HILKHOT TESHUBA 4:2 When the King repents

Maimonides explains the difficulties of admitting to ourselves that we have sinned. Taking charge of our misdeeds -hakarat haHet- is probably the hardest step in the process of Teshuba. In the days before Rosh haShana we are expected to act as our own judges evaluating objectively our past actions. “Objectivity” is not an easy state of mind. It goes against our normal mental behavior. We naturally tend to justify our actions. Everything we have done becomes right in our own eyes.
David haMelekh committed a terrible sin. He took bat-sheba, a married woman, and sent her husband, a soldier, to a sure death in the battlefront. David did not repent by the call of his own conscience. Natan the prophet was sent by God to admonish the King and help him realize the seriousness of the sins he committed. Natan came to the court of King David (back then, the King was also the supreme Judge) and presented him with a fictitious case to judge: A rich man owned thousands of animals. His poor neighbor had only one lamb. One day the rich man had an important guest coming to his house. In order to spare one of his own animals the rich man decided to slaughter his neighbor’s lamb, which he dearly loved.  As Natan expected the King reacted angrily toward this injustice. King David said: “That man (=the rich guy) deserves to die!” Natan the prophet then turned to David and said: atta ha-ish…. “You are that man!”.  Faced now with the objective facts and having issued the harsh sentence against himself King David recognized his wrongdoing. He repented and humbly confessed: ‘hattati laHashem…’ , ‘I have sinned against God’. 
Due to the irreparable damage caused by these transgressions, David was not permitted to build the bet-haMiqdash. But God accepted his repentance.
Natan opened the King’s eyes. And helped him realize the gravity of his actions objectively. By presenting him a fictitious case he forced the King to play the role of an impartial judge. Allowing him to “watch at himself from the balcony”. Freeing him from the psychological mechanisms of self-defense. Which often represent the biggest obstacle in the way to repentance.

 



HILKHOT TESHUBA 4:1-2. Obstacles in the way of Teshuba

In Chapter 4 of Hilkhot Teshuba Maimonides enumerates twenty-four actions, personality patterns or attitudes which prevent or make very difficult for a person to begin or undergo the process of repentance.
Three illustrations.
DOMINO EFFECT (4:1)
Those who because of their teachings or their bad example…. induce or influence other people to sin. Sometimes, if we have taught or inspire other people to act in the wrong way, we have triggered a negative domino effect which eventually gets out of our hand. In this case repentance is virtually impossible. Why? Because part of the process of repentance consists in repairing what I have done wrong. So, even if I personally repent from my wrong actions,  how could I be able to repair the damage other people have caused because of my wrong teachings or bad example? In this
 scenario, I’m virtually beyond redemption. Because despite my own personal repentance my example is still exerting a negative influence in other people to an unknown extent. 
CALCULATED TESHUBA (4:1) Sinning with the intention of repenting later. Maimonides refers here to a situation in which I’m about to commit a sin and before I do it I say to myself :  “I will sin now and repent for this sin later on.” Or I say to myself: “Since Yom Kippur is the day of forgiveness, I will sin now and God will forgive me for this sin in Yom Kippur”. In these conditions Teshuba is unacceptable. Because Teshuba is welcomed by the Creator when it comes from a sincere remorse, not when it is part of a calculated game-plan.
DEFENSIVE PERSONALITY (4:2) Someone who refuses to be corrected or criticized. Imagine a person incapable of accepting a minimal dose of positive criticism, even when coming from those who care for his or her well being. Many times, this type of personality-disfunction is a consequence of a low self esteem or other psychological issues which prevent a person to cope with any criticism.   This person, Maimonides concludes, will likely continue with his or her bad habits because is incapable of seeing himself as other people perceive him.
MAKE UP YOUR MIND
Great minds talk about ideas. 
Average minds talk about things. 
Small minds talk about people. 

Eleanor Roosevelt

 



HILKHOT TESHUBA 3:14 Maimonides on Bullying

 In the third chapter of Hilkhot Teshuba, Halakha 5,  Maimonides asserts that the Jews, and the righteous among the gentiles (haside ummot ha’olam), will be granted a share in ‘olam habba, the afterlife.
Then Maimonides writes about the exceptions to the above-mentioned rule. Those individuals who are excluded from the world to come because of the severity of their sins (unless they repair the damage they have caused and repent during their lifetime).  Maimonides enumerates twenty-four categories of sins. These include heretical statements-such as denying the existence of God, and sins with irreparable effects, like committing national treason (moredim, moserim) killing, and slandering (ba’ale leshon hara’).
Toward the end of the chapter (3:14) Maimonides refers to eight cases, seemingly of a lesser severity, which were also mentioned by the Rabbis as sins for which one would lose his or her part in the world to come.
Four of these cases could be translated in modern term as “bullying” (nicknaming, verbal abuse, etc.). Bullying is a verbal offense which can cause as much damage as physical violence. Unlike physical violence, though, bullying is usually not penalized by secular law and could go unseen for a long time. Victims of bullying, especially if they suffer from low self esteem, usually do not denounce the perpetrators (and low self-esteem is an effect of bullying-do you see the vicious cycle here?). Because of this, abusive bullying tends to continue with devastating emotional effects for long periods of time.
Unfortunately, in our days bullying has become epidemic. In some cases the classroom or bus is divided into three groups: the bullies, the victim/s of bullying and those who watch and do nothing.
As parents, we need to be alert and detect the symptoms of bullying.  We should educate our children in the following ways: First, to identify and denounce bullying if they are victims of it.  Second, to not be passive bystanders when they witness acts of bullying. Third and most importantly, to respect the dignity of every human being and keep away from this hideous behavior.

 

 



HILKHOT TESHUBA 2:1: Forgiveness and quality of life

Yesterday we explained that when somebody apologizes for an offense or for a wrong thing he or she did to us, we should be willing to forgive and also forget. After all, we are asking from God to forgive us. And by taking the fist step forgiving others, we certainly become more deserving of God’s forgiveness .
Question: Can we forgive others on our own, or should we wait for their request for forgiveness?
There is a fundamental difference between asking forgiveness and granting forgiveness. Granting forgiveness can be done unilaterally. Obviously, it is nicer and more appropriate when the offender comes and apologizes. But sometimes people are too shy or have too many psychological barriers or pride (=low self esteem) which impairs them from the possibility of taking charge of their wrongdoings and apologize.
And still, we can forgive.
In the Talmud, Megila 28a, we read that the elder R. Nehunya ben haQane was asked by his disciples: “In virtue of what have you reached such a good old age? He quoted the verse. ‘Never thecurse of my fellow man came up to my bed with me’. This was explained [=exemplified] by Mor Zutra who every night when going to bed would say: ‘I forgive all those who have offended me'”.
In other words: Every night before going to sleep Rabbi Nehunya practiced forgiveness of his own initiative. This unilateral exoneration freed Rabbi Nehunya from the curse of hatred and resentment, and impacted positively in the length (and probably also on the quality) of his life.
There is a beautiful prayer, inspired by the example of Rabbi Nehunya found in every prayer book in the section of Qeriyat Shema’ ‘al haMita. The following is an excerpt of that prayer “RIBBONO SHE OLAM, HARENI MOHEL VESOLEAH…” to be said before we go to sleep. 
  
“Master of the Universe! Behold, I forgive anyone who has angered or offended me. Whether it was directed toward my person or my money or my honor or anything which pertains to me. [I forgive them], whether his or her actions were performed by total accident or willingly; through negligence or premeditation; whether it was done through speech or physical action. [I forgive them and I request from You]: may no person be punished because of me…”
I must clarify once again that in this Halakha I’m referring particularly to forgiveness in the context of social and personal minor offenses, when a friend, a family member, a colleague, a neighbor, etc. did or said something wrong to us. Forgiveness for criminal or major offenses belong to a different category and can not be addressed in these brief lines. 

 



HILKHOT TESHUBA 1:1: to be or not to be specific?

Maimonides explains that the commandment of Teshuba is fulfilled when we recite the Viduy.  Viduy is the verbal confession of our transgressions, while feeling regret and shame for the wrong things we have done.
The Viduy/confession is done privately. We do not disclose our sins in front of other people or a minister, but only in front of God. Whispering the confession to ourselves.
There is a discussion in the Talmud (Rabbi Yehuda ben Baba vs. Rabbi Aqiba) if one needs to specify his or her wrongdoings or one can just state in general terms that he has acted wrongly. It is similar to the situation we would face when we want to apologize to someone we have offended: should we apologize mentioning the specifics of our wrongdoing or should we just say a general “I’m sorry for what I have done to you “?
According to the Shulhan Arukh it is not necessary to mention every specific sin that one has committed. This leniency aims specifically at not discouraging a person who wants to repent. Since he might not be capable –or courageous enough– to recalling the particulars of his wrong behavior. A general confession facilitates the process of Teshuba.
Maimonides, however, rules like the first opinion and indicates that one should mention in his private confession everything wrong he has done. Teshuba 1:1, “and then one shall confess, I have done so and so…”.
If we wish to follow Maimonides opinion we need to apply ourselves to a deep process of introspection. Exercising our memory and struggling against our impulses of denial and self advocacy. While reviewing our past actions it might help to write down all misdeeds we can remember. Including obviously, unpaid debts and apologies we owe to our peers.
In the context of Maimonides opinion the text of the Viduy –the one we say for Selihot, for example– should be seen as a reminder of the points we should recall, repent for, and hopefully correct.
This challenging spiritual/ethical/intellectual activity cannot be done overnight. We dedicate to it forty days, from the beginning of Elul until Yom Kippur: the day we devote ourselves entirely and exclusively to the exercise of Teshuba/Viduy.

 



The # 1 Mitzva of the Tora

The first Mitzva of the Tora and the first blessing given by haShem to humankind is to marry and have children. Genesis 1:28 says: “And God blessed them [Adam and Eve] and God said to them, reproduce and multiply, fill the earth and be its master”.  
The Rabbis of the Mishna debated on the point at which the Mitvza of having children is considered fulfilled.
Bet-Shamai said that this Mitzva is fulfilled by having two boys. Same as Adam and Eve who, at the beginning, brought two boys to the world: Cain and Abel.
Bet-Hillel, however, says that this Mitzvah is not considered fulfilled until one has at least a boy and a girl. Because this is how God created the first prototype of humankind:  one man and one woman. 
The Rabbis resolved the discussion ruling like Bet-Hillel. 
Why? Among other things because the first word of this commandment peru literally means: to “reproduce”. A husband and a wife must first produce a replica of themselves, i.e.,  a man and a woman. Leaving in the world the same number and kind of lives that God originally planted on this planet.  
One more thing: although the Mitzvah of peru urbu is fulfilled by having a boy and a girl the Rabbis said that it is a great merit to have as many children as one can. This guidance can be learned from the second word of this Mitzva:  urbu which means: “multiply”. The first word “reproduce” means bringing to the world a replica of yourselves, the second word “multiply” means to increase yourselves by “bringing into this world more lives than yourselves”.
Obviously this Mitzva is not exclusively in our hands. To fulfill this Mitzva one first has to get married. And then the spouses need the most beautiful gift of HaShem: the blessing of having children.

In honor of the wedding of my daughter Mijal Bitton and her fiancee Sion Setton.


See how HASHEM blesses Medinat Israel
WATCH
How Israel is making a world of difference.



SELIHOT: Training for a Marathon day

From the second day of the month of Elul (today!) until Yom Kippur, the Sephardic custom is to recite the Selihot prayer.Selihot is a special Tefila which inspires us to reflect on our actions and ask forgiveness from our peers and from the Almighty for our mistakes and wrongdoings. Selihot is traditionally said before the morning prayer (Shaharit), although technically, Selihot could be said also during nighttime (after midnight) or even during the day.The Ashkenazi Minhag is to start Selihot services the last Sunday before Rosh haShana. However, when Rosh haShana falls on a Monday or Tuesday (it can never fall on a Sunday) Selihot will begin two Sundays before Rosh haShana.

Also, during the entire month of Elul the Ashkenazim and many Sephardim (Moroccans, Persians, etc. but not Syrians) have the custom to blow the Shofar.

The goal of Selihot and the blowing of the Shofar is to inspire us to begin the process of Teshuba. Teshuba consists of introspection and repentance. But ultimately it means coming back or closer to God (depending on one’s point of departure).  This high spiritual goal cannot be achieved overnight or just by making a decision to change. It demands a serious and patient course of actions in which we revisit our deeds and particularly our values.  We reexamine our goals and the distractions that have driven us away from those goals.  This intense spiritual intellectual process begins today and culminates during Yom Kippur.  Think of Yom Kippur as a spiritual marathon: a whole day consecrated exclusively to appealing to HaShem, begging His forgiveness and committing ourselves to major changes in our lives. No one will run a marathon without a previous training. Similarly, to be in good shape for Yom Kippur we make an intense forty-days training of which Selihot is a most essential part.

Dedicated to baby Yosef Bitton, son of Jacob and Rivkah.  

 



RELIGIOUS INTEGRITY: The Honest YES

 In the Tora it is written: (vayiqra 19:36) “Use honest scales and honest weights, an honest ephah  and an honest hin ; I am the LORD your God, who brought you out from the land of Egypt.” Epha and hin are Biblical units of measurements (like pounds or ounces). The Tora instructs the seller to keep his commercial scales well adjusted and clean. So there is no dishonesty in trade and business transactions. Otherwise, even a little dirt on the scale will affect the final weight. And the buyer will get less than what he or she is paying for.  
Our Rabbis extended the scope of this Mitzva. To remember this rule they explained that the word hin –a liquid measure unit– is similar to the word hen which in ancient Aramaic means YES.  They said:  in the same way we must have an honest scale (hin) we need say an honest “yes” (hen). In a business transaction our YES has to be always an honest YES.    
Illustration: A client is willing to buy a car from me right now if I assure him that I will deliver the car at the end of the week.  I know that I will not get the car by the end of the week. But I say to myself: ‘I will close the deal now, and tomorrow or the next day I just tell him that there was an unexpected delay’. So I say YES and we close the deal. That would be an example of a dishonest YES.   I should have told the truth to my customer.  Even when I know that by saying NO he might go somewhere else to buy his car. If I lie to my customer and I say a dishonest YES I’m transgressing the Mitzvah of keeping a right YES, and a right NO. 
  
Rabbi Eliezer Papo (1785-1828) in his book Pele Yo’etz assures that although in the short term the seller might lose a good deal, in the long term, the honest YES and the honest NO is not just the right thing to do but the smartest business decision as well. Because, he explains, there is no bigger asset for a seller than his good name and a good reputation. 
WATCH 
by Mrs Lori Palatnik, from Aish.com



Rabbi Ya’akob Hajez (1620-1674)

Rabbi Ya’aqob Hajez (aka Hagiz) was born in Fez, Morocco in 1620. In 1657 and after living in Livorno (Italy) for a few years, Rabbi Hajez settled in Jerusalem as the head of a new Bet haMidrash (=Yeshiba) founded and supported by the Vega brothers, two Jewish philanthropist from Livorno who supported the Jews living in Jerusalem.  The name of this Bet Midrash was Bet Ya’aqob but it was also known as “Yeshibat haHesger” (=the enclosed Yeshiba) because its Rabbis and students would never leave the premises of the Yeshiba unnecessarily. In that Yeshiba the students also learned foreign languages, mathematics, engineering and other secular studies.  
 
Rabbi Hajez  was known for his bright mind and critical thinking. He was one of the main (and few) strong opponents to Shabbatai Zevi, the false prophet.  Shabbatai Zevi came to Yerushalayim in 1665 and the rabbis of the city, led by Rabbi Hagiz, excommunicated him until he was forced to leave Jerusalem.  
 
Rabbi Hajez  was a very prolific writer.  Among his works we can mention:
 
Etz haHayim: A commentary on all treatises of the Mishna
 
Halakhot Qetanot: A book on Rabbinical response dealing with multiple subjects.  See for example his responsa on the kashrut of the “Scincus scincus” a reptile/fish creature (Hebrew). 
 
Tehilat Hokhma: A book on the methodology of the Talmud. 
 
Orah Mishor: A very short book on the appropriate conduct of Rabbis and Torah Scholars. In the introduction he mentions that he writes this book as a reaction to comments made by people complaining about the unethical behavior of certain Torah Scholars.  Instead of denying the accusations, rabbi Hajez  wrote this treatise demanding from those who dedicate their lives to study Torah to raise their standard of behavior (=noblesse oblige). He explains that Torah scholars are exposed to a higher degree of accountability: “talmid-hakhamim, shegagot na’asot lo kizdonot“,  a mistake made by a Torah Scholar or a Rabbi is considered negligence or even a willful offense.  
Rabbi Moshe Hajez, his son
https://henryabramson.com/2016/03/15/who-was-r-moshe-hagiz/
 


To Download the books of Rabbi Ya’aqob Hajez go to www.hebrewbooks.com (יעקב חאגיז)
 

 

To download “Orah Mishor” click  here

 


Maimonides on how did Abraham Abinu find God?

Maimonides (MT, ‘abodat kokhabim, 1:3) explains that since his early childhood and while everyone else was adoring human-looking idols, Abraham began to think out of the box.  His questions were practical questions:  Everything moves –the sun, the moon, the stars– but Who is moving everything?  Most people, then and today, live their lives without this type of inquiries. They just follow and do what everyone else follows and does.  But Abraham was different.  He had reasonable doubts out of his own intellectual quest. When he was forty years old he arrived to the conclusion that there is a God, a Creator and ruler (manhig) of the universe. Abraham also realized that God is one. And furthermore, he was also able to conceive an idea unthinkable in those days for everyone else: that God is invisible!  He had not teacher, no mentor and no partners in these ideas.  He was surrounded by idol worshipers, including his own family. No one was curious like him to search the ultimate cause of the world’s constant dynamics, etc.    
There was one more extraordinary thing about Abraham: he was not satisfied with knowing the truth. He had to get the word out! Maimonides explains that Abraham held public debates with the people of Ur Kasdim. He advocated for his revolutionary ideas in front of his neighbors and family members. And became the first iconoclast (=destroyer of images and idols).  The Mesopotamian king, Nimrod, viewed Abraham as a dangerous instigator. Let us not forget that the kings considered themselves gods. The new ideas of Abraham were a threat to Nimrod’s divine status and to his unquestionable authority.  Nimrod condemned Abraham to death. Maimonides mentions that miraculously Abraham escaped Nimrod’s sentence and run away to Haran. Reaching eventually the land of Kena’an (Israel) where he dedicated the rest of his life to publicize his ideas about God.  

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Cuando El Rey Nimrod - Canción sefardí
Cuando El Rey Nimrod

by Yehoram Gaon­