Today is the 29^th of Av, 5770

Last week we described the two Mitzvot which regulates parents/children relationship: ‘honoring parents’ and ‘respecting parents’.

Respecting parents is a way of establishing clear lines: “I am the parent and you are the child. We are not equals”. This distance is absolutely necessary for the child, not for the parents’ ego. These principles set up the boundaries of authority, without which a child cannot be educated.

*A child should not sit in a place that is designated for his father or mother. For example, in his mother’s seat at the dinner table or at his father’s special easy chair, or at his father seat in the Synagogue or at work.

This rule applies even when the parents are not present there or are not going to sit in that place.

If there is no fixed place for the parent to sit, then the son/daughter can sit anywhere. In my house, for instance, we eat dinner in the kitchen during weekdays and I would not sit in the same place all the time.

*There is another very important Mitzva: to stand up in respect when your father or mother comes into the room. Or, if the parent is talking to his child, it’s considered disrespectful for the son to sit while his parent is standing.

As a general rule, a parent has the right to suspend his ‘honor’ and allow his child to sit or not to stand up, etc.

24^th of Av, 5770

Besides shellfish (shrimps, oysters, lobsters, etc) what other ‘popular’ fish are non Kosher and why?

Examples of non-kosher fish:

Catfish – it lacks scales entirely. Interesting for the kosher consumer to note, catfish (not Kosher!) is reported to have a similar taste to the increasingly popular tilapia (kosher!) Catfish and tilapia fillets look almost identical, though catfish is notably cheaper. It is therefore quite possible that an unscrupulous fish retailer might switch the two!

Basa or Tra (also called “China sole”) – (family Pangasiidae) are currently the subject of both nomenclature debates and antidumping litigation. Vietnamese importers were marketing them as catfish, to which they are nearly identical. Whether they are in fact catfish or not, they are not kosher.

Examples of NON-Kosher fish with ‘scales’

Swordfish has scales but they are embedded to such an extent that it is impossible to remove them without making a hole or that its scales would fall off during its development, rendering swordfish as non-kosher.

Sturgeon definitely has scales, but it is not kosher. Its scales are classified as “ganoid”, which means that they are covered with ganoin (similar in texture to fingernails) and cannot be removed without tearing the skin.

Burbot has cycloid scales (one of the types often referred to as “always kosher” ) yet because they are embedded, this fish is not kosher.

Sand lances may have tiny scales, but since they are not visible, this fish is not kosher.

Adapted from www.kashrut.org and www.ou.org

23rd day of Av, 5770

Today is the 19^th of Av, 5770

“A core predictor of which families produce children who grow up to be described as “mentchen” (decent and good) children is the amount and quality of time spent by parents with their children.

In a fascinating series of studies that have recently received media attention, researchers have found a direct correlation between the number of times a week parents eat dinner with their children and the risk of abusing drugs. Families that eat dinner together once a week have children with lower risk for drug-abuse than those that never do.

With each increasing night that parents and children eat together, drug abuse risk decreases to the point that there is virtually no risk for drug abuse in families in which parents and children dinner together every night.

The importance of eating dinner together is not the ‘eating’ or dinner; it’s the uninterrupted, focused interaction that seems to bear such valuable fruit” (from the book ‘Balanced Parenting’ by R. and D. Pelcovitz).

Shabbat dinner -among other things- creates a sense of belonging and responsibility: a young adult who spends quality time with his family will think twice before doing a wrong thing. Because he realizes that whatever negative action he might do, it will bear unwanted consequences to all his beloved relatives.

Shabbat dinner is a God-given gift -a night which enriches our souls and strengthens our family.

Shabbat Shalom!

Candle lighting 7:55 PM.

17^th of Av, 5770

The Torah says that fish or any creature that lives in the water must have both scales (kaskekset) and fins (senapir) in order to be considered Kosher. The rabbis of the Talmud teach us that all fish that have scales also have fins, so in practice Kosher fish are identified simply by their scales. Obviously, crustaceans (such as lobster) and other shellfish (such as clams) are not Kosher because they lack scales.

Not all scales are considered Kosher by Jewish Law. It must be removable without damage to the skin of the fish. Sturgeon, although it has primitive bony plates on its sides, is not considered Kosher because the scales cannot be removed without damaging the flesh. Sharks are similarly not Kosher, because their skin is covered with tiny teeth-like armor, which are not considered scales at all.

Jewish Law requires only a minimum number of scales to accord a fish Kosher status. Tuna, for example, have very few scales, yet are nevertheless considered a Kosher fish.

There are a few more factors that complicate this determination. For example, a given species of fish may be known by five or more names, some of which are common to known Kosher species. “Rock Salmon”, for example, is a non-Kosher fish (otherwise known as Atlantic Wolfish), and bears no relationship to the common Kosher species of true salmon.

For a list of Kosher and non kosher fish see: http://www.kashrut.com/articles/fish/

Adapted from The Fortunes of a Fish by Rabbi Blech.

16th of Av, 5770

I’ve got a few new books in Israel. One of them is BET ELOKIM written by Rabbi Moshe ben Yosef Miterany (Salonica 1505- Jerusalem 1585)

In section # 1 he talks about Tefila and the first thing he teaches us is about the attitude of humbleness that we have to show when praying to God Almighty. We cannot ‘demand’ from God to fulfill our needs or requests. We must realize that God Almighty does not owe us anything. Humbly, we approach Him, asking Him and begging Him to hear our prayers knowing that we don’t necessarily deserve His attention or response… We should see ourselves like a poor person asking for charity, requesting a ‘favor’ not a ‘payback’.

All the Mitzvot we do are not ‘favors’ for God for which we should expect God’s attention. On the contrary: a Jew ‘owes’ God the privilege of having being chosen by Him and every Mitzva we do, it’s ultimately for our own benefit: to refine our character and to feed our soul with the nutrients necessary for the world to come. God Almighty is like a father that loves his son and if he demands from his son, for instance, to study, is having his son’s interest in mind, not his own!

Similarly, every Mitzva we do by the command of God it was given by Him for our benefit.

This attitude of humbleness and acknowledgment to HaShem is a prerequisite for a sincere prayer.

Read more about rabbi Moshe Miterani, the MABIT: http://www.jewishencyclopedia.com/view.jsp?artid=294&letter=T#1241