.” Memorable dynasty, nobility, and fame. Like when one says that he or she comes “from the House of David.” Always following the opinion that these midwives were not Jewish, it is possible that the token of gratitude for having saved so many lives of the people of Israel was that the Tora mentioned these women “explicitly” by their names: Shifrá and Puá.
When we pay close attention to the biblical text, peshat, we will realize that in the entire story of slavery and the birth of Moshe (first two chapters of Shemot), the Torah does NOT mention the names of any of its protagonists, not even Yochebed, Miriam or Bitia—Pharaoh’s daughter. The only exception is SHIFRA AND PUA. Thus, the act of bravery of these simple midwives was immortalized in the memory of the Jewish people, who repeat their names every time we read the Torah. It is worth mentioning – and realizing this contrast – that the Torah does not even mention Pharaoh by name, the most powerful man on earth; he ends up being an anonymous tyrant who does not deserve to be remembered and who, even Today, his identity is disputed.
YAD VASHEM: TRIBUTE WITH NAMES
The Tora pays tribute to the memory of these brave women, “mentioning their act of valor and their names.” This is the way that the Jewish people—and the State of Israel—pay tribute to the memory of the Gentiles who risked or sacrificed their lives to save Jewish lives. This biblical gratitude is repeated, for example, in the section of the YAD VASHEM Holocaust museum dedicated to “the righteous among the nations” חֲסִידֵי אֻמּוֹת הָעוֹלָם perpetuating their memory, the mention of their “yad”, actions, and his “Shem”, his name, just as the Torah did with Shifrah and Puah.
Today Israel has many – too many enemies who shamelessly celebrate the Hamas massacre, accuse Israel of defending itself and avoiding a new massacre, and practice the hypocrisy of double standards, such as the Secretary General of the United Nations and many more (yemach shemam = may their names be erased, forgotten), who will never take the side of truth, justice, and objectivity.
On the other hand, many, many non-Jews support us, silently or out loud, like the author and journalist Douglas Murray, Erin Molan, and so many others, who deserve our deepest gratitude and tribute.
When our patriarch Ya’aqob was getting ready to descend to Egypt and reunite with his son Yosef —Egypt’s second most powerful man— he feared and hesitated. HaShem then revealed Himself to Ya’aqob and said: “Do not be afraid to descend to Egypt, Ya’aqob. There I will make you a great nation”.
What was Ya’aqob afraid of?
PREVENTING THE INEVITABLE
Our last patriarch feared that his grandchildren and his great-grandchildren would assimilate into the prestigious Egyptian culture, and end up becoming “Egyptians of Semitic origin”. The assimilation of immigrants to a land that welcomes them is not only common, but normal and in a certain way, inevitable. In the United States there are grandchildren and great-grandchildren of Italian, Irish or Polish immigrants, who arrived here at the beginning of the 20th century or before!. Today, they consider themselves 100% American. They do not have, to my knowledge, any “existential” connection with the ancient European lands of their ancestors or their ancient traditions, except perhaps in culinary matters. This was Ya’aqob’s fear. That his descendants would assimilate and become 100% Egyptians.
Ya’aqob did two things to prevent assimilation. Firstly, according to our Sages, Ya’aqob sent Yehuda before the family arrived and entrusted him with the organization of a Hebrew school or Talmud Tora. In this way, they could continue to educate their children and theach them the values of Abraham Abinu.
Second, Ya’aqob asked (demanded!) Yosef to take his body and bury it in the land of Israel. In this way, his grandchildren and great-grandchildren would always keep in mind that their place is in Israel. In this sense, Yaaqob was the first Zionist.
YOSEF JOINS FORCES
Yosef, on the other hand, also took several measures to avoid assimilation.
First, he established his family in the land of Goshen, a separated land. And he made it clear to Pharaoh, and to his own family, that they would continue to dedicate themselves to raise cattle, a job that was taboo for Egyptians, because of their religious beliefs (they believed, like many Hindus today, that some animals embodied the spirit of gods or dead people, and need to be left alone, feed and even worshiped). In this way, Yosef wanted his family to maintain a limited social relationship with the Egyptians. And finally, Yosef, as his father did, made his descendants swear that his body will also be taken out of Egypt to the land of Israel.
APPEARANCE, NAMES AND LANGUAGE
And then, more. Jews refused to adopt certain key elements of Egyptian society. The children and descendants of Israel kept the traditional Semitic dress, and did not adopt the Egyptian dress code. Most Jewish men would grow a beard and wear special colored tunics. The image we see above shows a Semitic family –the Egyptians were not Semites– that came from Canaan in the 19th century b.c.e. We can clearly see the beards and tunics, as opposed to the shaven (or beardless) Egyptians with white tunics or skirts. The dress code of the descendants of Ya’aqob was different. You could tell visually who is a Jew by the way he or she is dressed.
Our Sages also explained that Jews did not change their Hebrew names for Egyptian names. Someone namd “Levi” or “Shimon” could only be a Jew.
Finally, Jews did not change their language. This means that parents spoke Hebrew at their house, and teachers probably spoke Hebrew in the schools. And perhaps, if the mother-language was Hebrew, when they spoke Egyptian Jews had a “Hebrew accent”.
WHAT DID WE LEARN FROM YOSEF?
Regarding the origin of these three elements, my son David shared with me this chiddush (= creative interpretation). He told me that these three elements were mentioned by the Tora in the story of Yosef. When he was forced to appear in front of Pharaoh and later in front of the Egyptian society. The very first thing that Egyptians did to Yosef, when he was taking out of prison, was shaving him and dress him like an Egyptian. Then, the Egyptians changed his Hebrew name”Yosef” for an Egyptian name, “Tsafenat Pa’aneah” (the decipherer of the occult). And finally, we also witness that Yosef embraces the Egyptian language as his first language, since when he communicated with his brothers, before revealing his true identity, he did so through an interpreter. I do not think it is coincidence that these same three elements –clothing, name, language– have been identified by our Sages (or perhaps by Yosef himself!) as the key elements that would lead to or accelerate the process of assimilation of a human group into its new home.
LEARNING FROM THE PAST
Summarizing and thinking about our present reality, we learn that 3500 years ago our ancestors did every possible effort to avoid assimilation by having their own Jewish education system; maintaining a very strong connection with the land of Israel; living in community; working in jobs that allows limited interaction with Egyptians; wearing something that indicated that they were Jewish (similar, for example, to a Kippa today); maintaining their Hebrew names and learning and speaking Hebrew: the language of Abraham, Yitshaq and Ya’aqob.
That’s the old good formula to prevent assimilation.
How is it possible that the people of Israel reproduced so greatly in Egypt within a period of just 210 years?
Let us recall that the Tora explicitly indicates just two things:
1- The number of Jewish men who arrived to Egypt was 70.
2- When they left Egypt, there were 600,000 men between the ages of 20 and 60 years old. Including the women, children and elderly we assume a number of approximately 3 million.
THE MORE COMPLEX RESPONSE
Rabbi Shemuel David Luzzatto (1800-1865) formulated a couple of ideas that, although not far from the peshat– that is, the literal meaning of the biblical text- are still a little bit controversial. He says that based on one explicit verse, Jews were in Egypt not for 210 years, but for 430 years (Shemot 12:40). He also states that when the Tora speaks of the generations that have passed since the jews arrived to Egypt (too few to cover more than 400 years) the text does not refer to “father > son” rather, “patriarch > descendants” (this article in Hebrew explains in more detail the opinion of Rabbi Luzzatto) .
THE SAGES’ RESPONSE
Rabbi Luzzatto’s position might have a textual merit, but let us first explore the feasibility of what our Sages themselves state: the amount of time that the Jews spent in Egypt was indeed 210 years (116 of which they had spent in slavery).
Our Sages, who also inquire as to how 70 families became 600,000, explain that Jewish women would birth to up to “6 children at a time” (bekeres echad). Yet I believe that we don’t even need to resort to the case of multiple sextuples to explain the increase in numbers.
THE EFFECTS OF MARRYING YOUNG
The most essential thing to understand is that 210 years could cover up to 10 generations- when taking into account that Jews, who have always practiced premarital abstinence, generally marry young. Until today, most observant Jews marry on average by 21-24 years of age. If 70 men arrived in Israel (with their wives) and each couple had, say a total of 6 children, in 6 generations will count: 3,265,920 (70 x 6 x 6 x 6 x 6 x 6 x 6).
We have an explicit example of a family of 6 generations in the case of Yehuda. Yehuda came down to Egypt and Nachson left Egypt, six generations later. Yehuda> Peretz> Hetsron> Ram> Aminadab> Nahshon. And Nahshon probably already had his own children when he left Egypt. Dibre haYamim I (7:22) counts 9 generations from Efrayim, the son of Yosef, to Yehoshua bin Nun.
RABBI ELYASHIV RESPONSE
I believe that the best way to grasp the realism of these Biblical numbers and the Rabbis’ opinions comes from the life of Rabbi Yosef Shalom Elyashiv z”l. This prestigious contemporary rabbi was the only child born to his parents after 17 years of marriage. He was born in 1910 and died in 2012. He reached a privileged age of 102 years.
Now, how many descendants did Rabbi Elyashiv left in this world when he passed away?
He had 12 children. And according to Wikipedia at the time of his death he had about 1,400 descendants, over 6 generations (See here). The secret? 1. His children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren also had a significant number of children (probably an average of 8 children) and 2. They married relatively young.
The reality is simple and indisputable: our health depends on two major factors:
The actions we take to care for our own health.
Factors that affect our health but are beyond our control.
When it comes to what we cannot control, we place our trust in HaShem.
That is why praying and asking HaShem to protect us from diseases, and to help us heal when we are ill, is essential.
At the same time, Judaism teaches that there is a strong interaction between HaShem and the physician.
Being a doctor is one of the noblest professions, because the physician acts as a proxy of God.
In my own words: HaShem heals us through the doctors.
When a surgeon operates, we believe that HaShem is guiding his hands.
For this reason, unlike certain other religions or cults, Judaism considers it a mitzva — an obligation — to visit doctors regularly and entrust ourselves to their care.
As the Tora commands:
וְנִשְׁמַרְתֶּם מְאֹד לְנַפְשֹׁתֵיכֶם
“You shall diligently guard your lives.”
Maintaining good health requires, first of all, routine medical checkups — especially when we have, or suspect we have, any symptoms of illness.
Keeping ourselves healthy also means staying away from bad habits.
For example: smoking.
If I smoke, I cannot expect HaShem to protect me from the consequences of tobacco.
Nor can I expect the doctor to perform miraculous treatments on my lungs while I continue to smoke.
In addition to avoiding bad habits, we must also adopt preventive habits.
Many of these “segulot” for preventing illness were formulated by haRambam — Maimonides — 800 years ago.
Maimonides, who was not only a great rabbi but also a famous physician, devoted an entire chapter of Mishne Tora (Hilkhot De’ot, chapter 4) to preventive medicine.
Anticipating the modern concept of “preventive medicine” by eight centuries, Maimonides discussed diet, sleep, physical exercise, hygiene, and more.
Let’s begin with what he taught about eating habits.
The first thing we must improve, according to Maimonides, is our eating. He teaches us that we should eat in moderation: eat to live, and not live to eat.
In De’ot, chapter 4, halakha 2, Maimonides warns about overeating — in Hebrew, akhila gasa — gluttony:
“One should not eat until his stomach is full, but only up to three-quarters of his total satisfaction.”
In other words, it is actually good to feel a little hungry after we finish eating. It is a desirable and healthy habit.
We live in a time when most of us, Barukh HaShem, have food on our tables.
In the United States, for example, the major public health problem is no longer malnutrition, but overeating.
Obesity has become an epidemic and is now the number one health risk for millions of people.
Maimonides said it explicitly in 4:15:
“Overeating (akhila gasa) is toxic to the body of any person. It is the main source of all diseases. Most illnesses that afflict a person are caused either by eating harmful foods or by filling the stomach and overeating — even with healthy foods.”
He adds that King Solomon already warned about this in Mishle (Proverbs) 21:23:
“Whoever cares for his mouth and his tongue preserves his soul from anguish.”
“Caring for his mouth” includes avoiding harmful foods and refraining from overeating.
Finally, I leave for the end what I consider the most practical and powerful piece of advice from Maimonides regarding eating habits:
4:1 — “Do not eat unless you are hungry.”
SEGULA: Repeat these words of Maimonides in Hebrew with nekudot:
לְעוֹלָם לֹא יֹאכַל אָדָם אֶלָּא כְּשֶׁהוּא רָעֵב וְלֹא יִשְׁתֶּה אֶלָּא כְּשֶׁהוּא צָמֵא
Eating healthily and avoiding overeating will help us enjoy a long life of good health.
Yosef sees his brothers, who betrayed him 20 years ago and sold him into slavery. They came to Egypt to get food. Now, he has to decide what to do with his siblings: take revenge on them, ignore them, forgive them?
Yosef’s first option, the most “average”, course of action, would have been revenge. He suffered tremendously all those years away from his father’s home. The sadness and pain of slavery were undoubtedly overwhelming. When Yosef’s brothers come to Egypt, he is in a position of power and can “make them pay for all the suffering they caused him.” But revenge was not what moved Yosef. Yosef had “unilaterally” overcome his resentment. How do we know? When his first child is born, he names him “Menashe”; that is: “God has benefited me so much that made me forget (nashani) all the suffering” caused by my brothers. Yosef did not allow the pain and anger of the past to define his future. Yosef was not thinking of revenge. He had gotten over that self-destructive feeling.
IGNORE?
Yosef’s other option was to “ignore” his brothers. If Yosef didn’t want revenge, he could have chosen to be indifferent, pretend he didn’t see them, and continue his extraordinary life and brilliant career in Egypt, the most powerful country of antiquity. Why would Yosef want to rebuild his relationship with his brothers, who acted worse than his worst enemies? He didn’t need them in his life again! But Yosef does not ignore them. When he sees them, he comes up with a master plan of several moves: he accuses them of espionage and demands that they bring in Binyamin, his younger brother. When Binyamin arrives, he imprisons him on a false accusation and proposes to the brothers that they return home “safe and sound,” leaving Binyamin as his slave in Egypt. In this way, Yosef reenacts and reconstructs –in the best or only way possible– a scenario similar to the one that took place 20 years ago. Yosef allows them to redeem themselves and show that they are now willing to sacrifice one for the other. When Yosef realizes that his brothers have learned their lesson and are unwilling to repeat their mistakes, he reveals his identity and forgives them.
RECONCILIATION
The level of forgiveness we see in Yosef’s story is exceptional and almost superhuman. Since Yosef does not forgive them with a speech full of reproaches or resentment, it is a total reconciliation. In the first place, Yosef’s gesture is selfless since Yosef has nothing to “gain” in terms of his career or prestige in Egypt by forgiving his brothers.
Yosef acts out of pure altruism and extraordinary kindness. Secondly, Yosef takes one more unexpected step. Far from accusing them, he does his best to relieve his brothers of their guilt and tries to convince them — with a euphemistic version of the events– that the tragic actions of the past “were not their responsibility.” Those were events orchestrated by the Almighty to save millions of Egyptians and his own family from starvation. Far from looking for distance, Yosef offers his brothers to live “with him” in the prestigious neighborhood of Goshen in the Nile Delta. Yosef achieves what seemed impossible: reuniting a family that was completely broken. Rabbi Sabato, from Yeshiva Birkat Moshe, explains that Yosef is called Yosef haTzadiq, Yosef the Just, not only because of what he went through (or did not go through) with Potiphar’s wife but because of his incredible ability to forgive.
EXONERATION
Dr. Stephen Marmer, a psychiatrist at the University of California, UCLA, describes three types of forgiveness: 1. Release. 2. Tolerance and 3. Exoneration (we are referring here to forgiveness between family members, friends, and colleagues, and not to forgive crimes, terrorism, etc.).
“Release” is unilateral forgiveness. In other words, when the offender does not apologize to the victim and does not have the will to repair or ask forgiveness. However, the victims choose to “forget” the incident, thus preventing the toxic memory of the offender from living inside their minds and freeing themselves from the poisonous effects of resentment. There is no reconciliation here, and the parties remain estranged.
“Tolerance” is when the victim has received a partial or insincere apology because the offender, for example, has not taken sufficient responsibility for their actions. However, the victim chooses to forgive and rebuild the relationship since it is important for him to maintain it, although now he will act more cautiously.
“Exoneration” is the highest level of forgiveness, which occurs when one seeks to restore the relationship to the level before the offense occurred. Exoneration often occurs when the victim realizes (or voluntarily or strategically chooses to assume) that the offense was an accident. Or the offender acted impulsively without realizing they were causing you pain. Or when the offender sincerely regrets his mistake, takes full responsibility, and apologizes for what he did.
Let’s go back to Yosef. First, and even before he saw his brothers, Yosef unilaterally decided to forgive, and as an act of free will, he freed himself from resentment. Later, he chose not to ignore his brothers and sought to reconnect with them. But his nobility did not end there. Yosef completely forgave his brothers. He understood – or chose to assume – that they acted impulsively, and now they did Teshuba. That is, they repented and changed. Yosef does not turn the page. Yosef starts a new book. The new relationship between the brothers will not be as it was in the past. It’s going to be better! This type of reconciliation and exoneration between siblings, friends, or husband and wife can be “magical”, and it has the power to take us from the depths of hostility to an unimaginable, higher than before, level of relationship, where the sky is the limit.