At what point does Shabbat start?

Officially, Shabbat starts Friday at sunset (sheqi’a). Sunset or sundown occurs when the sun disappears from the horizon. For centuries, it wasn’t easy to determine when sunset precisely occurred: it changes virtually every day and if it is a cloudy day, sunset could only be estimated. (See how to find out sunset time, in the link below)
Now, although Shabbat officially begins at sunset, we receive Shabbat earlier than sunset time. Why? Because we have a Mitzva to add time to Shabbat, before it starts and after it finishes. So we take a few minutes before sunset and convert them into Shabbat time, showing our enthusiasm to start Shabbat. And we do the exact same thing at the end of Shabbat, extending Shabbat for a few more minutes, to show that we don’t want Shabbat to be over yet.
How long before sunset should we receive Shabbat? Technically, the Mitzva of adding time does not specify how much time to add, as long as we add some time before sunset. The conventional custom, however, is to add 18 minutes before sunset. In most calendars, nowadays, we are given already the time of candle lighting, 18 minutes before sunset. For example: today, Friday January 28th, sunset in NYC is at 5:08, so virtually every calendar will show Candle Lighting time at 4:50 PM (+1/-1min).
In case of any need, however, one can still light the candles, drive or do anything up to five minutes before sunset. (Five minutes is not just an addition but also a safe ‘time-buffer-zone’).

Candle lighting in NYC: 4:50 PM
Shabbat Ends in NYC: 5:59 PM

You can find out the exact time of sunset (+1/-1 min) checking in any local newspaper,

or online at http://www.ou.org/holidays/calendar#calendar



MONETARY LAWS: The eighth level of Tsedaka

Today is the 21th day of Shebat , 5771

Tsedaka is usually translated as “charity” but in Hebrew, Tsedaka means “justice” or “the practice of social justice”. Tsedaka is one of the foundations of Judaism and a Mitzva which should be practiced by all.

When a Jew attends a Minyan every day he has the opportunity to do Tsedaka by giving a small amount of money during vaibarekh David when we mention veAta moshel bakol , ” God, You are in control of everything”, acknowledging that God is also in control of whatever money I will have at the end of the day. We believe that despite our efforts, God is ultimately in charge of the final balance of our banks accounts. He is in control of all unpredictable variables which can easily increase or decrease our final balance.

A person who does not attend a daily Minyan should still be diligent and put even a small amount of money everyday in a Tsedaka box.

But, is giving a dollar bill or three coins a day the only form of performing the Mitzvah of Tsedaka?

There many ways of doing Tsedaka.

In his Laws of Tsedaka (Matanot Aniyim) Maimonides enumerates eight levels of doing
this Mitzvah.

The first level -the highest- is when one offers someone a job or gives him a loan. By giving a job one is avoiding from the receiver to depend on charity and he is able to earn money by his own . Giving a loan interest-free will help the man in need to stand on his feet and eventually, to be able to repay his debt. These are two examples of doing Tsedaka without causing embarrassment.

“Give a man a fish; you have fed him for today. Teach a man to fish; and you have fed him for a lifetime”

TSEDAKA as Justice, by Aish. Click here to read.
http://www.aish.com/jl/i/i/48944181.html

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



SHABBAT and plowing (Choresh)

Today is the 16th day of Shebat , 5771

 

Choresh, or plowing, is one of the thirty-nine melachot –works or activities– prohibited on Shabbat.

Plowing is the hardest work of farming. When you want to plant seeds, like wheat seeds for example, and harvest them, you need to plow the soil first. Loosening up the ground around those seeds so that water will get to them, and so that they will be able to grow. You can plow even with a strong stick: you stick it in the ground and wiggle it around, and then drop a seed in, covering it loosely with dirt.

But when you want to plow an entire field it’s faster to use a real plow, pulled by horses, donkeys or an ox. As the animals push it along through the dirt, the soil gets ready to host the seeds.

On Shabbat it is prohibited to plow the ground –to level it off or make holes in it, like the holes used for planting seeds or for planting trees. Included in this prohibition is any preparation or improvement of land for agricultural use.

Involuntary plowing should be prevented as well. This includes for example carrying a heavy object -a very heavy chair for example- in soft ground, unintentionally making furrows. Making holes or furrows in the ground and making mere compressions in the ground is different. The latter, which is what wheels of a wheelchair or a baby carriage might do to the ground, is permissible on Shabbat.

Shabbat Shalom!!!

Candle lighting in NYC: 4:41 PM
Shabbat ends in NYC: 5:50 PM

 

 

Click here to see real Plowing:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SocUHhtLIIY&feature=related

 

 

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



HONORING PARENTS and other relatives.

Today is the 12th day of Shebat , 5771

The Mitzva of honoring parents extends to other relatives. The main difference between our parents and any other relatives is that toward our parents we have two obligations:
1. Honor and 2. Obedience/respect of their authority (mora). While toward other relatives is limited to honoring.
1. One should honor his older siblings. For example, it is customary that a younger brother or sister will stand up when the older brother goes (‘ole) to the Torah, etc.
2. In our community grandchildren stand up for their grandparents when they go to the Torah. They would also kiss their grandparents hands when they come down from an ‘alia, as a sign of love and honor, and after Friday night’s Kiddush. Grandparents are also honored in special occasions, like being the Sandak in a Berit Mila, etc.
3. Honoring also applies to one’s in-Laws. We learn this from David haMelekh who called King Shaul : ‘My father’ (Shmuel I, 24, 11. David was married to Shaul’s daughter, Mikhal) that one should honor his father and mother in-Law as one honors his own parents. This rules applies even if one’s father or mother in-Law are of a young age. The son/daughter in law should stand up for them, etc. In Sephardic communities it is also customary not calling in-Laws by their first name, but addressing them with the honor one addresses an important person. Or calling them ‘father’ / ‘mother’ as one does with his own parents.
(Yalkut Yosef, Kibbud Ab vaEm, bet. 496-515)



Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



SHABBAT and watering plants and flowers (Zore’a)

Today is the 9th day of Shebat , 5771

There are 39 categories of Melakha (creative tasks) that are forbidden of Shabbat.

One of them is Zore’a, which literally means: sowing.

This prohibition includes all activities which will make or help any plant to grow.
It is forbidden to sow seeds, to plant trees or flowers, etc. Trimming a tree, which will cause the branches to regrow stronger, is also considered a derivative of ‘sowing’.
One of the most common activities included in this melakha is watering plants, trees, flowers or grass on the ground or in planters: all these activities are not permitted during Shabbat. (As we have previously explained, it is permitted to program before Shabbat a sprinkle or an irrigation system that will be automatically activated on Shabbat).
Although watering plants is forbidden, according to the Sephardic custom, it is permitted to place on Shabbat plants like mint branches or myrtle branches or a bouquet of flowers on a vase with water. It is also permitted to add water into that vase. This is because these plants are already detached from the ground and we are just delaying their dryness, not causing them to grow (rishba, birke yosef).
On that note, many Rabbis will authorize to place flowers on water on Shabbat only if the flowers have already blossomed, and not when the flowers are still incipient and closed.
(Yalkut Yosef)

Shabbat Shalom!

Candle lighting in NYC: 4.33 PM
Shabbat ends in NYC: 5.42 PM

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



The middle of the road

Today is the 7th day of Shebat , 5771

Maimonides explains that when we detect in our personalities an inclination toward one extreme, we should aspire to correct it, bringing ourselves to the center. Sometimes we should force ourselves and ‘act’ for a while on the opposite equidistant side. In this way, with time we will attain the desired balanced ‘golden’ way.

In De’ot Chapter 1, 4 haRambam brings some examples:

“A man should not be wrathful and easily angered, and from the other side he should not be cold as a corpse, having no feelings and being moved by no thing. A man should adopt a middle-of-the-road-way, displaying anger only for a very serious matter and only in order to prevent that matter from happening again”.

In other words, Maimonides prescribes to practice a ‘controlled anger’ and display it just for practical purposes. Anger should ‘never’ come as an impulsive blind reaction.

“Similarly” -Maimonides continues- “a man should not desire more than what he needs for his body and for whatever necessary to live. Like the Pasuk says: a righteous man eats to satisfy his soul(=body)”.

haRambam is giving us an illustration in the area of overeating or with being obsessed about ‘what’ one is going to eat next. He is definitely not referring to poor people who have nothing to eat but to those who are wealthy and are permanently thinking ‘what’ (or in which restaurant) are they going to eat next.

A righteous person does not think too much about food and eats what and when he or she needs.
For previous Halakhot on this matter see here the section ‘Kosher Habits’

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC 130 Steamboat Rd. Great Neck NY 11024



Balanced parenting

Today is the 5th day of Shebat , 5771

Honoring parents is one of the most important Mitzvot of the Torah.
Children are commanded to respect, obey and honor their parents.
From the other side, parents are advised to inspire their children to respect and care of them, behaving toward them in an honorable and affectionate way. Parents are expected to build a relationship with their children balancing ‘authority’ with ‘love’. When one of these two elements is not there, the relationship will turn into a dysfunctional one.
The rabbis offered some guidelines and examples on how to maintain this delicate balance.
A parent should not be extremely demanding with his children, imposing on them duties they won’t be able to perform. Because in this way his children will be involuntarily forced to transgress the Mitzvah of respecting and obeying one’s parents.
A parent is also advised to inspire respect (yir-ah) without imposing fear (pachad) in his home. Unlike respect-balanced-with-love, fear is recognized when a son or a daughter would be terrified to tell his or her parent about a mistake he or she made. If a son does not feel comfortable talking to his parents about a mistake he made, the possibility of a healthy dialogue is compromised. The Rabbis explain that ‘respect’ based on intimidation is a formula for long-term serious problems within the family. (The same is true for husband and wife).
(From Yalkut Yosef, Kibbud Ab vaEm, Bet, 317-325)

RECOMMENDED BOOK ON JEWISH PARENTING


The Delicate Balance
Love and Authority in Torah Parenting by Sarah Chana Radcliffe

This timeless parenting book, now back in print by a popular author, educator, and parenting expert, shows us how to win the whining war the Jewish way. Exploring a complete range of parenting strategies including the details of conveying love, building trust, and developing effective disciplinary skills, it presents explicit parenting scenarios with “right way” and “wrong way” dialogues to illustrate essential parenting skills and their consequences.
(See www.targum.com or your local Jewish bookstore)

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



SHABBAT plucking fruits or flowers (Kotzer)

Today is the 2nd day of Shebat , 5771

There are 39 categories of Melakha (creative tasks) that are forbidden of Shabbat. One of them is Kotser: reaping fruits, flowers, plants, leaves, etc. from the ground or from a tree or cutting branches for a fireplace, or mowing a lawn.

In other words, cutting or plucking any ‘growing’ thing.

This is one of the few melakhot explicitly mentioned in the Torah (Ex. 34:21), “Six days shall you work, but you shall pause on the seventh; in plowing and in harvesting, you shall stop.”

Examples: During Shabbat you cannot reap a fruit from its tree, even though you intend to eat it right away. Similarly, during Shabbat you cannot cut a mint -branch while is attached to the ground. Not even to use it for smelling it and say a berakha (when using mint branches for Habdala, we should be careful to pick those mint branches, only once Shabbat is over!).

From the other side, once the fruit is already detached from the tree or a plant is detached from the ground, you may cut it or break it in smaller pieces.

For example: if you have a mint branch already detached from the ground, you may cut it ‘with your hands’ in smaller branches or leaves, in the same way you are allowed to cut an apple, once is not in the tree anymore.

A a fruit which falls naturally from a tree on Sabbath, may not be used on the same day (Mukse).

Shabbat Shalom!

Candle Lighting in NY: 4:26 PM
Shabbat Ends in NY: 5:35 PM

Children Singing Moroccan Habdalah http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xigNLJkD5RQ

 

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



Compulsive liars

Today is Rosh Chodesh Shebat , 5771

The Torah forbids to lie.
The Torah distinguishes between different levels of lying. In Shemot 23, 7 the Pasuk says: midebar sheker tirchak “keep yourself away from telling lies”. Which our rabbis interpreted as the prohibition to tell something about the past or about one’s future intentions, changing deliberately the details of it.

Lies are also classified according to the damage they cause. Although it is forbidden to lie even when no harm is caused, the more harm the lie causes to someone else, the more serious the lie is considered.

Our rabbis explain that the first victim of lies is very often the liar.
When someone gets use to lie, he builds for himself an alternative reality. A dimension he devises for himself to accommodate his wishes, fears, complexes. He will give more importance to his perception of the facts than to the facts themselves.

Sometimes -the Rabbis (and the psychologists) explain- a person might get addicted to lies. And in needs of changing reality or escaping reality in order to survive or enjoy life. This person is called ‘a compulsive liar’. Someone who lies out of habit.

“Lying is their normal and reflexive way of responding to questions. Compulsive liars bend the truth about everything, large and small. For a compulsive liar, telling the truth is very awkward and uncomfortable while lying feels right. Compulsive lying is usually thought to develop in early childhood, due to being placed in an environment where lying was necessary”. The compulsive liar many times suffers from a very low self esteem and might need therapy and counseling.

How to Stop Compulsive lying?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7olO2PBr-8Q

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024



Gardening and shaping habits

Today is the 29th day of Tebet, 5771

Maimonides (Rambam) writes in Hilkhot De’ot Ch. 1, that we all have different habits and tendencies. In this area, the good path is the middle path. The path which is equidistant from both extremes.

But what happens when we ‘naturally’ lean toward one of the extremes? How can we get to be in the middle of the road? We know we have to correct it, but can we correct it? And if so, how?

Before we ask haRambam, first ask a gardener.

If you have in you backyard a small tree or a branch leaning to one side, what should you do so it grows straight?

Your gardener will first assess your tree. If your tree has a 20 degrees inclination, and it grows on a 70° angle you have to stake your tree. When you stake your tree do not tie your tree at 90°! When you are coming from 70° and you aim to get to 90° you must stake your tree at 110° angle on the opposite side! With time, the 110° you impose on your tree will balance its ‘natural ’70° deviation and you will get a tree growing at 90°.

Maimonides explains that a similar process will take place with our character. If we have a natural inclination to one side we need to force ourselves ‘acting’ for a while on the other equidistant side. In this way, with time we will attain the desired balanced ‘golden’ way.

How to get straight branches?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bAt4YedsiJQ&feature=related

Rabbi Yosef Bitton. YMJC | 130 Steamboat Rd. | Great Neck | NY | 11024