Candle Lighting

Today is the 30th day of Shebat (Rosh Chodesh Adar), 5771

 

The Mitzvah of lighting the Shabbat candles is one of the special Mitzvot for Jewish woman. Our Rabbis instituted this Mitzvah to honor the Shabbat and promote Shalom Bayit, peace at home.

The traditional custom is to light two candles, one representing Shamor and the other one representing Zakhor.

Shamor and Zakhor are the two versions (like: the ‘two sides’ of the coin) of the first word of the fourth commandment. Shamor means, ‘keeping Shabbat’, in the sense of refraining ourselves from transgressing the Shabbat working or doing any forbidden Melakha (creative tasks, as defined by the Halakha). And Zakhor includes the performance of all positive things we do to honor the Shabbat.

1. Using festive clothing and having special food for Shabbat.

2. Welcoming Shabbat with the Kiddush.

3. Honoring Shabbat when it finishes, ‘accompanying’ its departure by the Habdalah ceremony, same as one would do with an important guest: welcoming him when he comes to our house and accompanying him as he leaves our house.

Although the woman of the house has priority to light Shabbat candles, if she is no home or if she is not able to light the candles, the husband or one adult member of the family could light the candles, and recite the corresponding blessing.

When single girls or boys are away from home, for example, if they have to spend Shabbat in their dorms, or when a husband is in a business trip and spends Shabbat in a hotel room out of town, they should light the candles in their room and say the blessing for it.

 

Shabbat Shalom!

Candle lighting in NYC: 4:58 PM

Shabbat Ends in NYC: 6:07 PM

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



Meat and milk, the basics

Today is the 28th day of Shebat , 5771

The Torah forbids consuming meat with milk.

In the Book of Shemot (23, 19) the Torah says: “You shall not cook the calf in its mother milk”.

The Rabbis explained that the prohibition to mix milk with meat does not refer exclusively to the cow’s milk with her calf’s meat, but to any meat of a mammal (cows, goats, sheep) with milk from any other Kosher mammal.

The Torah, explains Maimonides, brought the case of the calf and its mother’s milk because that was the most common “meal” (a palatial meal, actually) done with milk and meat in Biblical times. The Torah presented that case as an illustration of the general rule, not as a specification.

The Rabbis extended the prohibition of milk and meat to any other ‘meat’, including bird’s meat (chicken, turkey, duck) but they excluded fish (fish and meat belongs to a different category) and bird’s eggs.

Why meat and milk is forbidden? There are some Mitzvoth (a.k.a. Chukim) for which the Torah does not bring any explicit reason. However, a Jew is not prevented from researching and finding numerous benefits behind the Mtizvot. For example, much has been said and written about the harms for digestion at the level of enzymes, if meat and milk are eaten together. A second more mystical approach indicates that meat and milk actually represent two different opposite states which should be kept apart: Milk represents life. Is taken from a living animal and gives life to the calf. While meat is part of a dead animal’s body.

More about meat and milk, from
www.ou.org: http://www.ou.org/torah/article/mitzvah92

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



Lending money and paying back

Today is the 26th day of Shebat , 5771

As we have explained last week, one of the 613 Mitzvot of the Torah is lending money, without interest, to a fellow Jew who needs it (Shemot 22, 24). Helping a needy person through a free loan is the highest form of Tzedaka. However, harassing a needy person into paying back the loan when one knows he/she lacks the money at the moment, is a very grave transgression which is explicitly forbidden in the Torah.

ILLUSTRATION: David, knowing that Josh’s business is in the verge of insolvency, offers to lend him the $10k needed to keep afloat. “You’ll pay me when things get better again” said David to Josh.

David has just fulfilled a great Mitzva. Not only did David help a fellow Jew financially, but he did this without affecting Josh’s dignity. In fact, he prevented Josh from getting to the point that he would need to ask for financial help.

As long as David knows that Josh cannot yet repay the loan, he is forbidden from harassing Josh. The Halakha is that David cannot even “inadvertently” pass by Josh’s place in order to remind him of the loan, if David knows that Josh doesn’t yet have the money.

On the other hand, Josh is forbidden from withholding payment longer than necessary. In other words, if Josh does have the money, it is forbidden for him to unduly delay paying back David.

MUST MUST SEE (and forward to all your friends!):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=63hTOaRu7h4

The painful –but simplest- explanation to understand the conflicts in the Middle
East

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC 130 Steamboat Rd. Great Neck NY 11024



At what point does Shabbat start?

Officially, Shabbat starts Friday at sunset (sheqi’a). Sunset or sundown occurs when the sun disappears from the horizon. For centuries, it wasn’t easy to determine when sunset precisely occurred: it changes virtually every day and if it is a cloudy day, sunset could only be estimated. (See how to find out sunset time, in the link below)
Now, although Shabbat officially begins at sunset, we receive Shabbat earlier than sunset time. Why? Because we have a Mitzva to add time to Shabbat, before it starts and after it finishes. So we take a few minutes before sunset and convert them into Shabbat time, showing our enthusiasm to start Shabbat. And we do the exact same thing at the end of Shabbat, extending Shabbat for a few more minutes, to show that we don’t want Shabbat to be over yet.
How long before sunset should we receive Shabbat? Technically, the Mitzva of adding time does not specify how much time to add, as long as we add some time before sunset. The conventional custom, however, is to add 18 minutes before sunset. In most calendars, nowadays, we are given already the time of candle lighting, 18 minutes before sunset. For example: today, Friday January 28th, sunset in NYC is at 5:08, so virtually every calendar will show Candle Lighting time at 4:50 PM (+1/-1min).
In case of any need, however, one can still light the candles, drive or do anything up to five minutes before sunset. (Five minutes is not just an addition but also a safe ‘time-buffer-zone’).

Candle lighting in NYC: 4:50 PM
Shabbat Ends in NYC: 5:59 PM

You can find out the exact time of sunset (+1/-1 min) checking in any local newspaper,

or online at http://www.ou.org/holidays/calendar#calendar



MONETARY LAWS: The eighth level of Tsedaka

Today is the 21th day of Shebat , 5771

Tsedaka is usually translated as “charity” but in Hebrew, Tsedaka means “justice” or “the practice of social justice”. Tsedaka is one of the foundations of Judaism and a Mitzva which should be practiced by all.

When a Jew attends a Minyan every day he has the opportunity to do Tsedaka by giving a small amount of money during vaibarekh David when we mention veAta moshel bakol , ” God, You are in control of everything”, acknowledging that God is also in control of whatever money I will have at the end of the day. We believe that despite our efforts, God is ultimately in charge of the final balance of our banks accounts. He is in control of all unpredictable variables which can easily increase or decrease our final balance.

A person who does not attend a daily Minyan should still be diligent and put even a small amount of money everyday in a Tsedaka box.

But, is giving a dollar bill or three coins a day the only form of performing the Mitzvah of Tsedaka?

There many ways of doing Tsedaka.

In his Laws of Tsedaka (Matanot Aniyim) Maimonides enumerates eight levels of doing
this Mitzvah.

The first level -the highest- is when one offers someone a job or gives him a loan. By giving a job one is avoiding from the receiver to depend on charity and he is able to earn money by his own . Giving a loan interest-free will help the man in need to stand on his feet and eventually, to be able to repay his debt. These are two examples of doing Tsedaka without causing embarrassment.

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime”

TSEDAKA as Justice, by Aish. Click here to read.
http://www.aish.com/jl/i/i/48944181.html

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



SHABBAT and plowing (Choresh)

Today is the 16th day of Shebat , 5771

 

Choresh, or plowing, is one of the thirty-nine melachot –works or activities– prohibited on Shabbat.

Plowing is the hardest work of farming. When you want to plant seeds, like wheat seeds for example, and harvest them, you need to plow the soil first. Loosening up the ground around those seeds so that water will get to them, and so that they will be able to grow. You can plow even with a strong stick: you stick it in the ground and wiggle it around, and then drop a seed in, covering it loosely with dirt.

But when you want to plow an entire field it’s faster to use a real plow, pulled by horses, donkeys or an ox. As the animals push it along through the dirt, the soil gets ready to host the seeds.

On Shabbat it is prohibited to plow the ground –to level it off or make holes in it, like the holes used for planting seeds or for planting trees. Included in this prohibition is any preparation or improvement of land for agricultural use.

Involuntary plowing should be prevented as well. This includes for example carrying a heavy object -a very heavy chair for example- in soft ground, unintentionally making furrows. Making holes or furrows in the ground and making mere compressions in the ground is different. The latter, which is what wheels of a wheelchair or a baby carriage might do to the ground, is permissible on Shabbat.

Shabbat Shalom!!!

Candle lighting in NYC: 4:41 PM
Shabbat ends in NYC: 5:50 PM

 

 

Click here to see real Plowing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SocUHhtLIIY&feature=related

 

 

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



HONORING PARENTS and other relatives.

Today is the 12th day of Shebat , 5771

The Mitzva of honoring parents extends to other relatives. The main difference between our parents and any other relatives is that toward our parents we have two obligations:
1. Honor and 2. Obedience/respect of their authority (mora). While toward other relatives is limited to honoring.
1. One should honor his older siblings. For example, it is customary that a younger brother or sister will stand up when the older brother goes (‘ole) to the Torah, etc.
2. In our community grandchildren stand up for their grandparents when they go to the Torah. They would also kiss their grandparents hands when they come down from an ‘alia, as a sign of love and honor, and after Friday night’s Kiddush. Grandparents are also honored in special occasions, like being the Sandak in a Berit Mila, etc.
3. Honoring also applies to one’s in-Laws. We learn this from David haMelekh who called King Shaul : ‘My father’ (Shmuel I, 24, 11. David was married to Shaul’s daughter, Mikhal) that one should honor his father and mother in-Law as one honors his own parents. This rules applies even if one’s father or mother in-Law are of a young age. The son/daughter in law should stand up for them, etc. In Sephardic communities it is also customary not calling in-Laws by their first name, but addressing them with the honor one addresses an important person. Or calling them ‘father’ / ‘mother’ as one does with his own parents.
(Yalkut Yosef, Kibbud Ab vaEm, bet. 496-515)



Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



SHABBAT and watering plants and flowers (Zore’a)

Today is the 9th day of Shebat , 5771

There are 39 categories of Melakha (creative tasks) that are forbidden of Shabbat.

One of them is Zore’a, which literally means: sowing.

This prohibition includes all activities which will make or help any plant to grow.
It is forbidden to sow seeds, to plant trees or flowers, etc. Trimming a tree, which will cause the branches to regrow stronger, is also considered a derivative of ‘sowing’.
One of the most common activities included in this melakha is watering plants, trees, flowers or grass on the ground or in planters: all these activities are not permitted during Shabbat. (As we have previously explained, it is permitted to program before Shabbat a sprinkle or an irrigation system that will be automatically activated on Shabbat).
Although watering plants is forbidden, according to the Sephardic custom, it is permitted to place on Shabbat plants like mint branches or myrtle branches or a bouquet of flowers on a vase with water. It is also permitted to add water into that vase. This is because these plants are already detached from the ground and we are just delaying their dryness, not causing them to grow (rishba, birke yosef).
On that note, many Rabbis will authorize to place flowers on water on Shabbat only if the flowers have already blossomed, and not when the flowers are still incipient and closed.
(Yalkut Yosef)

Shabbat Shalom!

Candle lighting in NYC: 4.33 PM
Shabbat ends in NYC: 5.42 PM

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



The middle of the road

Today is the 7th day of Shebat , 5771

Maimonides explains that when we detect in our personalities an inclination toward one extreme, we should aspire to correct it, bringing ourselves to the center. Sometimes we should force ourselves and ‘act’ for a while on the opposite equidistant side. In this way, with time we will attain the desired balanced ‘golden’ way.

In De’ot Chapter 1, 4 haRambam brings some examples:

“A man should not be wrathful and easily angered, and from the other side he should not be cold as a corpse, having no feelings and being moved by no thing. A man should adopt a middle-of-the-road-way, displaying anger only for a very serious matter and only in order to prevent that matter from happening again”.

In other words, Maimonides prescribes to practice a ‘controlled anger’ and display it just for practical purposes. Anger should ‘never’ come as an impulsive blind reaction.

“Similarly” -Maimonides continues- “a man should not desire more than what he needs for his body and for whatever necessary to live. Like the Pasuk says: a righteous man eats to satisfy his soul(=body)”.

haRambam is giving us an illustration in the area of overeating or with being obsessed about ‘what’ one is going to eat next. He is definitely not referring to poor people who have nothing to eat but to those who are wealthy and are permanently thinking ‘what’ (or in which restaurant) are they going to eat next.

A righteous person does not think too much about food and eats what and when he or she needs.
For previous Halakhot on this matter see here the section ‘Kosher Habits’

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC 130 Steamboat Rd. Great Neck NY 11024



Balanced parenting

Today is the 5th day of Shebat , 5771

Honoring parents is one of the most important Mitzvot of the Torah.
Children are commanded to respect, obey and honor their parents.
From the other side, parents are advised to inspire their children to respect and care of them, behaving toward them in an honorable and affectionate way. Parents are expected to build a relationship with their children balancing ‘authority’ with ‘love’. When one of these two elements is not there, the relationship will turn into a dysfunctional one.
The rabbis offered some guidelines and examples on how to maintain this delicate balance.
A parent should not be extremely demanding with his children, imposing on them duties they won’t be able to perform. Because in this way his children will be involuntarily forced to transgress the Mitzvah of respecting and obeying one’s parents.
A parent is also advised to inspire respect (yir-ah) without imposing fear (pachad) in his home. Unlike respect-balanced-with-love, fear is recognized when a son or a daughter would be terrified to tell his or her parent about a mistake he or she made. If a son does not feel comfortable talking to his parents about a mistake he made, the possibility of a healthy dialogue is compromised. The Rabbis explain that ‘respect’ based on intimidation is a formula for long-term serious problems within the family. (The same is true for husband and wife).
(From Yalkut Yosef, Kibbud Ab vaEm, Bet, 317-325)

RECOMMENDED BOOK ON JEWISH PARENTING


The Delicate Balance
Love and Authority in Torah Parenting by Sarah Chana Radcliffe

This timeless parenting book, now back in print by a popular author, educator, and parenting expert, shows us how to win the whining war the Jewish way. Exploring a complete range of parenting strategies including the details of conveying love, building trust, and developing effective disciplinary skills, it presents explicit parenting scenarios with “right way” and “wrong way” dialogues to illustrate essential parenting skills and their consequences.
(See www.targum.com or your local Jewish bookstore)

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024