VAYERA: Lot and the Frog a la Casserole

THE WORST DECISION OF YOUR LIFE

Lot and Abraham lived in the same area. But when Abraham’s shepherds and Lot’s shepherds fought over grazing land, Abraham suggested that they part ways. “Look at the land in front of you,” Abraham told his nephew, “and choose where you want to go. If you go north, I’ll go south. If you go south, I’ll go north.” Lot did not hesitate. He chose to settle in Sedom (Sodom). Why? Because Sedom was a city of wealth and economic stability. In those days, the region had plenty of rivers flowing from the Jordan. The Torah says it was “like the land of Egypt”: like the Nile Delta, it did not depend on rain, and droughts did not affect it. Lot surely imagined that in Sedom he would build a beautiful house, drive the best car, and that he and his children would marry into wealthy families. What a successful life awaited Lot in Sedom!

THE LAW OF SEDOM

But the Torah also warns that the people of Sedom were wicked and selfish. They did not let anyone share their wealth. Instead of helping others, they oppressed and exploited foreigners and anyone who did not belong to their exclusive club. Our Hakhamim say that Sedom had a law: “Anyone who helps a poor person, an orphan, or a foreigner will be executed.”

THE IMPORTANCE OF YOUR ENVIRONMENT

Lot came from an environment that could not have been more different. He was raised in the home of Abraham Abinu, a house open to everyone in need. He must have absorbed those lessons. I imagine that when Lot realized what the people of that city were like, he asked himself: “Now what? Do I stay or do I leave?” Lot decided to stay. Maybe he thought he was strong enough not to be influenced. He was wrong.

True, he kept some of Abraham’s traits. For example, he took in the strangers (the malakhim) at the risk of his own life. But he did it alone. Abraham prepared the feast for his guests together with his wife, Sara. Lot’s wife, on the other hand, is nowhere to be seen: Lot had to prepare the food by himself. In other words, Lot could not even influence his own family. The culture of Sedom had already become part of his wife’s and daughters’ values.

When Abraham asked HaShem not to destroy Sedom if ten righteous people could be found there, he was thinking of Lot and his family: Lot, his wife, his two married daughters and their husbands, and his two unmarried daughters and the men they were engaged to. Ten people in all. But HaShem destroyed the city, because those ten people were not righteous. Lot, as hard as he tried, could not shield his family from the corruption of Sedom. And there is more: Lot offered his own unmarried daughters to the mob surrounding his house. That makes it clear that Lot himself had been influenced by Sedom’s immorality. Without realizing it, he became one more victim of its culture.

FROG A LA CASSEROLE

One of the most important lessons I ever heard is the lesson of the boiled frog. How do you cook a frog? (I don’t know if this is true or an urban legend. Either way, please don’t try it at home: besides being terribly cruel, it isn’t kosher.) For the French and the Chinese, frog is a delicacy. The catch is that it has to be cooked alive. If you drop the frog straight into boiling water, it jumps right out of the pot. But if you put it in a pot of room-temperature water over a low flame, the frog doesn’t escape! How can that be?

US AND THE FROG

A frog’s body detects sudden changes in temperature. So if it goes from 70 degrees to the 212 degrees of boiling water, it jumps. But it tolerates small changes. It adjusts to the new temperature and cannot “add up” those changes and realize that something big is happening. Let me explain. When the low flame takes the water from 70 to 75 degrees, the frog’s brain says: “Five degrees is nothing. No danger.” And it adjusts to 75. When the water reaches 80, its brain, already used to 75, says: “Just five more degrees.” At 85, the same. The frog keeps adjusting and never manages to tell itself: “From 70 to 95… that’s 25 degrees! I don’t like this at all. This could end badly.” By the time the water reaches 212 degrees, it’s too late.

CHANGING WITHOUT NOTICING

Something very similar happens to people when it comes to influence. If we surround ourselves with people with bad values, we start absorbing those values little by little. So little by little that we don’t notice the change. Over time, we end up like the frog: we don’t see the small changes adding up, and by the time we realize it, it’s too late. The good news is that the same principle works the other way when we surround ourselves with good people. Those changes are not noticeable day to day either, like a teenager growing taller or the way we grow older, but they add up.

The lesson of Lot is that we must choose very carefully the environment where we live, where we study, and where we raise our children. Let’s not end up like Lot, or like the frog!

Rabbi Yosef Bitton