In our community it is customary to name the newborn with an Hebrew name and an English name.  Sometimes these two names are related, like Rebecca and Ribka. Sometimes both names are identical in English and in Hebrew, like: Daniel or Gabriel. And sometimes there is no relationship between them.

While the choosing of the English name is done more or less arbitrarily, the Hebrew name is normally given after the grandparents. (When more babies come, BH, they are named after the great-grandparents and so on). The source of this custom is literally pre-Abraham Abinu. The first recorded case of a man that named his son after his father was Terach, Abraham’s father. His father’s name was Nachor and he named one of his sons Nachor (Thanks to Mr Edward Dilamani for sharing with me this insight!).

In most Sephardic communities the first son or daughter is named after the father’s parents and the second son or daughter after the mother’s parents.

Parents should definitely keep away from asking mystical rabbis what Biblical names have “good luck or bad luck” or which “combination of names brings good luck or bad luck”. Those are mere superstitions and foreign practices that could bring unnecessary conflicts into the families. One example of a real case that happened in our community. A naive mother was told by a rabbi: Don’t name your newborn daughter “Rachel”, because Rachel (the Biblical Rachel imenu) died young”. Obviously, this absurd consideration does not make absolutely any sense. But the impressionable mother was now very scared for her daughter’s well-being and she refused to name her child after her own mother, Rachel, because of that ridiculous advice, causing a lot of pain to her mother.

Our Rabbis suggested in the case of Aharon and his sons, Nadab and Abihu, that actually when not naming one’s parents–especially when they have asked or wanted to be named–we should feel a great deal of consternation, for the consequences of depriving our parents from this high honor.

Click here to read:  “TEFILLIN: Everything you need to know about those powerful black boxes, placed on the head and arm” by  Rabbi Shraga Simmons, from Aish.

The name-giving of the daughter –known in Sephardic communities as Zebed haBat and in some Ashkenazi communities as Shabua haBat— takes place usually during the first Shabbat or within the first month after the birth of a girl.

As to the ceremony, there are many different traditions. I describe the ceremony according to Siddur bene tzion (there are no talmudic sources for it).

1.The father is invited to the Torah and after he finishes his Aliya a prayer is recited:

2. Before the prayer, the Chazan or the Rabbi recites a verse from Shir haShirim (The Song of Songs 2:14) praising the pristine beauty and the sweet voice of the baby girl. If she is the first girl to be born in the family, another verse (6:9) is added, describing her as a unique beautiful creature, the new Princess of the home.

3. Then, the name is giving:

“He Who blessed our mothers Sara and Ribka, Rachel and Lea, the prophetess Miriam, Abigayil and Queen Esther, the daughter of Abichayil, may He bless this beloved girl and let her name in Am Israel be known as:…   (here her Hebrew is pronounced and the name of her father: for example, “Rachel bat Abraham”. In many communities they mention the name of the mother as well, i.e., Rachel bat Abraham and Sara…)… with good mazal and in a time of blessing. May she grow up with good health, peace and tranquility; and may her father and her mother merit to see her joy and her wedding, with sons, prosperity and honor; and may they be healthy and fresh, and live until an old age; and so may this be His will, and let us say, Amen!”.

4. In many Sephardic communities the mother is also welcomed to say from her seat the thanksgiving blessing (Birkat haGomel)  .

Previously, we explained that God does not have a body or any resemblance to humans (see here).

So different is God from us that we cannot even express with words anything about God himself on our own. We cannot say, for example “God is big” . Why? Because in our limited human language, the idea of ‘big’ might be used to refer to a ‘big’ cake, or a ‘big’ building, etc. How would we were to use that same word or idea referring to HaShem Almighty! HaShem’s greatness is absolutely beyond our knowledge, our imagination and our ability to express it with words. According to Maimonides, then, we must use words “via negativa”. We should not say, for example, ‘God is a spirit’, but we can say, ‘God is not a body”.  There is one exception. In the Tefila (prayers) we do use words referring to God, but just to address God. When they composed the Amida (main prayer), the Rabbis also dealt with this question and they were hesitant to utilize any adjectives which will, so to speak, ‘define’, HaShem Almighty. “How could we dare to say about God, like Great, Powerfull, and Awesome (haGadol haGibbor vehaNora) ? Their answer was that we might say these words to address God, because Moshe Rabbenu used them in Perashat Debarim. So, we are just quoting the words of the Tora, without any pretension of understanding HaShem’s greatness.

When we dare to think of Hashem as if He is one of us, or as if we would know in our own what He thinks, or what He likes, we are just projecting our own small mind into an imaginary god. All that can be known about the God of Am Israel, is whatever He Himself wished to reveal in the Torah. It is through His Tora (Torah shebikhtab with Torah Shebe’al pe) that He communicated to us what His will is and how to address Him.

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The Rabbis of the Talmud (=chazal) have given a few practical advices on Shidukhim, i.e., looking for the right spouse. The decision should be made based on two factors, which must be in agreement: our emotions and our mind. In other words, if we have feelings toward a person but the mind says that is not a good idea, or if the mind says ‘yes’, but there are negative feelings toward that person,  the Shidukh must be reconsidered.

 

In the area of the mind, one is advised to make sure that the other person has middot tobot, good qualities; comes from a decent family, and that the communication channels and that values and character traits are more or less compatible.  In the Talmud Yerushalmi the rabbis saw favorably to take a bride “from his tribe and (extended) family (i.e., community) lidabbeq beshibto ubmishpachto. (Qiddushin, 4:4) because the cultural and traditional common grounds are obviously greater. Some bad traits should be seen as red flags like: arrogance, greed and a short temper. Those are character flaws which are difficult to correct and one should avoid.

 

In the area of emotions, the rabbis did not to say that we must feel an immediate attraction toward the prospective candidate, on the contrary, that might be a sign of looking superficially at a person. “Falling in love”, and especially, “love at first sight”,  might be a dangerous trap. Because “falling” in love might imply a temporary shutting-off of our mind, indispensable to  make a good decision.    What the Rabbis warned us against  is having an emotional antagonism toward the other person =’rejection at first sight’. If those negative feelings are there, then, one should not proceed.

 

Most couples I know, the first times they met, did not feel an automatic attraction nor an automatic rejection for each other, they were emotionally ‘parve’ . Then, they invested some time for the emotions to be nurtured, as they interacted as a couple in the dating process and got to know each other better.

 

Today is a fast day. We remember the siege of the hoy City, Yerushalaim, in the year 586 BCE, at the time of our first Bet haMiqdash (see  here ).

On the 10th of Tebet there are only two prohibitions: eating and drinking. NO additional limitations apply, such as the prohibition of wearing leather shoes, working, driving, washing the body, etc.

Most contemporary Rabbis (R. E. Melamed, Rab O. Yosef) authorize to wash one’s mouth or brush one’s teeth in this Ta’anit, when necessary, provided you will be very careful to lower your head as to avoid swallowing water unintentionally.

THE FAST ENDS TODAY at 5:13 PM (NYTime )

In modern Israel, the 10th of Tebet is also recognized as the day of the Kaddish Haklaly. According to the Chief rabbinate of Israel, today we should light a remembrance candle in the Synagogue and we recite the Hazkara le Chalale Hashoa after Tora reading and all those whose parents are not alive should say the Kaddish Yatom (luach dinim uminhaguim 5772, pages. 55,109).

This point requires more explanation.

In 1949, and before the day of Yom HaShoa was established, the Chief rabbinate of Israel decided that the Tenth of Tebet should be the national remembrance day for the victims of the Holocaust. They recommended traditional Jewish ways of remembering the dead, such as the study of Mishna Mikvaot, saying Tehilim lighting a candle and a public massive recitation of the Kaddish for those Holocaust victims whose names, and date of death remains unknown. Fasting, the most common Jewish expression of sorrow, was already prescribed for this day.

In Israel many people felt that the horror of the Holocaust should be remembered on its own, and a special day should be dedicated to the Shoa victims’ memory.   “For the Holocaust survivors there was only one day worthy of being a memorial anniversary for the Holocaust–April 19, the beginning day of the Warsaw ghetto revolt the greatest revolt of them all, the uprisings that had held the Nazis at bay for a longer period than the great French army”  (I. Greenberg). That is how the 27 of Nissan was chosen to commemorate Yom haShoa. Yom HaShoah was inaugurated in 1953, by a law signed by the Prime minister of Israel David ben Gurion.

Since then and in practical terms, we have two public days in which we mourn for the Holocaust: Yom haShoa, the official day, and ‘asara betebet, in which we fast, and say the Kaddish Klaly to remember all those unknown victims of the Nazi genocide.

Who is exempted from fasting?
 
Minors: boys under 13 and girls under 12 years old are completely exempted from fasting.
 
Nursing women: According to the Sephardic Minhag, after giving birth women are exempted from fasting for 24 months, even if they are not actually nursing their baby.
 
Pregnant women, especially after the first 3 months, are exempted from fasting.
 
A person who feels sick, for example, flu or fever or one who has a chronic disease, for example, diabetes, should not fast.
 
Elders should consult with their physicians if the fast will not affect their health. If it will, they are exempted (and in some cases, prohibited) from fasting.

Yesterday we mentioned two of the three events that are remembered in ‘asara betebet (see here). It is important to clarify that the main reason we fast on this day is specifically because of the siege of Yerushalaim. The other two tragedies are brought to our national memory because they roughly coincide on the same date.

3. Approximately in the year 300 BCE, on the 8th of Tebet, King Ptolemy forced 70 Jewish scholars to translate the Hebrew Bible into Greek. The 70 scholars were placed in separated rooms and yet, they all translated the Biblical text in the same exact way. Although it was done by Rabbis, the Septuagint is not considered a translation which follows rabbinical tradition. The official Jewish translation is Targum Onqelos (=Targum Didan) done by Jews for Jews. As explained in Talmud Yerushalmi (Megila 9) the authors of the Septuagint deliberately deviated from a Jewish normative rendering and in many cases, adapted the Biblical text to the Greek mentality, values and sensitivities to please the monarch.

As a whole, this translation of the Tora was considered a tragic event. Why? Because the new Greek Bible advanced the agenda of the Hellenist Jews who sought to bring Greek culture into Jewish life. Now they were able to manipulate the Torah for their own purposes.

Eventually, the Septuagint paved the way to create many new non-Jewish “Biblical” religions. Unlike pagan cults, these new religions were supposedly grounded on the Jewish Scripture! The Septuagint was now interpreted and reinterpreted to justify whatever any monarch or any priest wished to say: “In the name of God”. Ironically, based on this translation and later on a latin version (Vulgata), many religions pretended for centuries to teach to us, the recipients of the Tora, what the “the true religion,” is and what is “the true spirit of the Bible.”….

In our Community we begin the fast tomorrow morning at 6.00 AM and we end it at 5:13 PM (NY time).